IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

[eastmusiclove]

why should i fall in love or desire someone/something if I know i cannot touch, feel, experience but for an ephemeral moment. i have developed this ability to move, change, find a new interest when the one i wanted previously goes away. but i'm so tired of running, i don't want to run away from what seems out of reach, i want to reach and strive. i want to be one of those people who goes and gets what they wants, AND keeps it. i guess a lot of the time i get what i want, but i don't keep it for long, like a game, a passtime. i start projects and never finish, i start reading books and lose interest. i want to want something so badly, so deeply that it doesn't disappear after it is gone. i want to fall in love and if that inevitably means getting my heart broken, then let it be so. i want to lose control of my emotions and inhibitions.

i want to stop thinking so much, make me stop thinking so much! and i'm sorry that i've just rambled on about something so personal.

STOP THINKING!!!

STOP IT!

Stop!

Go.