(no subject)
Being married is difficult. It's wonderful and brilliant but very difficult. It is so new. It's is strange to have to meld completely with another person. Nothing is your own anymore. Your money, your time, your food, your body -- it is all his as much as it's mine. Its getting easier as the months pass but I find myself frightened sometimes by what I think his reaction will be to some of my actions... and yet he always responds with patience and gentle rebuke when I am in the wrong. He never raises his voice. I am blessed. We are becoming one. I love that we waited to have sex. These past months have been hilarious learning each other's bodies. He's beautifully and wonderfully made. I smile at the intimacy of him looking me over and being shocked at my makeup - the innocence and curiosity mixed with a strong desire makes me want him all the more. Honestly? We still fall into giggling fits after our sack sessions... it's the best! He's the best... whoever said they were worried that the sex might be bad... psh... you don't even know! We're growing with Jesus too - struggling to find our place in the world of Christian systematics and trying to get away from our fear of man issues. Slowly but surely we're getting our footing and making amends with the people who have deeply hurt us and whom we have hurt. This entry sounds so deep... why the hell do I write this way on here? I think its because its almost 1:30 am and I'm sitting on my balcony listening to those bugs that chirp like crazy and they make me nostalgic... anyways! Wedding photos are on facebook... going to bed =)