(no subject)
Y'know, I keep coming here meaning to make a post, and then I get here and don't really have anything to write about. I feel like it should be something profound, or interesting. I feel like I should post some poetry or something. I guess I don't really have much to say.
A little over a week until I move. I can't wait. I want out so badly. Or rather, I want in to my own life so badly. It's gonna be stressful trying to pay rent and shit, but I know next summer is going to be amazing. I just can't wait. : )
Andrew and I had a talk about our relationship and some things that were bugging me. I found out that he really wants us to be together for the long-term, through school and even after if we can do it. That was really nice to hear. I'll be really happy when he gets his license and starts driving, though. I feel like I should've made him do it a year ago, but whatever. Maybe I've finally learned that letting things go is not always the answer. Like my friend Lea said, I deserve what I want, and I have to be brave to get it.
Here's something profound, I guess:
Is it possible to live life without regret? For instance, since I'm moving out of my (grand)parents' house and getting out on my own, it seems like other areas of my life should match. I should have a clean slate in dating, I should be able to go out on the weekends and enjoy myself at parties and have no ties - no regrets. That would require me to break up with Andrew, but I might regret doing so a couple months (or even weeks) later. I guess the question would be what's worth sacrificing - a free youth or a great relationship.
Even though I'm not about to break up with my boyfriend so I can go out and party, still. Regret is something you come to way after an action, right? How could you possibly know now, when making decisions, whether you're going to regret them or not in a couple of years? I think trying to live without regret is just going to make you regret more things. Maybe living life without letting fear get in the way of things is a better strategy. Makes sense to me.
I need to write more poetry. >.o
A little over a week until I move. I can't wait. I want out so badly. Or rather, I want in to my own life so badly. It's gonna be stressful trying to pay rent and shit, but I know next summer is going to be amazing. I just can't wait. : )
Andrew and I had a talk about our relationship and some things that were bugging me. I found out that he really wants us to be together for the long-term, through school and even after if we can do it. That was really nice to hear. I'll be really happy when he gets his license and starts driving, though. I feel like I should've made him do it a year ago, but whatever. Maybe I've finally learned that letting things go is not always the answer. Like my friend Lea said, I deserve what I want, and I have to be brave to get it.
Here's something profound, I guess:
Is it possible to live life without regret? For instance, since I'm moving out of my (grand)parents' house and getting out on my own, it seems like other areas of my life should match. I should have a clean slate in dating, I should be able to go out on the weekends and enjoy myself at parties and have no ties - no regrets. That would require me to break up with Andrew, but I might regret doing so a couple months (or even weeks) later. I guess the question would be what's worth sacrificing - a free youth or a great relationship.
Even though I'm not about to break up with my boyfriend so I can go out and party, still. Regret is something you come to way after an action, right? How could you possibly know now, when making decisions, whether you're going to regret them or not in a couple of years? I think trying to live without regret is just going to make you regret more things. Maybe living life without letting fear get in the way of things is a better strategy. Makes sense to me.
I need to write more poetry. >.o