Circus Arcana PART SIX

[eviltwin]

PART SIX


The North was cooler, Jared thought. When he performed, the air around him didn’t seem quite so stifling. There were agents up here, too, but they were fewer in number. That was just as Jensen had told him it would be, and the presence he had felt back in the Old Town seemed to be a distant memory.

Other things stayed the same, however. Their show was quiet on the first night, but on the second night, once word had gotten round, they sold out. Chris and Gabe still tried to get Jared to come out with them, to ‘get him into trouble’, as Jensen put it, and Jared still said no. He and Jensen still stayed up late talking about both of their worlds, their pasts - as much as they remembered of them - and Jared still tried to figure out what had brought him here. It was a mystery that all of them wanted to solve. Jared was a puzzle to most of them and he was glad that the fact of that drew them closer to him rather than drove them away.

They stayed in that first town for four nights, then Jared heard that they were moving on, across to a more populated area where they would set up for an entire week. The Big Top was fully mended now, better than any other they’d had, and when they set up in the new place Jared caught Jensen standing in the center of the ring, looking around proudly. He approached him quietly, taking him by surprise when he reached him and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist from behind. Jensen gasped, and then leaned back against him when Jared kissed the side of his face.

“Tell me we’re alone,” he said, turning to face Jared.

“We are.”

“Good.” Jensen reached up and touched Jared’s face, urging him down so that he could kiss him a little more thoroughly. Again, Jared’s skin began to grow warmer, until the heat of it stole Jensen’s breath and made him gasp. He pulled away reluctantly, letting go, and Jared’s gaze fell to the floor. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’ll get better.”

“Is that why you stopped? Before?”

He nodded in answer. “I can handle it right now, but I know that if we…Well, it would get worse.”

“Let me see,” Jensen instructed, and Jared didn’t hesitate. He unbuttoned his shirt and pushed one side of it across, showing off the marked skin of his shoulder. The tattoo seemed raised up, more than usual, and when Jensen touched his fingers to it, it scalded him. He quickly jerked back and shoved his fingers into his mouth, trying to soothe them with his tongue.

“Oh, that made it so much better,” Jared told him, watching him again.

Guiltily, Jensen stopped what he was doing. Jared only looked amused, though, and he smiled as he apologized. They both moved closer together once more and Jensen lifted a hand to comb his fingers through Jared’s hair.

“I need to know the moment you figure out how to kiss me without burning up,” he said.

“Understood.”

After the show that night, after the carnival had shut down and the midway folk were asleep in their trailers, Jensen gathered his performers in the Big Top and offered them all some wine. A toast, he proclaimed, to their little family. One that Jared was now a part of.

“Hear, hear,” said Sebastian.

“Oh, really?” Chris interrupted. “Way I saw things earlier, Jared’s a little more than family, ain’t he?” The words were said with no malice, only mischief, and he winked at Jared before turning his smirk on Jensen.

“What?”

“I didn’t see you, exactly. But I saw. Jared here got so worked up he forgot all about his defences. Left himself open.” At the look on Jared’s face, Chris gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I didn’t look that hard. It was just kind of difficult to ignore as I walked past. Congratulations, though. I mean that sincerely and from the bottom of my heart.”

Jared laughed at that, punched Chris softly in the chest. “You’re an ass,” he said. Then he looked over at Jensen, who was worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Jensen thought about his answer, long enough that Jared didn’t know if he shared all that was on his mind. But he nodded and said, “I am if everybody else is.” He looked around at them all, his colleagues, his friends, and, one by one, they all nodded to him.

It was Sebastian who spoke, answering for all of them. “It was an accident that Jared happened upon us that first time. But it was something else that drew the pair of you back together again. You don’t fight something that’s impossible to defeat.”

“Well said,” Chris told him, nudging him and lifting his glass. “To fate and good fortune. Especially the good fortune.”

They drank for an hour or two, and Jared showed off a few of his tricks for them all. New things he wanted to try, maybe even to add to the act. Chris challenged Sebastian to a knife-throwing contest which he accepted, although it ended with them wrestling on the sandy floor of the circus ring. Finally, happy and slightly tipsy, they all headed off to their trailers for bed. Chris muttered something on his way past Jared that made him blush, but he didn’t say anything back. He was far too tired for that.

Feeling relaxed and fuzzy around the edges, Jared stumbled into the trailer after Jensen and got a hold of him before he could even take his boots off. Jensen turned in his arms, smiled into the kiss he was given, then put a hand on Jared’s chest and gently pushed him away.

“You’re drunk,” he said.

“I am. For the first time in my life.”

Jensen laughed. “The first time? Really?”

“You’re a bad influence on me, what can I say?”

“Do you like it?”

“I like how it makes me feel,” Jared told him, nodding. “Feel loose and…far away. Like the world can’t touch me.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Jared reached for Jensen again, but Jensen again pushed him back. “Perhaps next time,” he said. “After earlier, I don’t-”

“It’s okay,” Jared told him, understanding. “You were right. When I can control it more, maybe we can…” He trailed off, not wanting to say anymore.

“We can,” Jensen said. “Definitely we can do that.” There was nothing he wanted more in that moment.

On their third night there, Jensen came down with a mild fever. Something in the air around here, he said. The nearby town was highly industrial and smoke billowed from tall chimneys that poked up from the clusters of buildings like pointing fingers. It was the pollution of the North, he said. Something different that they manufactured up here as opposed to the more southern cities. Sebastian took over ring-master duties that night, and Jared hurried through his performance as he fretted about Jensen’s health.

He went straight to him when he was done; found him laid in bed with a damp cloth on his head, the covers kicked away from his body. Jensen turned to look at Jared when he came in and gave him a weak smile.

“I thought I’d try your trick,” he said.

“That’s not funny.” Jared knelt down by the bed, folded his hand around Jensen’s. His skin was hot to the touch, and Jared leaned over and kissed where he could reach. He stayed where he was, watching Jensen’s chest move up and down. “Does it get better?” he asked, after a while. “You’ve suffered from this before, haven’t you?”

“It gets better. Is the show over?”

“Almost. Chris was just going on when I left. I didn’t wait around to see the rest of it.”

“You could have. You know I’ll be fine.”

There was a knock at the trailer door then and Chris stuck his head in and looked at both of them. “Jared, me and Gabe are going to head to the local inn for a few drinks and some food. Do you want to come?”

Jared looked to Jensen, biting at his lip. Jensen only nodded.

“Go. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Chris? Take care of him, would you? Don’t do anything stupid and if you see any agents hanging around then come back home. And please, for my sake, keep a low profile.”

“We will,” Jared told him. He got up slowly, then leaned over Jensen and kissed the side of his head.

“And Chris?” Jensen called out, just as they were outside. “Don’t let him get too drunk, okay?”

“What part of ‘keep a low profile’ do you not understand?” Jensen was angry, and understandably so, as Chris and Gabe returned from the local watering hole with Jared in tow. The three of them were mildly drunk, but at least they were upright. They were singing loudly, though, and Jared had a wad of money clutched in one hand. “Where is that from?” Jensen asked, as Chris shoved Jared into the trailer first. Jared collapsed onto one of the seats and dropped the money onto the table.

“We put on a show,” he said, smiling dopily. “And Chris collected the money.”

“You put on a show?” Jensen was incredulous. He’d trusted Jared to go out and not draw attention. Even in this northernmost part of the country, where the agents were far fewer in number, they had to be careful. Chris had told them both that Jared had allowed his mind to open up earlier, and Jensen had been worrying ever since that Chris hadn’t been the only one to see them. But he had trusted Chris to look after him, too unwell to join them and not wanting to spoil Jared’s night. He had insisted they go, and he thought they’d heard his warnings. Apparently they had paid no attention to them.

Then Jared’s hand was on his arm and he found himself being pulled down onto the seat beside the young man. Jared leaned over and touched his nose to Jensen’s.

“Will you relax?” he said. His eyes were cloudy, the spark in them dimmed by alcohol. “We didn’t get in any trouble. Nobody came out to see what we were doing. It’s fine.”

“Chris, I told you not to let him get drunk. He’s drunk.”

“I am. But I’m right. Don’t worry so much, Jensen. You’ll get wrinkles.” Jared moved his head just enough then that his lips touched against Jensen’s mouth. Jensen vaguely heard Chris and Gabe making their excuses and he heard the door closing behind them as they left. The trailer seemed quiet and much smaller than it had a moment ago, Jensen thought. Everybody else was still out celebrating. He and Jared were the only ones here, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe as the temperature continued to rise.

“Jared,” he mumbled, the word muffled by Jared’s mouth.

“It’s okay. We’re okay,” Jared told him, and resumed kissing him.

Jensen wasn’t even sure what he meant by that anymore, but by then he was past caring. Every inch of Jared was pure warmth, inside and out, and his tongue was slick as it pushed against the roof of Jensen’s mouth. He wanted to remind Jared that he wasn’t very well, and that he really didn’t need his star act catching whatever ailment it was that afflicted him, but he couldn’t think, let alone speak. Everything had been building to this moment, it seemed. Every stolen glance, every lingering touch, every conversation late at night that went on and on until morning light, or until one of them fell asleep.

“Your skin feels cooler,” Jared told him, when he pulled away to breathe. His cheeks were flushed, and his cap had been pushed back, so that his hair fell loose around his ears. Jensen reached up and tugged off the ridiculous hat - Jared’s only attempt at a disguise when he ventured outside the carnival. “Are you recovering?”

“I think maybe you’re making me feel better,” Jensen agreed, with a small smile.

“I could do more,” Jared suggested. His eyes closed when Jensen’s hand slid around to the back of his neck, when his fingers tugged at the shorter hairs on his nape. “I…I might have told Sebastian to keep the others out tonight. I want some time with you.”

“Oh, do you?”

Jared nodded. He looked so innocent in that moment that Jensen couldn’t help but be amused. Jared let Jensen yank him closer, and he opened his mouth as Jensen kissed him fiercely. Jensen’s hand curled into a fist at the back of Jared’s head, strands of soft hair wound around his fingers.

He pulled back just as suddenly, out of breath again. Jared’s heat seemed to suck all the air from a room, and Jensen was only just starting to get used to that.

“We should make love,” he said, his fingers straightening out and then curving around the back of Jared’s head again. “Because I do love you, you know.”

Jared nodded slowly, reached his hand up to mirror Jensen’s grip on him. “I know.”

“And every day I thank whatever brought you here. You’ve changed everything, Jared. The night we met… I’d lost everything. I was ready to give up.”

Again, Jared nodded. Jensen had told him this before, although he had never been as sober and lucid as now when he had.

“I love you, too,” Jared said, and it was the truth. He’d not said it before, but now seemed to be the right time. He felt the familiar stinging in his shoulder as the marks there started to burn from within. “I’m glad that you found me. If it hadn’t been you…” He could smell his skin charring now, and Jensen moved back, away from him. He said Jared’s name, and Jared tore at his shirt, pulling it off in an attempt to get the cooler air to his body.

“Let me up!” he said, and Jensen backed up, pushed himself to his feet so quickly that he stumbled and fell against the wall opposite them. Jared crashed into the tiny bathroom and Jensen heard the sudden rush of water, and the hissing noise as it hit Jared’s flesh. He set a hand against the wall behind him and took a step forward.

“Are you-?” He stopped short at the sight that greeted him through the open bathroom door. Jared stood beneath the spray, steam blooming in clouds from his bare skin as he hung his head low and tried to breathe. His chest was heaving from the shock of it, and he was trembling all over.

“I’m sorry,” Jared said, so quietly that it was a wonder that Jensen heard it. “I just, I really wanted this tonight.”

“Are you all right?” Jensen asked, like he had meant to.

“I think so. Yes.” Jared looked up and Jensen could tell that whatever had happened had sobered him faster than ten pints of black coffee. His eyes were alive again, flames dancing within them.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Just what I said. I really want this tonight, and maybe I want it too much. I was trying to control it, but there was you and-” Jared stopped as Jensen began tugging off his own shirt. “What’re you doing?”

“Is the water very cold?”

“It’s bearable. Jensen-”

Jensen unfastened his pants too and let them drop to the floor of the trailer. He was naked, and Jared watched him, staying beneath the shower in his pants and boots. Jensen only needed to take two more steps, and then he was right there, close enough to touch. He gasped and flinched when the water first hit him. It wasn’t freezing, but the cold of it was only just bearable. Jensen knew it would feel colder to him, but he had a feeling that he would quickly get used to it.

Jared was staring down between their bodies, at the thick curve of Jensen’s cock, and Jensen reached for his hand and guided it down. He wanted Jared to touch him. More than that, he needed it. When Jared’s fingers came around him, Jensen reached up and pulled him down for another kiss. The fire had cooled, evaporating around them in wispy clouds, and Jared had stopped shaking. Jensen reached down as well, flicking the buttons of Jared’s pants open and spreading them apart. They were sodden and heavy, and pulled taut around Jared’s thighs as Jensen eased them down enough to reach where he wanted to go.

Jensen sucked at Jared’s tongue, pulled at wet hair with his free hand. The steam was making him breathless again, though he felt more alive than he had in years. In his experience, sex had always been something that was merely useful. With Jared it was different. With Jared he felt like he was fuel that was being ignited, lit up like the engine of his bike. He felt like his heart was roaring, and that nothing could touch him.

When he came, and when Jared followed moments later, Jensen’s legs did not give way beneath him. He did not feel weak. He felt stronger than he ever had, in fact. Jared pushed him back then and stepped from under the water to kiss him some more. They stayed there, both dripping onto the floor, half-in and half-out of the small bathroom. They stayed there until Jensen started shivering with the cold, and Jared noticed and drew back, concerned. He reached behind him and shut the water off, and they stepped right out into the trailer and looked at one another. Jared in pants that were soaked through, and boots that would leave damp imprints on the carpeted floor. Jensen in nothing at all.

“I think we should go to bed,” Jared said.

“I think we should dry off,” Jensen answered. “Here.” He moved around Jared and fetched out two towels. Jared undressed properly, and they stood side by side as they rubbed themselves dry.

“We should still go to bed,” Jared said, the moment he was done. “You need to get warm before you get sick again.”

“I am warm,” Jensen insisted, but Jared was already pulling him towards the trailer’s only bed.

Jensen dozed off for a while once they were there, and Jared’s limbs were wrapped around him. He was so warm and so content, that he couldn’t fight it. Jared watched him sleep, and he watched him wake as well. Jensen saw him looking and turned his head down, resting it against Jared’s shoulder.

“You’re so comfortable,” he murmured. “I love sleeping with you.”

“I love sleeping with you, too,” Jared said. For some reason that made Jensen laugh. It caught in his throat, though, when the door to the trailer flew open so hard it nearly came off its hinges. The sound of it banging against the outer wall was quickly followed by Chris pulling himself inside. In any other circumstances, Jensen would have yelled at him to get out. He might even have been embarrassed. But the look on his friend’s face told him that neither of those things were an option.

“Jared! What the hell have you- Your mind is wide open right now! You need to-”

“It’s too late,” Jared told him, his eyes wide and full of fear. The change was so sudden that Jensen went cold all over, in spite of the heat still radiating from Jared’s skin. Jared darted from the bed and dressed in the nearest clothes - his still wet pants. “We need to leave,” he said, turning back to look at Jensen. “We have to get out of here before-”

He didn’t get to finish, before Chris was yanked backwards through the doorway by some unseen force. They heard him hit something solid, and they could hear, in the stillness of the night, as he tried to catch his breath. He called out Jensen’s name, and he sounded afraid for the first time since Jared had known him.

“Come out, little piggy!” It was a voice that Jared hadn’t heard in over four years, but it was familiar all the same. “Or I’ll blow your house down!”

“He’ll what?” Jensen asked, scrabbling for his own clothes. “Is he serious?”

Jensen sounded afraid too, and Jared hated that he was responsible for that. He didn’t have time to explain the reference, though, and he quickly left the relative safety of the trailer and stepped outside. Out there the smell of smoke was stronger. In the center of the midway there was something that looked like a man, but Jared knew that it wasn’t. Whatever or whoever the thing was that had Chris in a headlock; it had flattened the Big Top across the midway, and one of the smaller tents was alight. The other carnival workers, woken by the noise, were emerging from their trailers and tents up and down the edge of the midway.

“Who are you?” one of them asked. Jared recognized him as the operator of the carnival’s ‘Tunnel of Fear’. He was a pretty fearsome man himself, even taller and more muscular than Jared, and with a voice that was rougher than sandpaper.

“Your worst nightmare,” said the thing, and Jared knew it was said without any hint of humor. Before the other guy could answer back, he stepped in.

“Let my friend go,” he said. “I know that it’s me you want, so just let him go, and we’ll talk.”

“Talk?!” It gazed at him with a look of pure contempt. “Do you even know what it is that you have?”

“I think I’m beginning to understand that it’s something you want.”

“I will kill you for it if I have to. And you will not get a chance to let it escape. I’m not going to let that happen again.”

Struggling to remember what had been said on the night that he’d been sent here, Jared took a step forward. “I don’t know where it is, whatever you’re looking for.”

The creature tossed back his head and laughed loudly. “It’s inside you, you fool. Somewhere in that tiny little mind of yours, hidden behind all your memories and dreams. If I have to cut your head open and sift through what’s inside to find it, then I shall. It would be easier for you to find it now and hand it over. It would cost you a lot less.”

“What did getting here cost you?” Jared asked.

It must have been the right question to ask, because the thing’s demeanor changed in a heartbeat. He tossed Chris to the side like a ragdoll, and Jared winced as Chris’s limp body rolled across the grass.

“Enough that I can’t go back without it.”

That was when Jared understood. The look on his face must have made it apparent that he’d just realized, because the thing before him laughed, mocking.

“Hoo, boy! You didn’t even know what you had all this time? That’s the trouble with you humans. The merest hint of pain and you give up. Your body isn’t built to handle it. You thought it was all about shooting flames out from your fingertips, didn’t you?”

“Enlighten us,” Jensen said, and Jared felt a small sense of relief mixed in with the fear as the other man stepped up beside him.

“That’s just a side effect. A warning. You’re a portal, Jared. A portal between universes. Somewhere in that head of yours is the key. If you open your mind enough to fear, or happiness, or…love, then you unlock the door. Your skin starts to burn, and if you let it, that’s when it happens.”

“The fire keeps me safe,” Jared said, quietly. “Doesn’t it?”

“Bingo! It’s a cold, cold world out there between this universe and the next. And I bet your momma always told you to never go out in weather like that without a coat on.”

“My momma rarely spoke to me,” Jared replied.

“Cry me a river, kid. Now be a good boy and hand it over.”

Jared shrugged. “I can’t. Guess you’ll have to kill me for it.”

“My pleasure.”

Jared was aware of Jensen moving behind him, and he sort of knew that the other man wanted to try and protect him. He also knew that there wasn’t much that would protect him right then, save for himself. He stepped away from Jensen before the man could touch him, and he raised an arm and let a fireball burst from his hand. He threw it in the direction of the creature, unsurprised when it dodged the attack. He glanced towards Chris and saw that the man was at least still breathing, even if he wasn’t moving just then.

“Hey!” The shout came from Sebastian, and Jared could see him pushing through the crowd that had gathered to see what was going on.

“I’ve got this,” he called out, not wanting any more of his friends to be hurt. He was too late, as his opponent lifted his arms into the air and what looked like a wall of fast-moving air surrounded them. Jared’s hair whipped about his face, and he could see, just, as Sebastian was blown off his feet.

“Oh, have you?” Its voice had turned quite malicious now, and Jared raised his hand and threw another fireball as something flew towards his face. Whatever it was caught alight, turned to ash just feet away from him. “Not bad. Let’s take a little look, see where all this power is coming from…”

Jared shook his head. He could feel the intrusion straight away, and he forced it out, blocking his mind as best he could. His time with the Service had certainly made him stronger, and he used that now, fighting off the mental attack. With his concentration on that, however, he found it harder to stop the physical attacks, and something struck him on his shoulder, sending him staggering back.

“Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be, Jared,” the thing sang at him. It was enjoying itself, he could see. He could also see that Chris was conscious, and moving, and he felt a great relief at that. It surged through him, and he felt the crackle of power on the surface of his skin. He didn’t realize what Chris was doing, until he saw his arm outstretched, and a terrible noise came from his attacker a split second later.

It tore Chris’s knife from its throat, and Jared felt the pressure in his head lifting. It seemed that neither of them was very good at concentrating their energy on several things at once. It gave him the distraction he needed. He turned and found Jensen still behind him, looking as though he was aching to touch but unable to. It was clear that something was manipulating him, and Jared knew what.

“Jensen!” He had to call out to make himself heard over the wind that still rushed around them, separating them from the rest of the carnival, from help. This thing, he knew, was very powerful. But he also knew that if it wanted something he had, then he had the power to destroy it. He just needed to open his mind up to it. Find the key, right?

Jensen looked at him, helpless, and Jared closed the distance between them and put his hands to Jensen’s face, pulled him in and kissed him so hard that it almost hurt. There was such love in his heart, and such need, and he felt it all returned to him as Jensen kissed him back. But then Jensen went very still and white, and Jared saw something die out in his eyes. Jensen slumped against him, still alive but barely.

The sparks on Jared’s skin turned to flame, and he pushed Jensen out of harm’s way, facing his adversary instead. He rushed at him, and he felt the resistance as something tried to push him back.

Not this time, he thought, and his hands landed hard and fast against the thing’s meaty chest. He kept pushing, feeling the creature’s flesh burn beneath his fingers. There was a rage inside him that fuelled him on, even when he felt strong fingers wrap around his arms, nails becoming claws that tore into his arms. He felt like he was being pummelled from all sides by a thousand fists, but he didn’t let go.

“Do you have a heart?” he heard himself scream. “Because I will burn it right out of you!”

He didn’t notice when the howling winds stopped, or when his head cleared. He didn’t notice that he was wrist deep in the thing’s chest, its body burnt from the inside, black blood oozing down his arms and dripping to the ground.

All he noticed was Jensen’s voice, telling him to stop.

It was two days later, and the carnival was still buzzing with what had taken place. It was back to business as usual, but everybody there knew that things were somehow different, and that they might just be destined for more change yet.

Jared lay on the grass in the middle of the empty space where their Big Top had stood and looked up at the darkness above him. The stars looked different in this universe, but they were still there. Underneath his head was Jensen’s rolled up jacket, and he turned his head and breathed in the smell of it.

“Enjoying the stars?”

Tilting his head back, Jared found Jensen stood behind him, looking down at him. He smiled up at him, nodded. Reaching one heavily bandaged arm up, his hand found Jensen’s and he squeezed it gently.

“I can’t believe I lost another Big Top. You must be a bad luck charm on them or something.”

Jared laughed, shifting as Jensen moved to sit down beside him. “We’ll get another, I promise. No matter what. Until then, we can perform outside.”

“What about you?” Jensen asked him.

He clicked his fingers and there was a brief flash of a spark which disappeared as quickly as it showed itself. “I think I’m going to need a week to recharge.”

“A week, huh?” Jensen looked away, towards the midway, the lights from the rides reflecting colors over his skin. “I wonder what we’re going to do for a whole week?”

Jared laughed again, reaching up and fisting one hand around the front of Jensen’s shirt. He pulled Jensen down and he fell, sprawled across Jared’s body.

“Hmm,” Jared murmured, as Jensen’s mouth neared his. “I wonder…”

THE END.