Spring Awakening, Cake, Bonking, Love, Animals, Anniversary
Oh my God, I have the next two days (bar the evenings) completely FREE. So so good.
RADA: Our play, Spring Awakening, went very well. Had amorphous feedback until during the debrief, the director turned to me and said, "You were very good". Bit tactless, saying it just to me but it felt great! Amazing seeing friends act, in a way we've never seen before, in full costume, full character etc This term has been hard. Learning speeches, presentations and rehearsals. I think the social circles have narrowed a little bit- like my friend Jordan has been got at because he was clearly the director's favourite but they all saw him as overly confident when he's just riddled with insecurity.
Lol; this was a weird rehearsal; one of my characters comes from an abusive homelife so the director got two of my friends to be my parents and basically abuse me. Pull my hair, scream at me. Until I was hysterically crying and ran out the room, the director chasing after me. He had to bodily drag me back into the room, me shouting, "Please leave me alone! Leave me alone!" Drama school is WEIRD.
WORK: Getting obsessed with finding a job. Selling stuff on eBay. Written to a summer camp, to my local theatre. But what I want more than anything is to work in a cake shop over summer. That would be bliss. Bless him, Alex likes the idea of it more than me. "You'd be so good at it. I love the idea of them finding you with tell-tale crumbs round your mouth. Bit of cream on your nose."
MAN: Went up to see The Country Wife this weekend, and besides the dodgy script and dodgy acting, it was good! Man was magic as always. So energetic and (don't laugh) incredibly sexy. We stayed in a B&B so I was able to sleep off the mad Spring Awakening production week and Man got the rugby, haha.
Lately, the whole love thing has been getting out of hand. The only way I can describe it accurately is this: he is the best person in the whole wide world, so what the fuck is he doing with me? Very strange watching him screw 4 different women onstage (he got his arse out for the benefit of Henley audiences, which got much applause) but he was so reassuring about it. "Please don't get upset about all the bonking," he said before going to get ready, "I'd much prefer if it was with you!" But I pad around my flat some evenings, just crying because I don't know what to do with all this love filling me up.
FUTURE: Doing a speech from Henry V on Thursday. Next term, we have our animal projects. We have to study and be animals- we get 5 month free zoo passes! Want to be a Spring Hare but I think they're only kept in the US and Asia. I could be my dog, lol. Got to see her briefly this weekend, missed her so much. Audition for The Seagull in a couple of weeks, arg! Seeing loads of plays. Man's written and putting on a play in Henley at the end of April...then doing Twelfth Night....then directing a play in Marlborough. He doesn't stop!
This week is feedback week at RADA so I get to find out what my teachers think of me...I know precisely what they're going to say. "Let go! Be more free! Experiment more, don't worry about getting it right!" But quite excited to hear what the director thought of me in Spring Awakening after his one sideways comment about me being good.
One year anniversary in a week. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.