(no subject)

[eat_chocolate]

Ok I've been suppressing these feelings for quite a long time, but I don't think I can contain them any longer. I am mad and disappointed that you misled me. I thought things were going great. We were happy together. I was a considerate, sensitive person who gave you space, yet showed you my affections when needed. We had respect for each other, each other's aspirations, everything. We always had something to talk about, nothing we ever talked about was dull or boring. We would make each other laugh and smile. We got along well and that was that. Or maybe that was what I thought. Part of me wants to be in denial, that Nah, he was just someone who sauntered into my life and left like nothing magical or extraordinary happened between us. I have believed that for a very long time, being in denial where you're not affected by the change of events is a sign of strength, that you weren't given into the emotions or the rollercoaster ride of a relationship. But I now believe it's a weakness. Break that hard, forced surface and you have something that's real, more stronger, no matter how seemingly vulnerable it is. Acceptance. Yes, he did change my life in a positive way and he left, just like that. It wasn't meant to be, and I am saddened by the choice he made and HOW he made it.

It's very hard for me not to scream obscenities at you and call you dumb, a dirty pig bastard, loser poop face, (insert a slew of expletives), because it's not right. It's not me. I'm wouldn't compromise my values to stoop that low to express the anger and frustration I have.

I guess what I really want to say is that someday think about the actions you've made and what you really missed out in the end.