christmas. bahhhhh humbug.
thank you, for this year, a collage full of pictures you made me, in my heart, and my dreams, thanks for the christmas you've given to me
that was the last year you came home, ill decorate change on a payphone, cause you took my stocking and i burned our tree, you fell in love and gave me nothing but reasons to hate winter seasons, breaking those promises ive left for leaving, ill send a card that says heres goodbye to you
ill forget you next year, im torching those pictures you gave me, and my heart, so broke it bleeds, thanks for the christmas you murdered for me
here lies our year, the headstone that you kindly made me, and your eyes, they'll never see, the season that you made and murdered for me. // a day at the fair. [here lies our holiday]
im really starting to get over it all. all the bullshit with the guys around here. im done dealing with n.'s shit. his constant lying & sketchiness just ins't what i need right now.. acutally i never need shit like that. however, i think my emotions are just mixed up in general these days. because for some reason b. is a totally new thing for me now, i keep skipping from guy to guy. trying to find one that best suits me. and i think the one i did find, is the one who things would least likely work with. figures, oh well. i guess it can't hurt to express my feelings. im happy that 2006 is almost over with. this has been hands down, THE WORST year for me thus far. not that i'll ever forget what i dealt with and the shit that went down, it'll finally be even more of my past. // friends have come and gone in the last year, but the old ones whove stuck with me and the new ones who are just starting to get to know me are amazing. and i thank them for dealing with my shit. i know im an asshole alot of the time. i know this new years will be better then the last. even though florida was fun and elle and i had a blast in the car & we really bonded over that time.. i do think i made a mistake in driving all the way down the east coast for some boy who just fucked me over anyways. oh well, you learn from your mistakes, i guess. i know i did. im done typing, but thank you to all of you who have made everything so worth it so far. i know it's only gonna get better from here. i love love love love you all. <3
I THINK WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR IS SOMEONE TO MAKE ME HAPPY.