(no subject)
Why is it that when I’m happy I can never seem to write in this thing?
And in truth I have been happy, despite random financial freakouts, the freaking library never calling me back and my own rapidly shifting self-esteem. I’m still in love and as much as it still scares the bejesus outta me I am starting to stop looking for cracks and instead just accept that maybe this is not gonna end in some soul-wrenching and tragic Mexican standoff that leaves me an emotional cripple for another couple of years...not that those aren’t fun...wait, no they’re not! They’re terrible!!!
I found a new job! $3 more an hour than I am making now and full benefits...but it’s actually the same job I got when I first moved to Gainesville (Tech support at the cable company lol!) so it’s got me wondering what the hell I got that brilliantly useless english degree for anyways...le sigh...
The boy and I saw the most beautiful thing in the world a week or so back at the bar. These two old, long haired ACRs (Alachua County Residents...think rednecks but somewhat more tragic) were looking deep into one another’s eyes, their fingers interlaced as if they were playing mercy (maybe it feels like mercy...a love that is so palpable and yet so forbidden, it hurts me to even type it out!) I got a picture with my phone but it looks like the loch ness monster (the boy brings his freaking Polaroid to the bathroom but somehow forgot it that night!!! Arggghhhh!!!) so I can’t really share how beautiful it was but it was life-altering. I mean that.
No seriously.
I find comfort in the way that rednecks find a level of intimacy with one another when drunk that transcends sexuality...we should all be able to connect with one another on that level. The next time you see a dude with feathered hair in an air-brushed Dale Earnhart tribute t-shirt, pay attention. He could teach you a lot about the human condition.
Or something like that.
There’s more I could tell you. And I will. Maybe tomorrow...I need to pee.
Thank you and goodnight!
And in truth I have been happy, despite random financial freakouts, the freaking library never calling me back and my own rapidly shifting self-esteem. I’m still in love and as much as it still scares the bejesus outta me I am starting to stop looking for cracks and instead just accept that maybe this is not gonna end in some soul-wrenching and tragic Mexican standoff that leaves me an emotional cripple for another couple of years...not that those aren’t fun...wait, no they’re not! They’re terrible!!!
I found a new job! $3 more an hour than I am making now and full benefits...but it’s actually the same job I got when I first moved to Gainesville (Tech support at the cable company lol!) so it’s got me wondering what the hell I got that brilliantly useless english degree for anyways...le sigh...
The boy and I saw the most beautiful thing in the world a week or so back at the bar. These two old, long haired ACRs (Alachua County Residents...think rednecks but somewhat more tragic) were looking deep into one another’s eyes, their fingers interlaced as if they were playing mercy (maybe it feels like mercy...a love that is so palpable and yet so forbidden, it hurts me to even type it out!) I got a picture with my phone but it looks like the loch ness monster (the boy brings his freaking Polaroid to the bathroom but somehow forgot it that night!!! Arggghhhh!!!) so I can’t really share how beautiful it was but it was life-altering. I mean that.
No seriously.
I find comfort in the way that rednecks find a level of intimacy with one another when drunk that transcends sexuality...we should all be able to connect with one another on that level. The next time you see a dude with feathered hair in an air-brushed Dale Earnhart tribute t-shirt, pay attention. He could teach you a lot about the human condition.
Or something like that.
There’s more I could tell you. And I will. Maybe tomorrow...I need to pee.
Thank you and goodnight!