Mother. Father.
I am not a science experiment. I do not need your vitamins and supplements, and sending my hair and blood away for analysis will do you little to no good.
This, I can promise you, is not what is wrong with me.
I'm going to go drink my smoothie and kill some zombies now. Meanwhile could you both please at least make some attempt to stop making me feel like the freakiest freak that ever freaked.
Thank you in advance for your habitual complete and utter disregard for all that I am.