(no subject)
an extra-long weekend with ry leaves me feeling like i can't possibly tie myself down to the library for the afternoon. unmotivated! wishing i could be back in bed, watching james bond movie, getting high, eating take-out and mussing up the sheets.
last night i had a string of overwhelming moments, we went out for a pizza & pitchers and stumbled home to be silly. started watching wedding proposals on youtube - lots of cute ones involving proposals painted on walls, little surprises, and crying-happy girls - i have trouble imagining ryan down on one knee, saying romantic and silly, sappy things that don't seem to represent either of us. i hope that if, or when, it does happen sometime it will be quiet and about us. even so, the one with the painted wall was so sweet and sappy that it got me tearing up.
i've been spending a lot of time in the library, working on a film paper due thursday. listening to lykke li's youth novel - download! - and trying to imagine the future. august and beyond! i can't imagine a life that requires me to get outside of my own head, i've been appreciating this extra year to get paid to serve the department and think and read constantly. to meet new and interesting people and spend nights in the grad pub, talking theory and smack about professors. we are sixteen, so like-minded and so different and it all adds up. i wish sometimes i had started the application process - a good distraction - to be thinking PhD instead of what's next?
i want a tiny income and an apartment with my lover, lots of plants and a coffee-maker we can call our own. everything else is just a little bit of a grey area.
last night i had a string of overwhelming moments, we went out for a pizza & pitchers and stumbled home to be silly. started watching wedding proposals on youtube - lots of cute ones involving proposals painted on walls, little surprises, and crying-happy girls - i have trouble imagining ryan down on one knee, saying romantic and silly, sappy things that don't seem to represent either of us. i hope that if, or when, it does happen sometime it will be quiet and about us. even so, the one with the painted wall was so sweet and sappy that it got me tearing up.
i've been spending a lot of time in the library, working on a film paper due thursday. listening to lykke li's youth novel - download! - and trying to imagine the future. august and beyond! i can't imagine a life that requires me to get outside of my own head, i've been appreciating this extra year to get paid to serve the department and think and read constantly. to meet new and interesting people and spend nights in the grad pub, talking theory and smack about professors. we are sixteen, so like-minded and so different and it all adds up. i wish sometimes i had started the application process - a good distraction - to be thinking PhD instead of what's next?
i want a tiny income and an apartment with my lover, lots of plants and a coffee-maker we can call our own. everything else is just a little bit of a grey area.