Fake Name Disease
Recently, I was at a party -- teeming with gay men-- when the host introduced me to some of the other guests. One of them was a guy, Dave, that I have known for a couple of years, whom I've seen at the clubs and the gym. The host didn't know we knew each other and introduced us. I was about to say "Oh I know Dave" when I realised that the host had not said the name "Dave" but another completely different name. The guy in question looked embarrassed and made a quick escape and avoided me for the rest of the evening. I asked the host later and he confirmed that the guy's name was definitely not "Dave" and that he had never been known by that name. I realised that it was the latest encounter with that bizarre yet seemingly common and uniquely Singaporean gay disease - Fakenameitis.
Over the years I've been in Singapore, I've run into some five or six individuals who have used false names throughout the time I know them. I only find out their real names when I meet their other friends and acquaintances, who look bewildered when I address the person by their fake name, or when I ask where "Dave" or "Kenneth" or "Gene" is, only to be met with a "Who's Dave/Kenneth/Gene?" One guy admitted that he used fake names when meeting gay people and so when someone calls and asks for "Kenneth" he will know it's someone he met from the "gay world," and he can then act accordingly. But others don't make such a clear distinction and use their fake names for different gay people based on reasons that escape me. Are they superheroes that I have unwittingly seen changing out of their costumes and so they need a secret identity? Or are they simply victims of multiple personality disorder?
The "Gene" in question for example carried on with his fake name charade for a very long time, and must have gone through great pains to prevent some others and me who knew him from finding out his real name. At the gym I would address him as Gene and we would chat away about his SQ flights, his blossoming relationship with the passenger he met on a flight who lives in California, and so on. And I would introduce him to people I knew as "Gene" and they would start calling him by that name. It was only after I heard someone calling him by another name that I started to wonder if poor "Gene" was another victim of Fakenameitis. I decided to ask one of "Gene" other friends about it, by pretending to be embarrassed that I'd forgotten "Gene's" name. The friend hesitated at first and then told me that he knew "Gene" as "Marcus" but that Gene/Marcus also had another name, which some this friend had heard others calling him by. He said he wasn't sure why Gene/Marcus had three names, but he always just called him "Marcus." I wondered if that person had been given the real name or had I? Or was it the third name that was real?
I still see "Dave" from the party and make it a point to wave and loudly call out "hello Dave!" especially when he's with his friends, who then look startled and invariably ask him why that guy called you Dave. Let him explain it as many times as I have wondered on the reasoning behind this strange syndrome.
In all the years I loved in NYC, where quirky personalities and idiosyncrasies abound, I've never run into a single case of Fakenameitis, yet have encountered a disturbingly high number of them in Singapore. Is it a consequence of having to hide some part of your life or personality of which you are ashamed? If so I can see why it's a prevalent phenomenon in Singapore, where conformity is celebrated and the nails that stand out are quickly hammered down. Are some of these guys so deeply in the closet that they have created separate rooms in that closet, each where they exist as a different persona? How do they keep track of whom knows them by which name, and do they even have different personalities and life stories for each separate name? It boggles the mind. Isn't life complicated enough as a single soul, without having to resort to creating multiple new people to inhabit one body?
Over the years I've been in Singapore, I've run into some five or six individuals who have used false names throughout the time I know them. I only find out their real names when I meet their other friends and acquaintances, who look bewildered when I address the person by their fake name, or when I ask where "Dave" or "Kenneth" or "Gene" is, only to be met with a "Who's Dave/Kenneth/Gene?" One guy admitted that he used fake names when meeting gay people and so when someone calls and asks for "Kenneth" he will know it's someone he met from the "gay world," and he can then act accordingly. But others don't make such a clear distinction and use their fake names for different gay people based on reasons that escape me. Are they superheroes that I have unwittingly seen changing out of their costumes and so they need a secret identity? Or are they simply victims of multiple personality disorder?
The "Gene" in question for example carried on with his fake name charade for a very long time, and must have gone through great pains to prevent some others and me who knew him from finding out his real name. At the gym I would address him as Gene and we would chat away about his SQ flights, his blossoming relationship with the passenger he met on a flight who lives in California, and so on. And I would introduce him to people I knew as "Gene" and they would start calling him by that name. It was only after I heard someone calling him by another name that I started to wonder if poor "Gene" was another victim of Fakenameitis. I decided to ask one of "Gene" other friends about it, by pretending to be embarrassed that I'd forgotten "Gene's" name. The friend hesitated at first and then told me that he knew "Gene" as "Marcus" but that Gene/Marcus also had another name, which some this friend had heard others calling him by. He said he wasn't sure why Gene/Marcus had three names, but he always just called him "Marcus." I wondered if that person had been given the real name or had I? Or was it the third name that was real?
I still see "Dave" from the party and make it a point to wave and loudly call out "hello Dave!" especially when he's with his friends, who then look startled and invariably ask him why that guy called you Dave. Let him explain it as many times as I have wondered on the reasoning behind this strange syndrome.
In all the years I loved in NYC, where quirky personalities and idiosyncrasies abound, I've never run into a single case of Fakenameitis, yet have encountered a disturbingly high number of them in Singapore. Is it a consequence of having to hide some part of your life or personality of which you are ashamed? If so I can see why it's a prevalent phenomenon in Singapore, where conformity is celebrated and the nails that stand out are quickly hammered down. Are some of these guys so deeply in the closet that they have created separate rooms in that closet, each where they exist as a different persona? How do they keep track of whom knows them by which name, and do they even have different personalities and life stories for each separate name? It boggles the mind. Isn't life complicated enough as a single soul, without having to resort to creating multiple new people to inhabit one body?