*mope*
[Level - B (now made Public)]
Please excuse me. I'm a little sad right now. Having attempted an lj catch-up, I've found quite a number of entries which have left me feeling more down than I did at devalmont's departure.
Firstly, there seems to be a large proportion of break ups. As a follow on from that, several people resolving to abstain from relationships. This, in itself, is admirable. You should not ever be with someone out of habit or uncertainty at what life would have in store for you without them. But it is never easy or pain free, no matter what the reasons. Closing yourself off to from a chance of happiness to save yourself pain is more than understandable, and in some cases essential to nurse and heal wounds. However, no-one ought to be alone. I hope you can take sollace in your friends and families.
Secondly, I read the journal of a lady who had died. Her partner has continued it, speaking with love and compassion at what I can only imagine must be an incredibly difficult time for him. I shan't put it here but sapphrine lead me to it. It's fragile and beautiful.
Thirdly, as a result of all of this, I remembered how lucky I am.
I have had, once more, a magical weekend. I have been incredibly selfish and self centred but for some quite strange reason this has not dissuaded my lover. We had a great time with his parents on Friday night, he painted my nails exquisitely and we attended SNFNGS followed by Eddies last night.
I'm sure those who saw him will remember him. Incidentally that is his stage outfit. Quite how I managed to leave his side for even a moment I don't know - I blame vodka. I introduced him to many of you (and he seemed to know most of you from some other place, gypsygoth and whiterrabbit specifically, or have mutual friends). After drunkedness and drooling at SNFNGS, huggirl kindly transported us to Eddies (a surprise, I hope Hannah enjoyed her evening!) where I lost my memory and paid little heed to my ridiculously gorgeous man.
My love, I'm sorry.
Of course, it was eventually time to leave and the incredibly kind v_lizzy transported us back to the Black Priory. Thank you!
Being carried to the car was definately the highlight of my evening, as silly as that sounds. On arrival I was able to make toast but wasn't able to think through making up beds. Many apologies, I'm a terrible hostess and friend especially when drunk. Nudge me in the direction of my spare duvet and sofa, I tend to forget I have it.
Today was largely spent smiling and being happy, eating bed picnics and watching Cecil B Demented. Fabulous film, I do recommend it. Only I didn't want to watch it at all. I just wanted to watch him. He's left for Cambridge again. I hate it when either of us has to leave and it was, due to the early arrival of a bus, a rather rushed goodbye. Which brings me back to now.
I looked at lj in a vain bid to perk myself up. It hasn't worked. But only because I realise how special my life is and how easily that can go wrong.
I really am so sorry there isn't more I can do or say to help most of you. Right now, I feel rather useless and guilty.
You seem to have such sweet and fond memories of me, have been so kind and caring towards me and so happy for me - I hope I can be happy for you too. Whether you choose to be single, married, have children, have several partners... I wish you could be ok. No, scrub that. I wish you could feel wonderful. You all deserve to.
Thank you, all of you, for being there. For being you.
Please excuse me. I'm a little sad right now. Having attempted an lj catch-up, I've found quite a number of entries which have left me feeling more down than I did at devalmont's departure.
Firstly, there seems to be a large proportion of break ups. As a follow on from that, several people resolving to abstain from relationships. This, in itself, is admirable. You should not ever be with someone out of habit or uncertainty at what life would have in store for you without them. But it is never easy or pain free, no matter what the reasons. Closing yourself off to from a chance of happiness to save yourself pain is more than understandable, and in some cases essential to nurse and heal wounds. However, no-one ought to be alone. I hope you can take sollace in your friends and families.
Secondly, I read the journal of a lady who had died. Her partner has continued it, speaking with love and compassion at what I can only imagine must be an incredibly difficult time for him. I shan't put it here but sapphrine lead me to it. It's fragile and beautiful.
Thirdly, as a result of all of this, I remembered how lucky I am.
I have had, once more, a magical weekend. I have been incredibly selfish and self centred but for some quite strange reason this has not dissuaded my lover. We had a great time with his parents on Friday night, he painted my nails exquisitely and we attended SNFNGS followed by Eddies last night.
I'm sure those who saw him will remember him. Incidentally that is his stage outfit. Quite how I managed to leave his side for even a moment I don't know - I blame vodka. I introduced him to many of you (and he seemed to know most of you from some other place, gypsygoth and whiterrabbit specifically, or have mutual friends). After drunkedness and drooling at SNFNGS, huggirl kindly transported us to Eddies (a surprise, I hope Hannah enjoyed her evening!) where I lost my memory and paid little heed to my ridiculously gorgeous man.
My love, I'm sorry.
Of course, it was eventually time to leave and the incredibly kind v_lizzy transported us back to the Black Priory. Thank you!
Being carried to the car was definately the highlight of my evening, as silly as that sounds. On arrival I was able to make toast but wasn't able to think through making up beds. Many apologies, I'm a terrible hostess and friend especially when drunk. Nudge me in the direction of my spare duvet and sofa, I tend to forget I have it.
Today was largely spent smiling and being happy, eating bed picnics and watching Cecil B Demented. Fabulous film, I do recommend it. Only I didn't want to watch it at all. I just wanted to watch him. He's left for Cambridge again. I hate it when either of us has to leave and it was, due to the early arrival of a bus, a rather rushed goodbye. Which brings me back to now.
I looked at lj in a vain bid to perk myself up. It hasn't worked. But only because I realise how special my life is and how easily that can go wrong.
I really am so sorry there isn't more I can do or say to help most of you. Right now, I feel rather useless and guilty.
You seem to have such sweet and fond memories of me, have been so kind and caring towards me and so happy for me - I hope I can be happy for you too. Whether you choose to be single, married, have children, have several partners... I wish you could be ok. No, scrub that. I wish you could feel wonderful. You all deserve to.
Thank you, all of you, for being there. For being you.