Someones in the kitchen...cooking hearts over the stove
I feel lost and just confused. By everything and everyone and how things i've depended on are not only gone but have changed to a point where i don't recognize what i once knew. I don't like this year. One second i feel things are going good and i'm optimistic of whats to come, the next some string of bad news comes along and i realize that things will never be the same in so many ways. I don't like highschool, i miss that little jms middle school where i felt comfortable. I had fun last year, loads of fun. Yah i was a dork, and i still am, but i'm not ashamed about that in any way. This year isn't the same. I feel very much out of the loop, even with my friends. I still don't really know anyone and I don't see my friends enough throughout the day to make it fun. I feel so little to everyone, and not just because i'm short. Maybe i'm just overexaggerating, idk. I feel like everything and everyone is changing and constantly maturing and i just still feel the same as always. I'm still the liz who has lots of stuffed animals in her room and knows all their names, who likes to watch cartoon network on saturday mornings, who listens to backstreet boys or some other old band just for fun, who likes to nap, who laughs about everything, who could care less what she looks like, who doesen't where the latest fads to look "cool", who could care less what people think of her, who wants to be nice to people, who never wants to look down on anyone (unless they deserve it), who loves to hang out with friends, who gets excited over phone calls, who likes to make a fool out of herself, who dances like shes insane, who likes to be artisctic, who plays drums because deep down she would love to be a rockstar, who wants to make some sort of impact or difference,who isn't boring, who is a "DORK", i could go on forever with this. The point of this is that i am liz, and i think everyone should just start being completely honest and by honest i mean real. I'm not gonna put up with superficial people who feel that they're superior to everyone else, i mean they just look pathetic to me, because i am aware of their full potential. I'm just kind of dissapointed with people for different things. But then again i wonder if i just blame other people for things becuase i'm actually dissapointed with myself and where i am right now. I don't know. If i contradict myself in this entry its only cuz i'm confused and i haven't really settled my thoughts yet. I'm just very uncertain of everything lately, i really never know what to expect, but i guess in a way thats good.