(no subject)
Two days ago I was sitting in the costume shop sewing on a wardrobe label. You use a simple whip stitch, you fold the bias tape's edges under and you write out the show, name of actor and character, and if it is a rental. There are lines for each bit of information-spelled out instructions right there.
For some reason my brain reformatted the label. I wrote it completely wrong. I have no idea why.
Our cutter draper caught me in time and pointed out my mistake and in that conversation something finally gave in my brain. The world shrank and then expanded with epiphany.
I suck.
And that's okay.
The last three months have been misery. Pure and simple. I could feel myself bucking against something, resisting some change, some nudge from above. I recognized it, I knew I was being obstinate but for the life of me could not figure out what I was digging my heels in for. Or against.
It was that I suck. I suck in a way I have never sucked before: Creatively. I went in with a certain amount of pride in myself and my abilities. I assumed that because the Lord showed me the right path, I could just give up the ghost and kick my heels up. Found where you belong? Time to get comfortable.
Life is not about comfort, it is about growth and exploration and daring yourself to be more than you are.
So I have been fighting against allowing myself to be absolutely awful at something while completely blocking myself off from learning and growing as an artist. Yes. I am a dunce. Duh-hur.
On a related, but not really note: If I pull off two more consecutive Dean's List semesters? I can graduate with Honors. How about them apples?
For some reason my brain reformatted the label. I wrote it completely wrong. I have no idea why.
Our cutter draper caught me in time and pointed out my mistake and in that conversation something finally gave in my brain. The world shrank and then expanded with epiphany.
I suck.
And that's okay.
The last three months have been misery. Pure and simple. I could feel myself bucking against something, resisting some change, some nudge from above. I recognized it, I knew I was being obstinate but for the life of me could not figure out what I was digging my heels in for. Or against.
It was that I suck. I suck in a way I have never sucked before: Creatively. I went in with a certain amount of pride in myself and my abilities. I assumed that because the Lord showed me the right path, I could just give up the ghost and kick my heels up. Found where you belong? Time to get comfortable.
Life is not about comfort, it is about growth and exploration and daring yourself to be more than you are.
So I have been fighting against allowing myself to be absolutely awful at something while completely blocking myself off from learning and growing as an artist. Yes. I am a dunce. Duh-hur.
On a related, but not really note: If I pull off two more consecutive Dean's List semesters? I can graduate with Honors. How about them apples?