You need a Burning Man Bike
Beach Cruiser
Originally uploaded by Richard Lotz. I've had this bike sitting in pieces for years, I finally decided to assemble it. It's heavy, has a stiff bottom bracket, and not that nimble. Its a good bike for going slow. Its a perfect bike for the playa. If you are going to burning man and need a bike to abuse this this is the bike for you.
Even better, the bike can be yours for the low price of 6 pack of beer or bottle of wine shared on my deck.