im smart enough to try
i am in a really bad state of mind at this exact moment.
today i woke up at 2 oclock, hungover.
itook adderall without eating.
i then wrote a research paper from 3pm to 2 am with small breaks every few hours.
i would ahve been done at 9 if my computer wouldnt have crashed as i put the period on the final word.
seriously.
HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN.
I write the final word, go to save it and word closes, i lose 7 of 9 pages instantly.
the way this made me feel is fairly indescribable.
i kinda screamed for a second, punched a wall and paced back and forth.
i was kinda shaking, almost crying.
ive never felt so enraged before i dont think.
anyway, i came back and rewrote the whole fucking thing and finished about 2 hours ago.
during this whole process, i got a call from moosejaw telling me they are full staffed and cant hire anyone.
which means i have no money or job until i find money or a job.
so at this point im pretty fucking sad in general.
then jamie calls me.
that was unnessesary at that time.
fucking christ that shit hurts.
i cant deal with that right now.
i need to go home and see you, yes YOU.
you will make it better.
i know you will.
chiyo and maybe emily are coming this weekend, i need that.
real bad.
im not depressed, im just very sad right now.
usually im really quite happy, but this weekend just kinda sucked, and today was just fucking awful.
ill write a song about or something.
fuck off.
not you though, you fuck me... just kidding
or am i?
was that out of line?
who knows anymore
goodbye.
today i woke up at 2 oclock, hungover.
itook adderall without eating.
i then wrote a research paper from 3pm to 2 am with small breaks every few hours.
i would ahve been done at 9 if my computer wouldnt have crashed as i put the period on the final word.
seriously.
HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN.
I write the final word, go to save it and word closes, i lose 7 of 9 pages instantly.
the way this made me feel is fairly indescribable.
i kinda screamed for a second, punched a wall and paced back and forth.
i was kinda shaking, almost crying.
ive never felt so enraged before i dont think.
anyway, i came back and rewrote the whole fucking thing and finished about 2 hours ago.
during this whole process, i got a call from moosejaw telling me they are full staffed and cant hire anyone.
which means i have no money or job until i find money or a job.
so at this point im pretty fucking sad in general.
then jamie calls me.
that was unnessesary at that time.
fucking christ that shit hurts.
i cant deal with that right now.
i need to go home and see you, yes YOU.
you will make it better.
i know you will.
chiyo and maybe emily are coming this weekend, i need that.
real bad.
im not depressed, im just very sad right now.
usually im really quite happy, but this weekend just kinda sucked, and today was just fucking awful.
ill write a song about or something.
fuck off.
not you though, you fuck me... just kidding
or am i?
was that out of line?
who knows anymore
goodbye.