we accept the love we think we deserve
Keep calm and drink tea..
October saw myself in ups and downs but it passed just like that.. Now it's on to November, my most anticipated month this year I must say! 2 more weeks to Bali with my baobei!! Hiakhiak. Not forgetting, deepavali at sri's, sri's sister's wedding and my cosy birthday party :) on the downside... I won't be working any shifts for the whole month! $$ where art thou?
anyway life has been alright, just spending time with my loved ones. reckon I should start dedicating more time for my studies though. it's the last year and I want to make it my grad year, by hook or by crook! 5 theory-based modules can really be quite taxing but I've got to do what I got to do right? pfft.
I'm staying true to my belief in letting go. It doesn't mean that I've given up, it just means that... I've stopped trying to force things to turn out the way I want them to. I'm letting nature take its course. What's yours is yours and vice versa. Nothing is going to change that fact.
I absolutely dislike seeing my dear friends cry and getting their heart broken.. It breaks my heart too and I really put myself in their shoes and think, what would I have done if it had happened to me? And most of the time, I could not come up with an answer. I guess it's really easy to give advice but when it really happens to me? I'm just stuck. I am always telling myself to not get affected by what I see and hear around me but sometimes my faith do waver and I too get scared. What if all good things really do come to an end? I think that is why when things get too good, I freak out and I find flaws in them..
Also, I've been having some issues with myself, picking out all my flaws like my round face, my height, my size, my complexion, my flat chest, my blur self, my lag-ness, my laziness, and the list really can go on forever. Was supposed to list down 20 attributes of ourselves during social psych class that day and I realized all that I've written down, were mostly my flaws. I don't even have anything nice to say about myself except.. I think I'm just a really nice person in general? Haha. How sad?!! And so I've been trying to tell myself that I am who I think I am!! Think positive thoughts! Hoyeah.
By the way, I really really like this quote "we accept the love we think we deserve" from the novel the perks of being a wallflower. It's so simple yet straight to the point. It helps me understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling at times. &&& I loved the movie too! :)
Well, just persevere and we are going to succeed in this thing called LIFE. Cheers guys!!! xoxo
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