S. Waters - R. Zanibbi
finally, my point has been made. i shine with victory.
im pretty hungry right now. its early, still. i think im going to grab PitaPit for lunch today. kristin is home. i think i want to call caitlin again. she doesnt return my calls. must be she hates me. lets see if i can annoy her more by calling when its clearly undesired. i want rows.
oh yeah, my sister left here yesterday and i didnt even know it. and my niece needs a serious attitude adjustment. though she is only one, she is quite the brat. and shes EXTREMELY spoiled. however, when you lay her down for bed, she does this little thing to rock herself to sleep. she lays on her stomach and moves her butt from side to side and sucks her thumb. its so cute. my mom called me into her room last night just to watch her sleep. my mom is such a cute grandma.
when i got back from Mac's last night i scared her bc i came in the back door. i dont know why my mom was still awake, because shes usually in bed by like 10. anyway, she called me a sneaky burglar for coming in the back. then my mom told me that she was going to miss me when i move out. i told her she is right, she will miss me. this is what happens when my stepdad isnt around. thats like the only time she feels like she can show me that she loves me. its lame. im sorry, but that is her own fault. i dare not say anything, because it will become an issue with her and jim, my stepdad. and i just dont have the energy to deal with another "were getting divorced" escapade. i have been in that house for more than two years and seldom does mom ever act like my presence is something that she appreciates. i would love to do lunch with my mom and be chatty and whatnot, but i think that sort of relationship will have to wait until after i leave this house because my stepdad has this oedipus complex anxiety or something and he gets jealous when me and my mom hang out. that is like the ONE thing about him that i hate. anything else about him is trivial to me because he is not my husband and i dont need another dad. it would be nice to be friends with my stepdad, but i know that is NEVER going to happen; hes not that kind of person. and so i dont really care about anything else about him because i clearly dont have to deal with him in any other way besides he is married to my mom and she loves him. again, i blame him and my mom for that. when you remarry someone, you should take into account your children's lives. and i feel like they werent. whatever it was like 13 years ago? okay mayb 12. im over it.
so my sister bought her house yesterday. nothnagle. 21 San Mateo. understand that this would be a fine location to live if it werent for its proximity. it lies less than 1 mile from the house that i live in now. it is not an issue for myself, but it is for her and my mom. i think she is making the biggest mistake ever. but i keep my mouth shut once more because if it doesnt matter to me, then why would i bring it up? my family will never be functional. there will always be problems. stemming back to the previous opinions about my stepfather, i feel like that will be a major issue in my sister's new life back in Rochester. not to mention, my mom and sister have a love-hate relationship. **(i just tried typing this and asking the guy who walked into the office if i could help him and then i said "i think hes in with someone right now right now")** hmmph, this transition is going to cause drama and stress. my mom and stepdad's marriage has already resulted in the divergence of his and his daughter's relationship. it can be done to any of us. maybe i will email my mom and tell her about my worries. any suggestions? amy, in specific. you know my mom. is it worth it?
ugh 10:20. i think im going to go eat an ice cream bar. and maybe have some more coffee. i havent had an actual meal in i dont know how long. that is sad.
i like this new Xtina Aguillera song. also, i wish i had free time to dance. seeing things like "so you think you can dance" make me sad. i know i can dance. i might be out of practice, but i know i can do it. i know people think that im crazy when i say that, too. whatever.
oh sweet i get new glasses tonight. i wonder what i will get. i should go early just to look at all the frames. i need to pay my car insurance. im like 2 months over due. they are threttenig to cancel my policy. i hate that i put things off because if i put stuff off then they dont exist. if they dont exist then i dont worry about them. its simple to pay car insurance, but i dont like giving all my money away. trust me, i have good reasons for what you might call bad decisions. the fact is, tho, i dont have any good reason to come up with these obscure, yet justified, rationalizations. they are just that; rationalizations.
okay my eyes need to stop burning. maybe ill have some more coffee.
im pretty hungry right now. its early, still. i think im going to grab PitaPit for lunch today. kristin is home. i think i want to call caitlin again. she doesnt return my calls. must be she hates me. lets see if i can annoy her more by calling when its clearly undesired. i want rows.
oh yeah, my sister left here yesterday and i didnt even know it. and my niece needs a serious attitude adjustment. though she is only one, she is quite the brat. and shes EXTREMELY spoiled. however, when you lay her down for bed, she does this little thing to rock herself to sleep. she lays on her stomach and moves her butt from side to side and sucks her thumb. its so cute. my mom called me into her room last night just to watch her sleep. my mom is such a cute grandma.
when i got back from Mac's last night i scared her bc i came in the back door. i dont know why my mom was still awake, because shes usually in bed by like 10. anyway, she called me a sneaky burglar for coming in the back. then my mom told me that she was going to miss me when i move out. i told her she is right, she will miss me. this is what happens when my stepdad isnt around. thats like the only time she feels like she can show me that she loves me. its lame. im sorry, but that is her own fault. i dare not say anything, because it will become an issue with her and jim, my stepdad. and i just dont have the energy to deal with another "were getting divorced" escapade. i have been in that house for more than two years and seldom does mom ever act like my presence is something that she appreciates. i would love to do lunch with my mom and be chatty and whatnot, but i think that sort of relationship will have to wait until after i leave this house because my stepdad has this oedipus complex anxiety or something and he gets jealous when me and my mom hang out. that is like the ONE thing about him that i hate. anything else about him is trivial to me because he is not my husband and i dont need another dad. it would be nice to be friends with my stepdad, but i know that is NEVER going to happen; hes not that kind of person. and so i dont really care about anything else about him because i clearly dont have to deal with him in any other way besides he is married to my mom and she loves him. again, i blame him and my mom for that. when you remarry someone, you should take into account your children's lives. and i feel like they werent. whatever it was like 13 years ago? okay mayb 12. im over it.
so my sister bought her house yesterday. nothnagle. 21 San Mateo. understand that this would be a fine location to live if it werent for its proximity. it lies less than 1 mile from the house that i live in now. it is not an issue for myself, but it is for her and my mom. i think she is making the biggest mistake ever. but i keep my mouth shut once more because if it doesnt matter to me, then why would i bring it up? my family will never be functional. there will always be problems. stemming back to the previous opinions about my stepfather, i feel like that will be a major issue in my sister's new life back in Rochester. not to mention, my mom and sister have a love-hate relationship. **(i just tried typing this and asking the guy who walked into the office if i could help him and then i said "i think hes in with someone right now right now")** hmmph, this transition is going to cause drama and stress. my mom and stepdad's marriage has already resulted in the divergence of his and his daughter's relationship. it can be done to any of us. maybe i will email my mom and tell her about my worries. any suggestions? amy, in specific. you know my mom. is it worth it?
ugh 10:20. i think im going to go eat an ice cream bar. and maybe have some more coffee. i havent had an actual meal in i dont know how long. that is sad.
i like this new Xtina Aguillera song. also, i wish i had free time to dance. seeing things like "so you think you can dance" make me sad. i know i can dance. i might be out of practice, but i know i can do it. i know people think that im crazy when i say that, too. whatever.
oh sweet i get new glasses tonight. i wonder what i will get. i should go early just to look at all the frames. i need to pay my car insurance. im like 2 months over due. they are threttenig to cancel my policy. i hate that i put things off because if i put stuff off then they dont exist. if they dont exist then i dont worry about them. its simple to pay car insurance, but i dont like giving all my money away. trust me, i have good reasons for what you might call bad decisions. the fact is, tho, i dont have any good reason to come up with these obscure, yet justified, rationalizations. they are just that; rationalizations.
okay my eyes need to stop burning. maybe ill have some more coffee.