(no subject)
I present:
A TYPICAL DAY IN THE MEI HOUSEHOLD
[After school, CLAUDIA and her brothers - hereafter known as JOE and JUSTIN - are all home. CLAUDIA is on the computer, since she is the first one home and got first dibs. JOE and JUSTIN are in the background, on the bed, having a pillow fight]
JUSTIN: HIYA! *thumps* HIYA HIYA! HI-YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
JOE: Aaaargh! YAHHHH! (loud thumping noises and squeals)
CLAUDIA: (continues to type placidly.)
[The air is punctuated with roaring, screaming, shouting, and other unearthly noises. The bed sounds like it is in the process of being smashed. A Swiffer pole seems to have appeared in the fight scene.]
[Continues until Claudia gets off computer. Joe and Justin immediately stop and sprint towards their prey. Meaning the computer, of course.]
JUSTIN: (manages to slip his butt into the privileged seat mere miliseconds before luckless Joe) *sweetly* Oooh, I just need this for a second. I just have to check something. *thinks* ...For school!
TWO MINUTES LATER.
JOE: Dude.
*silence*
JOE: DUDE! I did NOT let you on the computer just so you can check on your NEOPETS!* GET OFF!
JUSTIN: Ok, ok, hold on!
JOE: I have to do my homework! GET OFF!
JUSTIN: *feebly* Ok, ok!
JOE: GET OFF!
*silence*
JOE: GEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTT OFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (stretch it out for 20 seconds)
CLAUDIA: (looks up from work, slightly alarmed.)
*SILENCE.*
[A scuffle can be heard, along with thunderous footsteps. The wheels on the computer rolly chair are heard rolling all over the floor. The Swiffer pole seems to be in use, also.]
JOE: (tries to sound menacing) I am giving you...(thinks)..........TWO seconds.
JUSTIN: *ignores*
JOE: [menacingly] One! Two!
*SILENCE*
*LOUD THUDDING NOISES*
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
JUSTIN: HeeeeeYYyy! HHhhheEEYYY!!!!! NO. FAIR. (he has obviously been kicked off) NO FAIR! I'M GOING TO TELL MOM I DIDN'T DO MY EXTRA CREDIT HOMEWORK AND IT WILL BE ALL. YOUR. FAULTT!!!
JOE: I don't care! I have to do MY work.
*silence. Justin is obviously shooting menacing looks*
*...but of course, menacing looks are painless. Not good. Justin starts up a whining noise*
Joe: Shut up.
JUSTIN: *doesn't*
Joe: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!
*silence*
*a whistle blow breaks the silence*
CLAUDIA: (....wtf.)
*whistle blows again, louder*
*and again. It's starting to sound like the army*
CLAUDIA: (wants the noise to stop but is too busy smirking in amusement. Sadistic jerkwad.)
JOE: STOP IT!
*pause*
*whistle continues*
*sounds of thudding and banging start up again*
....and so on. UNTIL...
*SILENCE*
JUSTIN: ...and MARIANO SCORES ANOTHER ONE!** Woohoo!
...until the two happily abandon homework to check Mlb.com for baseball scores. (Losers.)
~THE END~
*An online game we all used to play when we were sixth graders. They look sort of like Pokemon
**This could vary.