(no subject)
Wow. I don't even know what to say.
I didn't get to check my email until around 9:30 or so last night, after I had been at work all day and had to run some errands that evening, and I can't even describe to you what greeted me. My mailbox was stuffed full of hateful, angry emails, all comments, over seventy of them. Do I even have to tell you how that makes me feel? I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up at 5:30 this morning, which is unusual considering that I usually snooze until twenty minutes before I have to leave for work. My husband is rip shit because I am so upset over this.
The only way I can describe it is that it feels like I invited people into my house, and they all started screaming at each other. I've had that happen to be me before. It really fucking sucks.
I've even had my personal integrity staked on this by someone, two arguments which occured on the internet between four people I never have and probably never will meet in my entire life, all because I was a little shocked to know how to respond to a fatphobic comment in a manner deemed timely enough, and then because I failed to live my life chained to my computer, just in case some people decided to use my LJ as their own personal boxing ring that day. How is that even fair? How is that even right?
I have already anxiety in my life due to starting a new business, to my day job, to trying to get started again in school, and to money issues. LJ is supposed to be a place where I can blow off steam and have a bit of fun. This is not fun. This makes me want to delete my journal and vanish from the internet forever.
I'm embarrassed that I even have to make a post like this. I'd like to think that my journal is above all of this LJ Drama bullshit. I'm pissed off that I have a bunch of fucking emails to respond to that I would rather just delete. De-friend me if you want. I do not care at this point. I refuse to take sides because I feel that no one came out of that looking even halfway decent.
I didn't get to check my email until around 9:30 or so last night, after I had been at work all day and had to run some errands that evening, and I can't even describe to you what greeted me. My mailbox was stuffed full of hateful, angry emails, all comments, over seventy of them. Do I even have to tell you how that makes me feel? I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up at 5:30 this morning, which is unusual considering that I usually snooze until twenty minutes before I have to leave for work. My husband is rip shit because I am so upset over this.
The only way I can describe it is that it feels like I invited people into my house, and they all started screaming at each other. I've had that happen to be me before. It really fucking sucks.
I've even had my personal integrity staked on this by someone, two arguments which occured on the internet between four people I never have and probably never will meet in my entire life, all because I was a little shocked to know how to respond to a fatphobic comment in a manner deemed timely enough, and then because I failed to live my life chained to my computer, just in case some people decided to use my LJ as their own personal boxing ring that day. How is that even fair? How is that even right?
I have already anxiety in my life due to starting a new business, to my day job, to trying to get started again in school, and to money issues. LJ is supposed to be a place where I can blow off steam and have a bit of fun. This is not fun. This makes me want to delete my journal and vanish from the internet forever.
I'm embarrassed that I even have to make a post like this. I'd like to think that my journal is above all of this LJ Drama bullshit. I'm pissed off that I have a bunch of fucking emails to respond to that I would rather just delete. De-friend me if you want. I do not care at this point. I refuse to take sides because I feel that no one came out of that looking even halfway decent.