Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from.
My dad is basically driving me crazy with this whole car situation, no pun intended. We have gone to look at cars no less than three times since I found out that I have this job. Every time, he hems and haws and bullshits with the salesman before walking away. I’m like, you know, I’m paying for the fucking thing, why can’t I just go and buy it myself? But he insists that I can’t get a loan with a good interest rate like he can (uh, what? I have a better credit score than he does!), and that the only way I can get his X Plan discount at Ford is to put the car in his name. Okay, so maybe he’s right about that last part, but it’s just a very frustrating situation. I’m like, there is a red ’07 Ford Focus S sitting right there for a good price, I don’t care that it doesn’t have tilt or power windows/locks or a spoiler or whatever. It has air and a CD/MP3 player and that’s good enough for me! But he keeps on going on and on about how he wanted to get a nicer car than that one and how he doesn’t want to have to make three car payments, etc. I just want to scream, hello, it’s my car and I’m making the payments! But that wouldn’t work.
Oh, yeah, and then today he tried to lecture me on how much money I’ve been spending. He was like, you spend money on shit you don’t need when you’re manic, like all those books for those classes you ended up dropping. I blew my stack and went on about all the frivolous purchases he makes all the time and he doesn’t even have the excuse of being mentally ill until he finally shut the hell up. I cannot stand the nights when it’s just me and my dad. He will not leave me alone about anything. Like, tonight, he wanted me to stay upstairs and watch some horrible, outdated movie with him that I had no interest in. If he had been watching something even marginal, I would’ve stayed up there, but no. So I went downstairs. So, what does he do? He leaves me alone for about twenty minutes and then comes down here too and turns on the TV and generally acts like a pain in the ass. My parents always want to know what I’m doing on the computer and I have no privacy. Sometimes, if I forget to lock my bedroom door, my dad will just burst in there without knocking. My mom at least knocks first, but she usually doesn’t wait for me to answer before barging in. They claim they’re doing it to protect me and take care of me. I want to know why everyone thinks you sign away your right to privacy when you try to commit suicide.
The only good thing about today was that I got a pair of Steve Madden platforms for half-off and I look fabulous in them.
Oh, yeah, and then today he tried to lecture me on how much money I’ve been spending. He was like, you spend money on shit you don’t need when you’re manic, like all those books for those classes you ended up dropping. I blew my stack and went on about all the frivolous purchases he makes all the time and he doesn’t even have the excuse of being mentally ill until he finally shut the hell up. I cannot stand the nights when it’s just me and my dad. He will not leave me alone about anything. Like, tonight, he wanted me to stay upstairs and watch some horrible, outdated movie with him that I had no interest in. If he had been watching something even marginal, I would’ve stayed up there, but no. So I went downstairs. So, what does he do? He leaves me alone for about twenty minutes and then comes down here too and turns on the TV and generally acts like a pain in the ass. My parents always want to know what I’m doing on the computer and I have no privacy. Sometimes, if I forget to lock my bedroom door, my dad will just burst in there without knocking. My mom at least knocks first, but she usually doesn’t wait for me to answer before barging in. They claim they’re doing it to protect me and take care of me. I want to know why everyone thinks you sign away your right to privacy when you try to commit suicide.
The only good thing about today was that I got a pair of Steve Madden platforms for half-off and I look fabulous in them.