(no subject)
it rained earlier, and continued while the drop in temperatures turned the wetness to ice. it crackles across pavement like a skittering live wire. i had to drive home in it. winter brings interesting, though familar, challenges around every corner.
today was beautiful in general.
at some point i began a new poster-project, and then (in the midst of caffeine overload, common) set to write a manifesto on the nature of art and why it's only the communication of art that can save this world.
in some ways it was an attempt to explain that, despite all the reputation for nihilism i have, i always feel ridiculously positive.
something that is hard to put into words, but i tried tonight, and after some revisions, may have succeeded. negativity, in my mental recycling bin, manages to become positive beliefs. since i am at prime manifesto-writin' age (23), i may as well try and apply my gut instincts to the fickle world of linguistics.
at the bar tonight, settling down for a brief respite from the ice storm, i requested a whiskey & coke to warm me up. but extra strong, i added, because i'll need it to combat the weather. water outside congealed into ice; the bartendress made it extra strong as asked, and it jolted me proper. standing against the wing of the bar, i felt like an image from an old sinatra album, recalling for a moment my extraneous battles with the embers of a relationship, as i stood alone licking salty wounds over unrequited love.
but naturally, the music in my head is far from sinatra's. it wouldn't fit the image. in fact, it's a given that the music i hum does not fit any romantic setting around me. but in my best moments, i drink it all in---the beautiful day in spite of the cold, the melancholia that rubs against the creative gushing, the imperfect settings for perfect mental stimuli. every situation can be broken down to severe contradictions, things which never fit, and are so jarring to my mind. things which, i realize during miniature epiphanies, transcend imperfection. in fact, some juxtapositions are, become, exist as, eternally, perfection. frozen in time and beyond time, inebriated, sad, flawed, in-the-moment and fun.
among all this, so many things i could write down but never will. i'm surprised i've written down so much as this, but, let one paragraph stand for a hundred unwritten.
also at the bar was shawn from catholic guilt, and later my old pal zeng, and it just so happened that tonight they were DJing. though not exactly to a crowd, not on a night like tonight. overjoyed still, i stuck around through a few drinks and listened to the music. tomorrow night there's supposed to be a show, which i'll be at. also, earlier tonight i got coffee with mistress lilith, who i see so little of these days, though hope to see again when time is courteous and allows it. she's doing alright.
today was beautiful in general.
at some point i began a new poster-project, and then (in the midst of caffeine overload, common) set to write a manifesto on the nature of art and why it's only the communication of art that can save this world.
in some ways it was an attempt to explain that, despite all the reputation for nihilism i have, i always feel ridiculously positive.
something that is hard to put into words, but i tried tonight, and after some revisions, may have succeeded. negativity, in my mental recycling bin, manages to become positive beliefs. since i am at prime manifesto-writin' age (23), i may as well try and apply my gut instincts to the fickle world of linguistics.
at the bar tonight, settling down for a brief respite from the ice storm, i requested a whiskey & coke to warm me up. but extra strong, i added, because i'll need it to combat the weather. water outside congealed into ice; the bartendress made it extra strong as asked, and it jolted me proper. standing against the wing of the bar, i felt like an image from an old sinatra album, recalling for a moment my extraneous battles with the embers of a relationship, as i stood alone licking salty wounds over unrequited love.
but naturally, the music in my head is far from sinatra's. it wouldn't fit the image. in fact, it's a given that the music i hum does not fit any romantic setting around me. but in my best moments, i drink it all in---the beautiful day in spite of the cold, the melancholia that rubs against the creative gushing, the imperfect settings for perfect mental stimuli. every situation can be broken down to severe contradictions, things which never fit, and are so jarring to my mind. things which, i realize during miniature epiphanies, transcend imperfection. in fact, some juxtapositions are, become, exist as, eternally, perfection. frozen in time and beyond time, inebriated, sad, flawed, in-the-moment and fun.
among all this, so many things i could write down but never will. i'm surprised i've written down so much as this, but, let one paragraph stand for a hundred unwritten.
also at the bar was shawn from catholic guilt, and later my old pal zeng, and it just so happened that tonight they were DJing. though not exactly to a crowd, not on a night like tonight. overjoyed still, i stuck around through a few drinks and listened to the music. tomorrow night there's supposed to be a show, which i'll be at. also, earlier tonight i got coffee with mistress lilith, who i see so little of these days, though hope to see again when time is courteous and allows it. she's doing alright.