(no subject)
I hate it when people say that unfortunate things can be for the better. Because it never is. Aaron's death hasn't made things better. But it's made me see things I never have before and it's made me see old things in a new way.
I was depressed and lonely today and I've been thinking about Aaron a lot lately. So I wrote this poem thingie....if you can even call it that. It's not that good...but that's not what matters.
Now when it all falls down, who'll be there to catch me?
Now that he's gone life seems so empty. It's all faded
to black and he's never coming back. I'll never see him
again. All I have are the memories and images of what
it might be. I sit alone with my fear and feel this
spear rip through my heart; while I watch my world
fall apart. From the start he was always there. Then
I was unaware of how much I needed him. I took it for
granted that he'd always be with me. I still can't see
why his time was cut so short. I miss him so much but
through the hurt I can see, I'm not supposed to let go
of something good when it's right here in front of me.
If I do it'll only be later that I'll realized what I've
missed.I still need him around, and though I'll never be
able to see him or hear him or feel him, he'll be with
me. He's gone but he still helps me. Now I'll take
this lesson he has given me and put it to good use.
I know I should and I know Aaron definately would.
I donno what's wrong with me. I have zero self confidence and that's what's keeping me from doing the thing[s] that could quite possibly make me ten times as happy. I don't want any of it to slip away.