hungry
okay so its super early this morning and i woke up for class today thinking "i can do this. i can pull this off." but now its not a matter of simply 'pulling it off.' if i was able to pull it off, i think i would be by now since its already week 5 and ive slept through one class, been sick for another, and straight up missed one back in week three. so lets look at what ive accomplished in typography 2 thus far. i have gone the past three weeks of class without being there for half of them. thats not very good. i know this feeling. this is the feeling i get when one of my classes starts to give way beneath me and becomes rationally "not so important." not only do i feel that this is an invalid argument on my behalf, but i really dont want to fail another class. so thats why im withdrawing.
also, i was searching and searching for an answer to whether this was the wrong decision or the right one. certain people that i trust a lot werent available to discuss this when i needed them because well its like 8am. but anyway i was typing the last paragraph when my mom instant messaged me. i havent gotten an IM from my mom since i was a freshman. she said she thought it would be a better way of getting a hold of me. haha now were talking. anyway i decided to present the idea to her. and she didnt have anything to say really besides "you know what you are capable of doing." and its not so much that im worried what others will think (oh hes lazy, its more than half way through the quarter and hes dropping the class NOW?) but its mostly what i will think of myself come next quarter. at least now i have this entry to look back on to see my reasoning/rationale and then i wont kick myself in the ass so hard. there was a time when i thought busy course loads were something you should strive for. i thought "hey, i can work 30-40 hours a week while taking 19 credits at 300, 400, and even 500 level courses." but you know what? its getting to the point where i just dont have the time to do the work that is required of me. and its not exactly like ive been living a frivolous social life either. so really, when i take all these classes and expect all this energy out of me, the only thing that gives way to all the stressful required time is the same thing i try to work hard for, which is good grades in all the classes that i have signed up for.
now if i have anything to be mad about, its that i failed typography 1 last quarter and that i took only 12 credits last spring. however, if i hadnt failed type 1 with bruce, i wouldnt be taking it again with lorrie freer, and i would have been stuck thinking that type (a vital element of graphic design) was supposed to be boring and mundane. and in the long run, i wouldnt be getting what i want out of my schooling, i would just be getting my degree.
sadly, the outcome of my decision to forgo the rest of the quarter in type 2, giving it the back burner until next fall will mean that there is a likelihood of me not having heinz. but for all of his efforts, i sometimes leave his class scratching my head in confusion (am i going to do this right?) but conclusively, regardless of my failed attempts at taking 19 credits this quarter, i think that i can afford to focus more on my other classes so that i wont be missing any more of those. if i leave (type 2) now i still have a chance for redemption.
also, i was searching and searching for an answer to whether this was the wrong decision or the right one. certain people that i trust a lot werent available to discuss this when i needed them because well its like 8am. but anyway i was typing the last paragraph when my mom instant messaged me. i havent gotten an IM from my mom since i was a freshman. she said she thought it would be a better way of getting a hold of me. haha now were talking. anyway i decided to present the idea to her. and she didnt have anything to say really besides "you know what you are capable of doing." and its not so much that im worried what others will think (oh hes lazy, its more than half way through the quarter and hes dropping the class NOW?) but its mostly what i will think of myself come next quarter. at least now i have this entry to look back on to see my reasoning/rationale and then i wont kick myself in the ass so hard. there was a time when i thought busy course loads were something you should strive for. i thought "hey, i can work 30-40 hours a week while taking 19 credits at 300, 400, and even 500 level courses." but you know what? its getting to the point where i just dont have the time to do the work that is required of me. and its not exactly like ive been living a frivolous social life either. so really, when i take all these classes and expect all this energy out of me, the only thing that gives way to all the stressful required time is the same thing i try to work hard for, which is good grades in all the classes that i have signed up for.
now if i have anything to be mad about, its that i failed typography 1 last quarter and that i took only 12 credits last spring. however, if i hadnt failed type 1 with bruce, i wouldnt be taking it again with lorrie freer, and i would have been stuck thinking that type (a vital element of graphic design) was supposed to be boring and mundane. and in the long run, i wouldnt be getting what i want out of my schooling, i would just be getting my degree.
sadly, the outcome of my decision to forgo the rest of the quarter in type 2, giving it the back burner until next fall will mean that there is a likelihood of me not having heinz. but for all of his efforts, i sometimes leave his class scratching my head in confusion (am i going to do this right?) but conclusively, regardless of my failed attempts at taking 19 credits this quarter, i think that i can afford to focus more on my other classes so that i wont be missing any more of those. if i leave (type 2) now i still have a chance for redemption.