fic: let's all pack up and move this year (disney rpf, nick/miley, etc, 3/4)
Title: Let's All Pack Up and Move This Year
Author: empressearwig
Pairing/Fandom: Disney RPF; Nick Jonas/Miley Cyrus, Joe Jonas/Demi Lovato, Kevin Jonas/Danielle Jonas, David Henrie/Selena Gomez, John Mayer/Taylor Swif
Rating: R
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Word Count:28,709
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, this is all for fun. This hasn't happened. Yet. Etc.
Summary: This is a story about finding yourself and then finding your way back. Set six years in the future, it is the story of Nick and Miley's separate struggles with the choices they've made and who they've become, and how the choices they make next will change the rest of their lives. The story deviates from reality somewhere in fall 2009.
Author's Notes: Written for jb_bigbang 2010. Many thanks to my brilliant artist, magic_panic, whose work can be found here and below. Many, many thanks to the people that looked at this in various stages of development, including, but not limited to the following: perfectlystill, leobrat and normative_jean. I am 100% sure that this wouldn't have been finished without your assistance and cheerleading. You can start calling in those favors any time now.
Okay, so I was wrong about
My reasons for us fallin’ out
Of love I want to fall back in
My life is different now I swear
I know now what it means to care
About somebody other than myself
I know the things I said to you
They were untender and untrue
I’d like to see those things undo
So if you could find it in your heart
To give a man a second start
I promise things won’t end the same
~ The Avett Brothers, Shame
Something wakes Miley up out of a dead sleep. She shoots straight up in bed and looks around the room with blurry eyes, trying to figure out what the noise is. She glances down at her nightstand and sees the alarm clock and the source of the offender. Her cell phone. Of course it's her phone. Never mind that she didn't get home until after four and it's only just past seven. Someone is going to die.
She grabs the phone, answers it just to make it stop. "Hello?" she groans. flopping back down onto her pillows and draping her other arm over her eyes to keep out the sun.
"Miley!" Taylor's voice says. She sounds almost chipper. It's disgusting.
"This better be good."
"Come over for breakfast."
Miley lifts her arm and looks at the alarm clock again. Blinks. "What, now?"
"Of course now, why else would I be calling now?"
"Have you slept at all?" Miley asks, dropping her arm back over her eyes. She yawns.
"Actually --" Taylor starts.
"Wait, wait, don't answer that," Miley says hurriedly. "I don't want a story about how much sex you had last night or anything."
"Breakfast, Miley Ray," Taylor orders. "I'm going to make Demi and Selena come over, too, and we'll read our reviews and talk."
"Talk?" Miley has a very bad feeling about this. A very, very bad feeling about this.
"See you in an hour!" Taylor chirps and then there's silence on the other end of the line.
Miley groans and rolls over onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillows. It's pointless to resist, she knows this. If she doesn't get up and go to Taylor's, Taylor will simply invite herself over. It's easier to just give in. But goddammit, she doesn't want to.
With a sigh, she makes herself get out of bed. This had better be good. If it's not, they'll never find Taylor's body.
***
It's closer to an hour and a half by the time Miley makes it to Taylor's doorstep. She accidentally washed her hair with body wash and then spilled coffee on herself when she was trying to rush out the door and ended up having to change. None of it has made her think that getting out of bed was even close to worth it.
The elevator doors open and Miley steps off into the condo. It's suspiciously quiet. Taylor is many things, but quiet wouldn't even make the list. Miley heads back to the kitchen, figuring that she was promised breakfast and that's where she's most likely to find it.
And sure enough, Taylor, Selena and Demi are all sitting around the kitchen table, picking at bagels and fruit and sipping coffee. Miley raises an eyebrow at them. "Starting without me?"
Demi pushes a chair back with her foot. "Sit."
"What took so long?" Taylor asks curiously as she gets up to pour Miley a cup of coffee. "There can't have been traffic. It's too early."
"No, really?" Miley says sarcastically, flopping down in the chair. "Too early? I had no idea."
"Someone hasn't had their morning coffee," Selena sing songs, taking a drink from her own mug.
Taylor presses a cup into Miley's hand. "Drink. Eat. Wake up."
"Oh, I'm awake," Miley retorts. "Believe me, I'm awake." She takes a sip. "I'm just not happy about it."
Taylor takes the seat across from her and slides a newspaper to her. "Get happy."
Miley looks down at the newspaper like it's a live snake. "Is that what I --?"
Taylor nods. "Yep." She nudges it closer. "Go on, read it."
Miley shakes her head. "No." She doesn't do that. She's had her heart broken too many times by reviewers and critics and people that pretend to know her but don't. If she doesn't know what they say, they can't upset her.
Demi snatches the newspaper. "Fine, I'll do it for you."
"Don't you --"
"Last night at the Troubador, the new duo, The Second, comprised of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus played their debut live performance."
Miley groans and drops her head to the table, covering her ears. "Lalalalalalala."
Demi talks louder. "We admit, we were unsure what to expect. Ms. Swift has obviously become a Nashville mainstay over the past decade, but Ms. Cyrus has been on a lengthy hiatus from the music industry. It would not have come as a surprise to find that Ms. Cyrus was being carried by Ms. Swift as she attempted to shake off the rust of a more than five year absence from the stage. We are pleased to report that was not the case."
Miley peeks out from under her arms.
Demi smirks and keeps reading. "The two women were equals from start to finish, debuting an impressive roster of new songs and slipping in covers of old favorites so seamlessly that it seemed as if they'd been written just for the two of them. We don't know what these women have planned for the future, but we can only hope that it's more nights just like this one."
Miley can't help it, she goggles. "It does not say that."
Demi waves the newspaper in front of her face. "See for yourself."
Miley snatches it out of her hand, skims the words. She reads them again and again. They really say that. She doesn't know if she's ever had this good a review, not ever. She looks up at her friends. "It really says that."
They all nod at her.
"I -- I don't know what to say."
"Well, while you're thinking about that," Taylor drawls. "How about you tell us what happened with Nick last night?"
Miley blinks. She blinks again. And again. She did not expect that. Of all the questions that Taylor possibly could have asked her, she's not sure she would have put that in the top thousand. She looks around the table, sees them all staring back at her expectantly. "What do you want me to say?"
"We want the juicy details, duh," Selena says, popping a strawberry into her mouth. "Was it weird?"
"Seeing Nick?" Miley asks, trying to stall long enough to actually come up with an answer. What was weird -- and she's not sure she wants to tell them this -- is how weird it wasn't. It was awkward, sure, they hadn't talked in over two years and it had been years longer since they'd spoken in anything that wasn't platitudes and promises waiting to be broken. This was different. Miley wants to say that it was almost like coming home, but that's too cheesy even for her. It was like finding something that was lost or rekindling a fire that you'd long since thought was put out. It was familiar and it was not. She doesn't know what any of it meant. She doesn't know if she wants to share it. She doesn't know if she can.
She bites her lip, drawing it through her teeth. "It was -- it was good," she says finally. It's not enough; it's not what they want. But it's all that she knows she can safely offer. Whatever last night was, she needs more time to figure it out. She's learned (is learning) that she needs to keep some things for herself. She thinks this is one of those things.
"Good?" Demi asks, disappointment evident in her voice and on her face. "That's it?"
Miley nods. Then she shakes her head. "No. That wasn't it. I just need some time to figure it out." She offers them a half smile. "You'll be the first to know?"
"I suppose if that's the best you can do," Taylor sighs. "Now. I think we should..."
Miley tunes her out. She knows she should be listening, she's sure Taylor's plotting her future for her. But her mind is too full, too full of Nick and this review that's the validation she's been seeking her entire career. They're all she has room for in her mind. Nick and music. Funny how those two things always come together, she thinks.
Maybe it's a sign.
###
It's a loud banging that wakes Nick up. He looks around the room through blurry eyes, trying to figure out where the noise is coming from and how he can make it stop. It takes him longer than he wants to admit, mostly because he can't quite remember where he is at first. All hotel rooms start to look the same after awhile and he's stayed in more hotel rooms than the average person.
The noise is coming from the door. He gets out of bed and pads over to the door, tugging a shirt on over his head as he goes. He checks the judas hole out of habit, he's mostly outgrown crazy, stalking fans, but he's found that they show up in the unlikeliest of places. He really doesn't want this to be one of them. When he sees who it is, he thinks that he'd rather have had the fan.
With a sigh, he opens the door to his brother and David on the other side. "What do you want?"
"Good morning to you too, Nicholas," Joe says cheerfully as he pushes his way into the room. "We aren't interrupting anything are we?"
Nick frowns, motions for David to come in. "What did you think you were going to be interrupting besides me getting some much needed sleep?"
"Oh, I didn't think," Joe says. "I hoped. Alas, it appears to have been in vain."
Nick looks at his brother blankly. He knows Joe is speaking English, he recognizes all the words, but none of them make any sense all strung together.
"He was hoping you got laid," David elaborates at the sight of Nick's face. "But there's no girl. Or boy. Maybe you're into boys now, I don't know."
Nick scrubs his hands across his face. This is all a horrible nightmare, it has to be. He's going to close his eyes and count to ten and when he opens them, he's going to be back in bed, and none of this will have ever happened. He closes his eyes and starts to count silently to himself.
Of course Joe doesn't let him get that far. A pair of jeans lands on his head before he even gets to six. "What the fuck?" he splutters as he pulls them down. "Why would you do that?"
Joe shrugs. "Because. Get dressed, Nicky boy, we're going to breakfast."
"No, you're leaving and I'm going back to sleep."
Joe looks at him pityingly. "You don't really think that's going to happen, do you?"
Nick doesn't. But that doesn't mean he doesn't curse god for not making him an only child as he's drug out the door. That would be asking too much.
***
They end up in a diner, the kind that has vinyl seats and surly waitresses. Joe and David are in heaven; Nick's still upset about being forced to get out of bed.
A waitress slaps menus down on the table in front of them, pours coffee and leaves. Nick appreciates the efficiency. And the coffee. He reads the menu while Joe and David fight over who gets access to the sugar first. Joe wins.
"So Nick," Joe says as he dumps in about five sugar packets into his coffee. "How did things go with Miley last night? I couldn't help but --" David gives Joe a look and Joe slides the sugar across the table and continues. "-- right, we couldn't help but notice that the two of you were talking for an awfully long time."
"All alone," David says, stirring his coffee. "It was downright intimate, wouldn't you say, Joe?"
"Did you two practice this?" Nick grumbles, taking another drink of his own coffee. He searches in vain for the waitress, hoping for an easy way out of this conversation, but he knows that no relief will be forthcoming. She'll be back when she wants to be back and not a minute sooner.
David and Joe trade glances. "Practice?" Joe says. "Us? I"m hurt by that, Nicholas."
Nick snorts.
Joe ignores him. "So anyway. Miley."
"We're not asking for all the juicy details or anything," David says. He frowns. "Well, actually we are. But not in a girly way."
The waitress shows up at that exact moment. Nick has never been so happy to see a disgruntled service worker before in his life. He makes a mental note to leave a really big tip. "What'll you have?" she demands, looking around the table with a menacing look.
Nick takes a small amount of satisfaction in the fear on Joe and David's faces.
They all order and the waitress leaves. Nick drinks more coffee. Joe and David stare at him expectantly.
Finally Nick sighs and puts down his coffee cup. "If I give you something, will you shut up about it and we can move on to other topics like the fact that Joe's been sitting on an engagement ring for at least two months?"
Joe nods and David starts to, but then what Nick said sinks in. His head snaps towards Joe and he looks at him with shock. "What? You've been holding out on me, Jonas."
Joe glares at Nick. "Thanks, little brother."
Nick shrugs even as he laughs. "You deserved it"
"Excuse me?" David says. "Engagement ring?"
There's something close to panic in Joe's eyes. Nick probably shouldn't be so amused by this. "Look," Joe says, pointing towards the kitchen doors. "Breakfast!"
"Saved by the hashbrowns," David quips, and then the waitress is dumping their plates on the table and they all dig into the food. All thought of anything else vanishes, along with their breakfasts.
Nick's more than a little relieved.
###
Life goes back to normal. Joe and Demi go back to New York. David and Selena go back to L.A. Nick goes back to Chicago. Miley keeps going over to Taylor's to write and rehearse, and it's like nothing at all has changed.
Except everything has.
It all starts innocently enough. She's in the checkout line at the grocery store when her phone vibrates in her pocket. She switches her basket to the other hand and digs the phone out, pressing the buttons to view the text. It's only one word, but suddenly there's a fluttering in her stomach that she thought she'd outgrown. It's ridiculous, she lectures herself silently. The word "hi" should not cause this kind of reaction. She's supposed to be an --
"Miss?" the cashier says loudly. "You're next."
Miley blinks. "I'm so sorry," she babbles, dropping the phone in her purse and putting her basket on the conveyor belt. She makes an apologetic gesture at the people in line behind her. "I'm sorry."
Everyone ignores her. She watches the cashier scan and bag her groceries, trying to force herself not to think about what any of it means. Could mean. It might be nothing. Probably is nothing. She sees the cashier finish and pulls out her wallet. She swipes her debit card and the cashier hands over her bags and Miley bolts. She dumps the groceries in the passenger seat and pulls out her phone again.
What it says hasn't changed, even if part of her expected it to disappear like it had never happened at all.
"Hi."
One word. One syllable. A greeting used by millions of people every day. It's a nothing word, one used without intent or purpose.
But this means something. It does. She knows it does. She knows he means it to mean something.
She takes a deep breath. Types in a reply. Hits send.
She drops her phone back into her purse and puts the keys in the ignition. It's his move. She hopes there's an answer when she gets home.
***
They start texting each other several times a day. It's never about anything serious, just quick mentions of how their days are going, what they had for dinner, what movie they just watched.
Words like "I miss you" or "I think I might still love you" are not said. Miley tries not to think them either. Where they are is good. They're rebuilding a friendship lost to time and distance and bad timing, and that can't be fixed with scotch tape and a smile. She knows that.
She's just never been very good at waiting.
Most of her wants to tell someone, anyone, about what's going on, but a smaller part, the part where common sense and remembered disappointments lives, tells her to keep it to herself. To wait and see if maybe this is more than merely rekindled friendship. She's ninety-eight percent sure she wants it to be more. She has no idea what Nick is thinking.
One day her phone rings while she's loading the dishwasher. She almost drops a glass in her haste to get to the phone. (She really hates loading the dishwasher.) Nick's name is flashing next to the words incoming call and she can't help it, she freezes. Suddenly the stakes seem that much higher.
She answers. "Hello?"
"Miley," Nick says. She thinks he might sound nervous. "Hi."
"Hi," she echoes stupidly. Her heart is beating absurdly fast. "What's up?"
"Nothing," he says, and she swears she can almost see him shrugging. "I just thought we'd try something new."
She leans back against the counter. "Oh, I don't know that this is new. I remember doing this a lot." Right after she says it, she wishes she could call the words back. They've been very careful to keep things in the here and now, to avoid mentions of their past. And the first time he calls, she goes and ruins it.
"You're right," he says. "We did."
Miley blinks. Did he just admit she was right about something? "Can you repeat that?" she asks. "I want to find a tape recorder. Save that for posterity."
He laughs, low and deep. A shiver goes down Miley's spine. She ignores it. "Sorry, that was a one time only thing," he says.
"Mean."
"You know you like it."
She does, but she's certainly not going to tell him that. "So really, you just decided the time was right to call?"
"Yeah," he says. "Wait, is that okay? Should I have not called?" He sounds anxious. She didn't mean to make him anxious. Especially if it means he won't call again.
"No, no," she says hurriedly. "It's fine. It's good. It's more than good. I'm glad you called."
"Really?"
"Really."
There's a silence. It's less awkward than Miley thinks it should be. But eventually she feels compelled to fill it, silence is another thing she's never been good at.
"Did I tell you that Taylor's setting up some kind of mini-tour?"
"No. That's awesome, Miles." He pauses. "That is awesome, right?"
She laughs. "It is," she assures him. "I'm excited about it. Less excited about living in hotel rooms and out of a suitcase, but excited nonetheless." She hesitates. "You should come to one of the shows, maybe. I think we're doing one in Chicago."
"I'll be there," he says with no hesitation at all. "Or where ever. Just let me know."
Miley can feel a ball of happiness unfurling in her stomach. This talking thing is wonderful, she doesn't know why they didn't try it sooner. "Really?"
"Really."
She smiles, more than a little foolishly she's sure, and somehow manages to resist the urge to dance around her kitchen. She sees the clock on the microwave out of the corner of her eye. "Shoot."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm supposed to meet Taylor to plan some more stuff, do you mind? I can call to --"
"Go," Nick orders. "We'll talk later."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
She knows Nick always tries to keep his promises. "Okay, I'm going. Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm so glad you called."
She hangs up before he can say goodbye. As she dances out her front door, she is very glad that she lives by herself and that no one is around to see it. Because she's pretty sure she looks completely ridiculous. It's totally worth it.
###
Nick's asleep in bed when his phone rings. He fumbles for it out of habit, not because of any real desire to answer it. "What?" he mumbles into the phone.
"I'm engaged!"
Nick sits straight up, rubbing at his eyes. "Joe?" That was Joe's voice, wasn't it? Saying he was engaged? Nick's not awake enough for this.
"Do you have another brother that could possibly be calling to tell you that he's engaged?"
"Not unless there's something Frankie's not telling me," Nick retorts. He smiles. "Congratulations, man. To you and to Demi, though I still think she could have done better."
"Hey!"
Suddenly Demi's voice is on the line, "Thanks, Nick, but I already knew that. I've told him that before, but he keeps on following me home, so I may as well keep him."
"As long as you know," Nick says.
"I'm standing right here," Joe says. Nick can hear the pout in his voice. He rolls his eyes, knowing something disgusting is just around the corner.
And sure enough, he hears Demi say, "Aw, you know I love you," in the background and the sound of kissing through the phone.
"Guys?" he tries. "Still here."
"Right," Joe says, sounding more like himself again. "Sorry. Well, not really, but I know you're all alone right now and I don't want to rub it in."
"Thanks, Joe."
"Anytime, little brother. We're going to go, we have more people to call and wake up to share the good news, but we wanted to tell you first."
"I'm glad you did," Nick says. "And Joe, really. Congratulations. To both of you."
"Thanks. Later."
"Later."
Nick drops the phone back on the nightstand and lays back down, folding his arms back behind his head. He'd known this was coming, of course, he was there when Joe picked out the ring. But knowing it's actually happened, that's so much more final somehow.
Kevin's married, with two great kids. Joe's about to get married. Frankie's got another year of high school left and then college. His brothers are all growing up and moving on, and he's been standing still, letting life happen to him.
He's done with that now. From now on, he's going to steer the course. And he's pretty sure he knows where he wants to start.
###
Miley hangs up the phone with a sigh. She's happy for Joe and Demi -- thrilled really. They're two of her absolute favorite people in the world and they're right together in a way that makes her hopeful that there's someone that right out there for everyone. (She knows who that right person is for her. She's always known.) And when she was on the phone with Demi, she'd been happy and bubbly and all the things that you're supposed to be when one of your best friends, if not your best friend, tells you that they're getting married.
Moving back to Nashville was the absolute right thing to do, she's certain of that. She's happy for the first time in years. She has a new purpose in life, closer relationships with her friends and family than she has in longer than she can remember, but something is still missing.
She's still alone. She's tired of being alone. She wants to be with Nick.
"I want to be with Nick," she says aloud, the words echoing off the walls, filling the emptiness of the silent room. If nothing else, she's admitted it to herself now. Oh, she's known for weeks now where she wanted this renewal of their friendship to lead, but this is the first time she's actually let herself admit it. She didn't want to get ahead of herself, she didn't want to rush. She didn't want to make it more than it was, she didn't want to be wrong.
She's ninety-five percent sure that Nick feels the same way, but it's the five percent that gnaws at her mind, that makes her hold back, keep some part of her heart for herself. She's had her heart broken too many times by Nick the boy, and she feels sure that Nick the man could shatter it forever.
She thinks he could hold it forever, if only he wanted to. She hopes he wants to.
She picks up the phone. Presses four, the number he's worked his way up to on her speed dial. Lets the phone ring.
Someone told her once, with great risk comes great reward. She's ready to start taking risks again. She wants the rewards.
###
Kevin and Danielle throw the engagement party and they all descend on Dallas. The party is on a Saturday, and Nick flies in on Thursday. He's nervous. He's certain that something is about to happen, he can feel it in the air. Things with him and Miley, there's a tension that wasn't there in the beginning. It's as if every word they speak brings them closer to something, something neither of them has said out loud yet.
He thinks he's ready to say them out loud.
He stays with his parents for this visit. Whether or not they'll admit it (and they won't), the last thing that Kevin and Danielle need with party guests about to invade their home is extra house guests. Still, it’s strange staying with his parents. When he stays with Kevin and Danielle, he doesn’t think twice about staying in a guest bedroom, there’s nowhere else he’d expect to sleep. But when he stays with his parents, he’s very conscious of the fact that he’s a visitor in a place that he used to call home. He still has a room, of course, but it’s not his, not in the way it was when he was a teenager. It’s strange, the things that make him feel like an adult.
The night of the party, he drives over with Joe and Demi. He’d meant to drive over with his parents and Frankie (and Frankie’s girlfriend and that’s another thing that makes Nick feel old), but somehow he’d forgotten what it was like to share a bathroom with Joe and Joe’s hair. Nick had never stood a chance of being ready on time, let alone early.
When they all get to the party, the house is already crowded with people. Joe and Demi are immediately swept off into the masses by Danielle, but Nick is left to his own devices. He’s fine with that; he really only has one thing on his mind.
He needs to find Miley.
He finally finds her standing next to the window in the great room, chatting animatedly with Taylor and John. She’s wearing a strapless blue dress, her hair loose and tumbling down around her shoulders. There’s a wide smile on her face and she’s talking with her hands, nearly spilling the glass of red wine in her right hand again and again.
Somehow it’s the perfect blend of who she was and who she is, and he knows in that moment that he’s never stopped loving her. He’s never going to stop loving her.
More than anything else, he wants to tell her. But he knows that this isn’t the time. It’s Joe and Demi’s moment and he can’t take that away from them, even if they’d approve and be happy about it.
He takes a deep breath and pushes his feelings back under. He can wait. He makes himself smile and goes to say hello.
Just because he can wait, doesn’t mean he can’t talk to her. He deserves at least that.
###
Miley feels Nick walk into the room. She’s always had a sixth sense where he’s concerned, able to tell when he was watching her from afar, even if she didn’t know from where. She can feel him hesitating and she can feel when he decides to join them.
Still, when he touches her, presses his palm against her back, burning her skin through the thin material of her dress, it’s a surprise. She doesn’t know why she’s surprised that he can still undo her with a touch; she’s always known he could do that, too.
She hears him talking to John and Taylor, but she’s too conscious of the hand that’s still on her back to know what he’s saying. She hopes no one is talking to her, because she’s sure she wouldn’t actually be able to answer in words.
She sneaks a glance up at Nick’s face. It’s the same, but it’s different somehow. The jaw that she traced her fingers across a thousand times is the same, but it’s stronger now, the set of it more resolved. The freckles on his cheeks are still there, but she can no longer see the patterns in them that she used to know by heart. She wonders if she could relearn them. He still has the curls that she tangled her hands in a million times, but they’re shorter and she doesn’t remember how they felt under her hands. His eyes are the same, but with something else behind them. She thinks it might be wisdom and she wants to know what he’s learned. If it’s something she can learn from him.
Someone coughs, and she blinks the room back into focus. John and Taylor are smiling at her indulgently and Nick’s looking back at her with heat in his eyes. She feels the embarrassment at being caught staring first, but there’s an answering pull of heat low in her stomach.
“Sorry,” she says, shaking her head to try to clear the lust that’s suddenly fogging her brain.
“We’re just going to go,” Taylor says and she grabs John’s hand and drags him away, leaving Miley alone with Nick which is both the last and only place that she wants to be. She thinks it’s strange the way that happens.
Miley looks back up at Nick. He’s still looking at her like she’s the only thing in the world that he sees. It’s a look she remembers, it’s a look she never thought she’d see again.
She licks her lips unconsciously. Nick’s eyes get darker.
“Miley,” he says and she shifts just a little closer. His fingers are tracing absent patterns on her back now. It feels like he’s branding her, staking a claim, taking back what’s always been his. She wishes that he’d hurry up and take the rest of her, too.
“Miley,” he says again and his palm flattens against her back, drawing her into him. He starts to bend his head and she thinks that this is it. His breath ghosts against her lips and then she hears someone say his name.
He straightens quickly, pulling his hand back like they’re teenagers getting caught doing something they shouldn’t again. She misses his heat.
###
“What the - -“ Nick says, looking around the room for the source of the interruption. When he finds them, he’s going to kill them, Nick knows that for certain. He doesn’t let himself look down at Miley. He knows what will happen if he does.
Someone claps him on the shoulder, Nick spins around to face them. “Kevin,” he says with annoyance. “What is it?”
Kevin raises an eyebrow at him. “Nice to see you, too.” He smiles at Miley. “Hey, Miles.”
“Hi, Kevin,” she says. Nick looks down at her and her face is totally composed, as if they weren’t about to kiss five seconds before. She’s always been a better actress than she’s given credit for.
Kevin looks back at Nick. “Time for your toast,” he says. “Remember, Joe and Demi, the whole reason we’re all here. You said you’d give a toast.”
“Right,” Nick says. “The toast. Sure. Let’s do this.” He glances back down at Miley. “I’ll find you after?” He says it like it’s a question, but they both know it’s not.
She nods.
He lets his fingers drag across her arm as Kevin leads him away. He feels her eyes follow him out of the room. He hopes this is fast.
***
Kevin leads him to the great room, where Joe and Demi are standing in front of the fireplace, both of them wearing bemused smiles.
"Are we having fun yet?" he asks as he joins them. He knows he was. At least until Kevin showed up.
"My cheeks hurt from too much smiling and Joe's mad that every time he tries to eat someone takes his food away," Demi informs him. "But other than that, we're just super."
Nick laughs. "Too much smiling?" he teases, already in a better mood. "That's a fate worse than death."
"I stopped acting for a reason," she says, frowning at him. "Being told to smile on command is so not my thing."
"And why won't they let me eat?" Joe demands. "This party is supposed to be about me -- about us," he corrects, at the sight of Demi's arched eyebrow. "Don't I deserve food?"
Nick catches sight of Kevin and Danielle moving towards them. "Well, you'd both better start smiling, Kevin and Dani are heading this way."
Both of them instantly plaster smiles on their faces and Nick smothers another laugh as Kevin and Danielle come stand next to him.
"Are you two having a good time?" Danielle asks anxiously.
Both Joe and Demi nod.
"Definitely," Demi says.
"It's a great party," Joe agrees. "Thanks, both of you."
Danielle smiles with relief. "Oh, thank god."
Nick turns another laugh into a cough. Joe's acting lessons really have paid off. Kevin thumps him on the back.
"Alright, Nick?" he asks.
Now Nick's coughing for real. "Just need a minute," he manages. He takes giant, gasping breaths, sucking in air, trying to get back to normal. Someone passes him a glass, and he takes a tiny sip of water. It helps. "Thanks," he says gratefully, before taking another drink. The coughing stops. He gives a sigh of relief.
"Maybe we should get this show on the road before Nick chokes to death," Kevin says. Everyone nods, and Kevin takes a step forward. "If I could have your attention," he says loudly, and most of the chatter in the room comes to a halt. "Thank you," he says. "As you all know, we're gathered together to celebrate Joe and Demi's engagement today. It's a day we've long suspected was coming and Demi's always been like a part of the family, but it's nice to make that official." There's scattered applause and Kevin pauses. "Now, if you can spare your attention for a few minutes longer, Nick is going to say a few words. Nick?"
He steps to the front of the group and instantly spots Miley standing in the doorway. He makes himself look away, certain that he won't be able to get through this if he's staring at her, equally certain that he won't be able to help himself. "Like Kevin said," he starts. "This day has been a long time coming. In fact, I'm pretty sure that most of us knew it was coming before they did."
The crowd laughs and when he looks back over his shoulder, Joe and Demi have the grace to look sheepish. Nick smiles.
"And like Kevin said," he continues. "Demi's been part of our family for a long time. Since we were all teenagers, really, since before there was a Joe and Demi. Even back then, we could see that Joe and Demi had a special relationship, one that was different from the one that she shared with me, or with Kevin. It was something that you just knew could be special one day if they'd just get out of their own ways and let it be." He pauses, finds Miley's eyes in the crowd. "And when Joe called me one day and said, 'Nick, I'm in love with Demi', I wasn't in the least bit surprised. Because I'd always known. I was just relieved that they'd finally gotten out of their own ways and let themselves be. Because I knew that's all it would take for them to be happy." He pauses, takes a quick look back over his shoulder at Joe and Demi, sees Demi sniffling just a little. He looks back at Miley, raises his glass. "So here's to getting out of your own way. And here's to Joe and Demi. Welcome to the family, Dem."
"Here's to Joe and Demi," the crowd echoes back at him, raising their glasses. He drinks. Everyone in the crowd follows suit.
He turns back to his brothers and Demi launches herself into his arms, hugging him tight. "That was beautiful," she sniffles. She draws back, pats him on the cheek. "And I certainly hope you're going to listen to your own advice."
He nods, not even pretending to not know what she's talking about. He looks at his brother. "Joe."
"Nicholas," Joe says, stepping forward and giving him a hug. He wraps Nick on the back once, sharply. "Get out of your own way."
Nick nods again. "I will." He cocks his head to the side. "Now if you'll all excuse me..."
"Go," Demi orders, making shooing motions with her hands. "I don't want to see you again tonight, you hear?"
Nick grins. "I am so glad you're going to be my sister," he says, bending his head to kiss her cheek quickly. He turns, intent on heading for the door, for Miley, but she's not there any longer. He squares his shoulders and goes after her. It's past time he got out of his own way.
***
He finds Miley sitting outside, on the front steps. He doesn't say a word, just settles down next to her, so that they're sitting hip to hip. Her skin is hot against his. He resists touching, barely.
"That was beautiful," she says finally.
He starts, not sure if he's been sitting there for five minutes or five seconds. "It was all true," he says, sneaking a glance at her profile.
She nods, just once. She reaches over and takes his hand. "Come with me."
She stands, not waiting for an answer. He follows, just like she had to know he would. She leads him to a car parked on the street, slips behind the wheel. He sits in the passenger seat. She starts the car and they drive away.
###
Miley takes him back to her hotel. It feels right somehow, like the only place this can end. They haven't said a word or made any promises, but from the moment he touched her tonight, somehow she always knew it would end with him in her bed.
As much as she wants the words and the feelings, at this exact moment, she wants him in her bed more. If he doesn't put his hands on her soon, finish what he started with a press of his hand and a heated look, she's going to lose her mind.
They don't touch as the elevator rises. They just stand side by side, the air between them charged with electricity. When the elevator doors open to her floor, she takes his hand and leads him down the hall to her room. She fumbles with the key, she can feel him behind her, his warmth enveloping her. His breath hits her ear and she shivers just a little. The door opens and she almost falls through.
He reaches out, steadies her, even as he's following her inside. The door closes. She turns to face him and she sees him open his mouth to speak. She doesn't let him; she kisses him instead.
If she startles him, he doesn't show it. He just kisses her back, folding his arms around her, drawing her into him. She presses back against him, twining her hands in his hair.
It's like coming home; it's like nowhere she's ever been. She wants to stay here for the rest of her life.
They stumble their way toward the bed, neither willing to stop touching the other for even a second. She learns the ways that the planes of his shoulders have changed, been reshaped. He traces the new curves of her body, rediscovering the places that still make her arch into him and finding new ones all at once. Her hands slip beneath the hem of his shirt and he shudders, just like he used to. It makes her happy that some things don't change.
She falls back onto the bed, Nick looming above her. She scoots backward, pulling him down with her. As she moves back, her skirt bunches up around her thighs. He traces the newly exposed skin with his hands, leaving goosebumps in his wake. She works frantically at unbuttoning his shirt, needing to touch more of his skin. He helps her push the shirt off his shoulders, she turns her back so that he can draw down the zipper of her dress. He does it slowly, pressing kisses along the length of her spine as more and more skin is revealed. When he's finished, he helps peel the fabric away, leaving her practically bare before his hot gaze.
She thinks she should be self-conscious, he hasn't seen her like this since she was nineteen years old, but somehow it's the most natural thing in the world. When she pulls him down on top of her and they meet, skin to skin, it feels like the most right thing Miley's ever done. He reaches behind her to unfasten her bra, she fumbles with his belt buckle. She shoves his pants down his hips, palming him through the cotton of his boxers. He hisses and suddenly things become urgent.
They separate for seconds only, each rushing to remove the rest of their clothes, before they twine themselves back together. He suckles at her breast, she strokes his cock. Their skin is sweaty, pressed together, moving against each other. A hand snakes down her body, presses between her legs. Her flesh is slippery against his fingers and she arches into the touch as he slips one finger, than another inside her. She squirms restlessly as he touches her; his thumb grazes her clit and her hips buck up against his hand.
"Now," she says. It is the only word either of them has spoken.
He draws back, fumbling for his pants. She watches him through heavy eyes, anxious to have his hands back on her, anxious to have him inside her. He finds his wallet, draws out a condom. She sits up, takes it from him. She tears open the package, rolls it onto him slowly, deliberately. She watches him, sees the moment when his eyes close and his teeth grit. She smiles. The moment she's finished, he's pushing her back onto the sheets. He slides inside her, holding her gaze, daring her to look away. She doesn't.
They move together. Her hands grasp at his back, her nails digging into his shoulders. She knows she is leaving marks and is glad of it. He bends his head, pressing open mouthed kisses along her collarbone. He slides a hand between their bodies, finds her clit again, and suddenly she's going off like a rocket. She moans his name as she comes, raking her nails against his back, tangling a hand in his hair. She feels him thrust once, twice more and then he's following her off the edge, her name against his lips as he does.
She strokes her hand gently against his back as he comes back to himself. He rolls off her and out of bed, she assumes to get rid of the condom. When he comes back, he slides back into bed, gathering her to him. She lets him cuddle her against his chest, wraps a leg around his. He turns his head toward her, burying his face in her hair. She feels the moment he drifts off to sleep.
She lies awake in the dark, trying not to wonder if despite everything she's just made a horrible mistake.
###
When Nick wakes up in the morning, Miley is gone. Her bags are gone and there's a note on her pillow. That, and the lingering smell of her perfume, are the only signs that the night before wasn't all a dream.
Nick reads the note. It's short, simple. Just two sentences. Please forgive me, it says. I'll call.
He doesn't notice as the paper crumples in his fist.
[Part Four]
Author: empressearwig
Pairing/Fandom: Disney RPF; Nick Jonas/Miley Cyrus, Joe Jonas/Demi Lovato, Kevin Jonas/Danielle Jonas, David Henrie/Selena Gomez, John Mayer/Taylor Swif
Rating: R
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Word Count:28,709
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, this is all for fun. This hasn't happened. Yet. Etc.
Summary: This is a story about finding yourself and then finding your way back. Set six years in the future, it is the story of Nick and Miley's separate struggles with the choices they've made and who they've become, and how the choices they make next will change the rest of their lives. The story deviates from reality somewhere in fall 2009.
Author's Notes: Written for jb_bigbang 2010. Many thanks to my brilliant artist, magic_panic, whose work can be found here and below. Many, many thanks to the people that looked at this in various stages of development, including, but not limited to the following: perfectlystill, leobrat and normative_jean. I am 100% sure that this wouldn't have been finished without your assistance and cheerleading. You can start calling in those favors any time now.
Okay, so I was wrong about
My reasons for us fallin’ out
Of love I want to fall back in
My life is different now I swear
I know now what it means to care
About somebody other than myself
I know the things I said to you
They were untender and untrue
I’d like to see those things undo
So if you could find it in your heart
To give a man a second start
I promise things won’t end the same
~ The Avett Brothers, Shame
Something wakes Miley up out of a dead sleep. She shoots straight up in bed and looks around the room with blurry eyes, trying to figure out what the noise is. She glances down at her nightstand and sees the alarm clock and the source of the offender. Her cell phone. Of course it's her phone. Never mind that she didn't get home until after four and it's only just past seven. Someone is going to die.
She grabs the phone, answers it just to make it stop. "Hello?" she groans. flopping back down onto her pillows and draping her other arm over her eyes to keep out the sun.
"Miley!" Taylor's voice says. She sounds almost chipper. It's disgusting.
"This better be good."
"Come over for breakfast."
Miley lifts her arm and looks at the alarm clock again. Blinks. "What, now?"
"Of course now, why else would I be calling now?"
"Have you slept at all?" Miley asks, dropping her arm back over her eyes. She yawns.
"Actually --" Taylor starts.
"Wait, wait, don't answer that," Miley says hurriedly. "I don't want a story about how much sex you had last night or anything."
"Breakfast, Miley Ray," Taylor orders. "I'm going to make Demi and Selena come over, too, and we'll read our reviews and talk."
"Talk?" Miley has a very bad feeling about this. A very, very bad feeling about this.
"See you in an hour!" Taylor chirps and then there's silence on the other end of the line.
Miley groans and rolls over onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillows. It's pointless to resist, she knows this. If she doesn't get up and go to Taylor's, Taylor will simply invite herself over. It's easier to just give in. But goddammit, she doesn't want to.
With a sigh, she makes herself get out of bed. This had better be good. If it's not, they'll never find Taylor's body.
***
It's closer to an hour and a half by the time Miley makes it to Taylor's doorstep. She accidentally washed her hair with body wash and then spilled coffee on herself when she was trying to rush out the door and ended up having to change. None of it has made her think that getting out of bed was even close to worth it.
The elevator doors open and Miley steps off into the condo. It's suspiciously quiet. Taylor is many things, but quiet wouldn't even make the list. Miley heads back to the kitchen, figuring that she was promised breakfast and that's where she's most likely to find it.
And sure enough, Taylor, Selena and Demi are all sitting around the kitchen table, picking at bagels and fruit and sipping coffee. Miley raises an eyebrow at them. "Starting without me?"
Demi pushes a chair back with her foot. "Sit."
"What took so long?" Taylor asks curiously as she gets up to pour Miley a cup of coffee. "There can't have been traffic. It's too early."
"No, really?" Miley says sarcastically, flopping down in the chair. "Too early? I had no idea."
"Someone hasn't had their morning coffee," Selena sing songs, taking a drink from her own mug.
Taylor presses a cup into Miley's hand. "Drink. Eat. Wake up."
"Oh, I'm awake," Miley retorts. "Believe me, I'm awake." She takes a sip. "I'm just not happy about it."
Taylor takes the seat across from her and slides a newspaper to her. "Get happy."
Miley looks down at the newspaper like it's a live snake. "Is that what I --?"
Taylor nods. "Yep." She nudges it closer. "Go on, read it."
Miley shakes her head. "No." She doesn't do that. She's had her heart broken too many times by reviewers and critics and people that pretend to know her but don't. If she doesn't know what they say, they can't upset her.
Demi snatches the newspaper. "Fine, I'll do it for you."
"Don't you --"
"Last night at the Troubador, the new duo, The Second, comprised of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus played their debut live performance."
Miley groans and drops her head to the table, covering her ears. "Lalalalalalala."
Demi talks louder. "We admit, we were unsure what to expect. Ms. Swift has obviously become a Nashville mainstay over the past decade, but Ms. Cyrus has been on a lengthy hiatus from the music industry. It would not have come as a surprise to find that Ms. Cyrus was being carried by Ms. Swift as she attempted to shake off the rust of a more than five year absence from the stage. We are pleased to report that was not the case."
Miley peeks out from under her arms.
Demi smirks and keeps reading. "The two women were equals from start to finish, debuting an impressive roster of new songs and slipping in covers of old favorites so seamlessly that it seemed as if they'd been written just for the two of them. We don't know what these women have planned for the future, but we can only hope that it's more nights just like this one."
Miley can't help it, she goggles. "It does not say that."
Demi waves the newspaper in front of her face. "See for yourself."
Miley snatches it out of her hand, skims the words. She reads them again and again. They really say that. She doesn't know if she's ever had this good a review, not ever. She looks up at her friends. "It really says that."
They all nod at her.
"I -- I don't know what to say."
"Well, while you're thinking about that," Taylor drawls. "How about you tell us what happened with Nick last night?"
Miley blinks. She blinks again. And again. She did not expect that. Of all the questions that Taylor possibly could have asked her, she's not sure she would have put that in the top thousand. She looks around the table, sees them all staring back at her expectantly. "What do you want me to say?"
"We want the juicy details, duh," Selena says, popping a strawberry into her mouth. "Was it weird?"
"Seeing Nick?" Miley asks, trying to stall long enough to actually come up with an answer. What was weird -- and she's not sure she wants to tell them this -- is how weird it wasn't. It was awkward, sure, they hadn't talked in over two years and it had been years longer since they'd spoken in anything that wasn't platitudes and promises waiting to be broken. This was different. Miley wants to say that it was almost like coming home, but that's too cheesy even for her. It was like finding something that was lost or rekindling a fire that you'd long since thought was put out. It was familiar and it was not. She doesn't know what any of it meant. She doesn't know if she wants to share it. She doesn't know if she can.
She bites her lip, drawing it through her teeth. "It was -- it was good," she says finally. It's not enough; it's not what they want. But it's all that she knows she can safely offer. Whatever last night was, she needs more time to figure it out. She's learned (is learning) that she needs to keep some things for herself. She thinks this is one of those things.
"Good?" Demi asks, disappointment evident in her voice and on her face. "That's it?"
Miley nods. Then she shakes her head. "No. That wasn't it. I just need some time to figure it out." She offers them a half smile. "You'll be the first to know?"
"I suppose if that's the best you can do," Taylor sighs. "Now. I think we should..."
Miley tunes her out. She knows she should be listening, she's sure Taylor's plotting her future for her. But her mind is too full, too full of Nick and this review that's the validation she's been seeking her entire career. They're all she has room for in her mind. Nick and music. Funny how those two things always come together, she thinks.
Maybe it's a sign.
###
It's a loud banging that wakes Nick up. He looks around the room through blurry eyes, trying to figure out where the noise is coming from and how he can make it stop. It takes him longer than he wants to admit, mostly because he can't quite remember where he is at first. All hotel rooms start to look the same after awhile and he's stayed in more hotel rooms than the average person.
The noise is coming from the door. He gets out of bed and pads over to the door, tugging a shirt on over his head as he goes. He checks the judas hole out of habit, he's mostly outgrown crazy, stalking fans, but he's found that they show up in the unlikeliest of places. He really doesn't want this to be one of them. When he sees who it is, he thinks that he'd rather have had the fan.
With a sigh, he opens the door to his brother and David on the other side. "What do you want?"
"Good morning to you too, Nicholas," Joe says cheerfully as he pushes his way into the room. "We aren't interrupting anything are we?"
Nick frowns, motions for David to come in. "What did you think you were going to be interrupting besides me getting some much needed sleep?"
"Oh, I didn't think," Joe says. "I hoped. Alas, it appears to have been in vain."
Nick looks at his brother blankly. He knows Joe is speaking English, he recognizes all the words, but none of them make any sense all strung together.
"He was hoping you got laid," David elaborates at the sight of Nick's face. "But there's no girl. Or boy. Maybe you're into boys now, I don't know."
Nick scrubs his hands across his face. This is all a horrible nightmare, it has to be. He's going to close his eyes and count to ten and when he opens them, he's going to be back in bed, and none of this will have ever happened. He closes his eyes and starts to count silently to himself.
Of course Joe doesn't let him get that far. A pair of jeans lands on his head before he even gets to six. "What the fuck?" he splutters as he pulls them down. "Why would you do that?"
Joe shrugs. "Because. Get dressed, Nicky boy, we're going to breakfast."
"No, you're leaving and I'm going back to sleep."
Joe looks at him pityingly. "You don't really think that's going to happen, do you?"
Nick doesn't. But that doesn't mean he doesn't curse god for not making him an only child as he's drug out the door. That would be asking too much.
***
They end up in a diner, the kind that has vinyl seats and surly waitresses. Joe and David are in heaven; Nick's still upset about being forced to get out of bed.
A waitress slaps menus down on the table in front of them, pours coffee and leaves. Nick appreciates the efficiency. And the coffee. He reads the menu while Joe and David fight over who gets access to the sugar first. Joe wins.
"So Nick," Joe says as he dumps in about five sugar packets into his coffee. "How did things go with Miley last night? I couldn't help but --" David gives Joe a look and Joe slides the sugar across the table and continues. "-- right, we couldn't help but notice that the two of you were talking for an awfully long time."
"All alone," David says, stirring his coffee. "It was downright intimate, wouldn't you say, Joe?"
"Did you two practice this?" Nick grumbles, taking another drink of his own coffee. He searches in vain for the waitress, hoping for an easy way out of this conversation, but he knows that no relief will be forthcoming. She'll be back when she wants to be back and not a minute sooner.
David and Joe trade glances. "Practice?" Joe says. "Us? I"m hurt by that, Nicholas."
Nick snorts.
Joe ignores him. "So anyway. Miley."
"We're not asking for all the juicy details or anything," David says. He frowns. "Well, actually we are. But not in a girly way."
The waitress shows up at that exact moment. Nick has never been so happy to see a disgruntled service worker before in his life. He makes a mental note to leave a really big tip. "What'll you have?" she demands, looking around the table with a menacing look.
Nick takes a small amount of satisfaction in the fear on Joe and David's faces.
They all order and the waitress leaves. Nick drinks more coffee. Joe and David stare at him expectantly.
Finally Nick sighs and puts down his coffee cup. "If I give you something, will you shut up about it and we can move on to other topics like the fact that Joe's been sitting on an engagement ring for at least two months?"
Joe nods and David starts to, but then what Nick said sinks in. His head snaps towards Joe and he looks at him with shock. "What? You've been holding out on me, Jonas."
Joe glares at Nick. "Thanks, little brother."
Nick shrugs even as he laughs. "You deserved it"
"Excuse me?" David says. "Engagement ring?"
There's something close to panic in Joe's eyes. Nick probably shouldn't be so amused by this. "Look," Joe says, pointing towards the kitchen doors. "Breakfast!"
"Saved by the hashbrowns," David quips, and then the waitress is dumping their plates on the table and they all dig into the food. All thought of anything else vanishes, along with their breakfasts.
Nick's more than a little relieved.
###
Life goes back to normal. Joe and Demi go back to New York. David and Selena go back to L.A. Nick goes back to Chicago. Miley keeps going over to Taylor's to write and rehearse, and it's like nothing at all has changed.
Except everything has.
It all starts innocently enough. She's in the checkout line at the grocery store when her phone vibrates in her pocket. She switches her basket to the other hand and digs the phone out, pressing the buttons to view the text. It's only one word, but suddenly there's a fluttering in her stomach that she thought she'd outgrown. It's ridiculous, she lectures herself silently. The word "hi" should not cause this kind of reaction. She's supposed to be an --
"Miss?" the cashier says loudly. "You're next."
Miley blinks. "I'm so sorry," she babbles, dropping the phone in her purse and putting her basket on the conveyor belt. She makes an apologetic gesture at the people in line behind her. "I'm sorry."
Everyone ignores her. She watches the cashier scan and bag her groceries, trying to force herself not to think about what any of it means. Could mean. It might be nothing. Probably is nothing. She sees the cashier finish and pulls out her wallet. She swipes her debit card and the cashier hands over her bags and Miley bolts. She dumps the groceries in the passenger seat and pulls out her phone again.
What it says hasn't changed, even if part of her expected it to disappear like it had never happened at all.
"Hi."
One word. One syllable. A greeting used by millions of people every day. It's a nothing word, one used without intent or purpose.
But this means something. It does. She knows it does. She knows he means it to mean something.
She takes a deep breath. Types in a reply. Hits send.
She drops her phone back into her purse and puts the keys in the ignition. It's his move. She hopes there's an answer when she gets home.
***
They start texting each other several times a day. It's never about anything serious, just quick mentions of how their days are going, what they had for dinner, what movie they just watched.
Words like "I miss you" or "I think I might still love you" are not said. Miley tries not to think them either. Where they are is good. They're rebuilding a friendship lost to time and distance and bad timing, and that can't be fixed with scotch tape and a smile. She knows that.
She's just never been very good at waiting.
Most of her wants to tell someone, anyone, about what's going on, but a smaller part, the part where common sense and remembered disappointments lives, tells her to keep it to herself. To wait and see if maybe this is more than merely rekindled friendship. She's ninety-eight percent sure she wants it to be more. She has no idea what Nick is thinking.
One day her phone rings while she's loading the dishwasher. She almost drops a glass in her haste to get to the phone. (She really hates loading the dishwasher.) Nick's name is flashing next to the words incoming call and she can't help it, she freezes. Suddenly the stakes seem that much higher.
She answers. "Hello?"
"Miley," Nick says. She thinks he might sound nervous. "Hi."
"Hi," she echoes stupidly. Her heart is beating absurdly fast. "What's up?"
"Nothing," he says, and she swears she can almost see him shrugging. "I just thought we'd try something new."
She leans back against the counter. "Oh, I don't know that this is new. I remember doing this a lot." Right after she says it, she wishes she could call the words back. They've been very careful to keep things in the here and now, to avoid mentions of their past. And the first time he calls, she goes and ruins it.
"You're right," he says. "We did."
Miley blinks. Did he just admit she was right about something? "Can you repeat that?" she asks. "I want to find a tape recorder. Save that for posterity."
He laughs, low and deep. A shiver goes down Miley's spine. She ignores it. "Sorry, that was a one time only thing," he says.
"Mean."
"You know you like it."
She does, but she's certainly not going to tell him that. "So really, you just decided the time was right to call?"
"Yeah," he says. "Wait, is that okay? Should I have not called?" He sounds anxious. She didn't mean to make him anxious. Especially if it means he won't call again.
"No, no," she says hurriedly. "It's fine. It's good. It's more than good. I'm glad you called."
"Really?"
"Really."
There's a silence. It's less awkward than Miley thinks it should be. But eventually she feels compelled to fill it, silence is another thing she's never been good at.
"Did I tell you that Taylor's setting up some kind of mini-tour?"
"No. That's awesome, Miles." He pauses. "That is awesome, right?"
She laughs. "It is," she assures him. "I'm excited about it. Less excited about living in hotel rooms and out of a suitcase, but excited nonetheless." She hesitates. "You should come to one of the shows, maybe. I think we're doing one in Chicago."
"I'll be there," he says with no hesitation at all. "Or where ever. Just let me know."
Miley can feel a ball of happiness unfurling in her stomach. This talking thing is wonderful, she doesn't know why they didn't try it sooner. "Really?"
"Really."
She smiles, more than a little foolishly she's sure, and somehow manages to resist the urge to dance around her kitchen. She sees the clock on the microwave out of the corner of her eye. "Shoot."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm supposed to meet Taylor to plan some more stuff, do you mind? I can call to --"
"Go," Nick orders. "We'll talk later."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
She knows Nick always tries to keep his promises. "Okay, I'm going. Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm so glad you called."
She hangs up before he can say goodbye. As she dances out her front door, she is very glad that she lives by herself and that no one is around to see it. Because she's pretty sure she looks completely ridiculous. It's totally worth it.
###
Nick's asleep in bed when his phone rings. He fumbles for it out of habit, not because of any real desire to answer it. "What?" he mumbles into the phone.
"I'm engaged!"
Nick sits straight up, rubbing at his eyes. "Joe?" That was Joe's voice, wasn't it? Saying he was engaged? Nick's not awake enough for this.
"Do you have another brother that could possibly be calling to tell you that he's engaged?"
"Not unless there's something Frankie's not telling me," Nick retorts. He smiles. "Congratulations, man. To you and to Demi, though I still think she could have done better."
"Hey!"
Suddenly Demi's voice is on the line, "Thanks, Nick, but I already knew that. I've told him that before, but he keeps on following me home, so I may as well keep him."
"As long as you know," Nick says.
"I'm standing right here," Joe says. Nick can hear the pout in his voice. He rolls his eyes, knowing something disgusting is just around the corner.
And sure enough, he hears Demi say, "Aw, you know I love you," in the background and the sound of kissing through the phone.
"Guys?" he tries. "Still here."
"Right," Joe says, sounding more like himself again. "Sorry. Well, not really, but I know you're all alone right now and I don't want to rub it in."
"Thanks, Joe."
"Anytime, little brother. We're going to go, we have more people to call and wake up to share the good news, but we wanted to tell you first."
"I'm glad you did," Nick says. "And Joe, really. Congratulations. To both of you."
"Thanks. Later."
"Later."
Nick drops the phone back on the nightstand and lays back down, folding his arms back behind his head. He'd known this was coming, of course, he was there when Joe picked out the ring. But knowing it's actually happened, that's so much more final somehow.
Kevin's married, with two great kids. Joe's about to get married. Frankie's got another year of high school left and then college. His brothers are all growing up and moving on, and he's been standing still, letting life happen to him.
He's done with that now. From now on, he's going to steer the course. And he's pretty sure he knows where he wants to start.
###
Miley hangs up the phone with a sigh. She's happy for Joe and Demi -- thrilled really. They're two of her absolute favorite people in the world and they're right together in a way that makes her hopeful that there's someone that right out there for everyone. (She knows who that right person is for her. She's always known.) And when she was on the phone with Demi, she'd been happy and bubbly and all the things that you're supposed to be when one of your best friends, if not your best friend, tells you that they're getting married.
Moving back to Nashville was the absolute right thing to do, she's certain of that. She's happy for the first time in years. She has a new purpose in life, closer relationships with her friends and family than she has in longer than she can remember, but something is still missing.
She's still alone. She's tired of being alone. She wants to be with Nick.
"I want to be with Nick," she says aloud, the words echoing off the walls, filling the emptiness of the silent room. If nothing else, she's admitted it to herself now. Oh, she's known for weeks now where she wanted this renewal of their friendship to lead, but this is the first time she's actually let herself admit it. She didn't want to get ahead of herself, she didn't want to rush. She didn't want to make it more than it was, she didn't want to be wrong.
She's ninety-five percent sure that Nick feels the same way, but it's the five percent that gnaws at her mind, that makes her hold back, keep some part of her heart for herself. She's had her heart broken too many times by Nick the boy, and she feels sure that Nick the man could shatter it forever.
She thinks he could hold it forever, if only he wanted to. She hopes he wants to.
She picks up the phone. Presses four, the number he's worked his way up to on her speed dial. Lets the phone ring.
Someone told her once, with great risk comes great reward. She's ready to start taking risks again. She wants the rewards.
###
Kevin and Danielle throw the engagement party and they all descend on Dallas. The party is on a Saturday, and Nick flies in on Thursday. He's nervous. He's certain that something is about to happen, he can feel it in the air. Things with him and Miley, there's a tension that wasn't there in the beginning. It's as if every word they speak brings them closer to something, something neither of them has said out loud yet.
He thinks he's ready to say them out loud.
He stays with his parents for this visit. Whether or not they'll admit it (and they won't), the last thing that Kevin and Danielle need with party guests about to invade their home is extra house guests. Still, it’s strange staying with his parents. When he stays with Kevin and Danielle, he doesn’t think twice about staying in a guest bedroom, there’s nowhere else he’d expect to sleep. But when he stays with his parents, he’s very conscious of the fact that he’s a visitor in a place that he used to call home. He still has a room, of course, but it’s not his, not in the way it was when he was a teenager. It’s strange, the things that make him feel like an adult.
The night of the party, he drives over with Joe and Demi. He’d meant to drive over with his parents and Frankie (and Frankie’s girlfriend and that’s another thing that makes Nick feel old), but somehow he’d forgotten what it was like to share a bathroom with Joe and Joe’s hair. Nick had never stood a chance of being ready on time, let alone early.
When they all get to the party, the house is already crowded with people. Joe and Demi are immediately swept off into the masses by Danielle, but Nick is left to his own devices. He’s fine with that; he really only has one thing on his mind.
He needs to find Miley.
He finally finds her standing next to the window in the great room, chatting animatedly with Taylor and John. She’s wearing a strapless blue dress, her hair loose and tumbling down around her shoulders. There’s a wide smile on her face and she’s talking with her hands, nearly spilling the glass of red wine in her right hand again and again.
Somehow it’s the perfect blend of who she was and who she is, and he knows in that moment that he’s never stopped loving her. He’s never going to stop loving her.
More than anything else, he wants to tell her. But he knows that this isn’t the time. It’s Joe and Demi’s moment and he can’t take that away from them, even if they’d approve and be happy about it.
He takes a deep breath and pushes his feelings back under. He can wait. He makes himself smile and goes to say hello.
Just because he can wait, doesn’t mean he can’t talk to her. He deserves at least that.
###
Miley feels Nick walk into the room. She’s always had a sixth sense where he’s concerned, able to tell when he was watching her from afar, even if she didn’t know from where. She can feel him hesitating and she can feel when he decides to join them.
Still, when he touches her, presses his palm against her back, burning her skin through the thin material of her dress, it’s a surprise. She doesn’t know why she’s surprised that he can still undo her with a touch; she’s always known he could do that, too.
She hears him talking to John and Taylor, but she’s too conscious of the hand that’s still on her back to know what he’s saying. She hopes no one is talking to her, because she’s sure she wouldn’t actually be able to answer in words.
She sneaks a glance up at Nick’s face. It’s the same, but it’s different somehow. The jaw that she traced her fingers across a thousand times is the same, but it’s stronger now, the set of it more resolved. The freckles on his cheeks are still there, but she can no longer see the patterns in them that she used to know by heart. She wonders if she could relearn them. He still has the curls that she tangled her hands in a million times, but they’re shorter and she doesn’t remember how they felt under her hands. His eyes are the same, but with something else behind them. She thinks it might be wisdom and she wants to know what he’s learned. If it’s something she can learn from him.
Someone coughs, and she blinks the room back into focus. John and Taylor are smiling at her indulgently and Nick’s looking back at her with heat in his eyes. She feels the embarrassment at being caught staring first, but there’s an answering pull of heat low in her stomach.
“Sorry,” she says, shaking her head to try to clear the lust that’s suddenly fogging her brain.
“We’re just going to go,” Taylor says and she grabs John’s hand and drags him away, leaving Miley alone with Nick which is both the last and only place that she wants to be. She thinks it’s strange the way that happens.
Miley looks back up at Nick. He’s still looking at her like she’s the only thing in the world that he sees. It’s a look she remembers, it’s a look she never thought she’d see again.
She licks her lips unconsciously. Nick’s eyes get darker.
“Miley,” he says and she shifts just a little closer. His fingers are tracing absent patterns on her back now. It feels like he’s branding her, staking a claim, taking back what’s always been his. She wishes that he’d hurry up and take the rest of her, too.
“Miley,” he says again and his palm flattens against her back, drawing her into him. He starts to bend his head and she thinks that this is it. His breath ghosts against her lips and then she hears someone say his name.
He straightens quickly, pulling his hand back like they’re teenagers getting caught doing something they shouldn’t again. She misses his heat.
###
“What the - -“ Nick says, looking around the room for the source of the interruption. When he finds them, he’s going to kill them, Nick knows that for certain. He doesn’t let himself look down at Miley. He knows what will happen if he does.
Someone claps him on the shoulder, Nick spins around to face them. “Kevin,” he says with annoyance. “What is it?”
Kevin raises an eyebrow at him. “Nice to see you, too.” He smiles at Miley. “Hey, Miles.”
“Hi, Kevin,” she says. Nick looks down at her and her face is totally composed, as if they weren’t about to kiss five seconds before. She’s always been a better actress than she’s given credit for.
Kevin looks back at Nick. “Time for your toast,” he says. “Remember, Joe and Demi, the whole reason we’re all here. You said you’d give a toast.”
“Right,” Nick says. “The toast. Sure. Let’s do this.” He glances back down at Miley. “I’ll find you after?” He says it like it’s a question, but they both know it’s not.
She nods.
He lets his fingers drag across her arm as Kevin leads him away. He feels her eyes follow him out of the room. He hopes this is fast.
***
Kevin leads him to the great room, where Joe and Demi are standing in front of the fireplace, both of them wearing bemused smiles.
"Are we having fun yet?" he asks as he joins them. He knows he was. At least until Kevin showed up.
"My cheeks hurt from too much smiling and Joe's mad that every time he tries to eat someone takes his food away," Demi informs him. "But other than that, we're just super."
Nick laughs. "Too much smiling?" he teases, already in a better mood. "That's a fate worse than death."
"I stopped acting for a reason," she says, frowning at him. "Being told to smile on command is so not my thing."
"And why won't they let me eat?" Joe demands. "This party is supposed to be about me -- about us," he corrects, at the sight of Demi's arched eyebrow. "Don't I deserve food?"
Nick catches sight of Kevin and Danielle moving towards them. "Well, you'd both better start smiling, Kevin and Dani are heading this way."
Both of them instantly plaster smiles on their faces and Nick smothers another laugh as Kevin and Danielle come stand next to him.
"Are you two having a good time?" Danielle asks anxiously.
Both Joe and Demi nod.
"Definitely," Demi says.
"It's a great party," Joe agrees. "Thanks, both of you."
Danielle smiles with relief. "Oh, thank god."
Nick turns another laugh into a cough. Joe's acting lessons really have paid off. Kevin thumps him on the back.
"Alright, Nick?" he asks.
Now Nick's coughing for real. "Just need a minute," he manages. He takes giant, gasping breaths, sucking in air, trying to get back to normal. Someone passes him a glass, and he takes a tiny sip of water. It helps. "Thanks," he says gratefully, before taking another drink. The coughing stops. He gives a sigh of relief.
"Maybe we should get this show on the road before Nick chokes to death," Kevin says. Everyone nods, and Kevin takes a step forward. "If I could have your attention," he says loudly, and most of the chatter in the room comes to a halt. "Thank you," he says. "As you all know, we're gathered together to celebrate Joe and Demi's engagement today. It's a day we've long suspected was coming and Demi's always been like a part of the family, but it's nice to make that official." There's scattered applause and Kevin pauses. "Now, if you can spare your attention for a few minutes longer, Nick is going to say a few words. Nick?"
He steps to the front of the group and instantly spots Miley standing in the doorway. He makes himself look away, certain that he won't be able to get through this if he's staring at her, equally certain that he won't be able to help himself. "Like Kevin said," he starts. "This day has been a long time coming. In fact, I'm pretty sure that most of us knew it was coming before they did."
The crowd laughs and when he looks back over his shoulder, Joe and Demi have the grace to look sheepish. Nick smiles.
"And like Kevin said," he continues. "Demi's been part of our family for a long time. Since we were all teenagers, really, since before there was a Joe and Demi. Even back then, we could see that Joe and Demi had a special relationship, one that was different from the one that she shared with me, or with Kevin. It was something that you just knew could be special one day if they'd just get out of their own ways and let it be." He pauses, finds Miley's eyes in the crowd. "And when Joe called me one day and said, 'Nick, I'm in love with Demi', I wasn't in the least bit surprised. Because I'd always known. I was just relieved that they'd finally gotten out of their own ways and let themselves be. Because I knew that's all it would take for them to be happy." He pauses, takes a quick look back over his shoulder at Joe and Demi, sees Demi sniffling just a little. He looks back at Miley, raises his glass. "So here's to getting out of your own way. And here's to Joe and Demi. Welcome to the family, Dem."
"Here's to Joe and Demi," the crowd echoes back at him, raising their glasses. He drinks. Everyone in the crowd follows suit.
He turns back to his brothers and Demi launches herself into his arms, hugging him tight. "That was beautiful," she sniffles. She draws back, pats him on the cheek. "And I certainly hope you're going to listen to your own advice."
He nods, not even pretending to not know what she's talking about. He looks at his brother. "Joe."
"Nicholas," Joe says, stepping forward and giving him a hug. He wraps Nick on the back once, sharply. "Get out of your own way."
Nick nods again. "I will." He cocks his head to the side. "Now if you'll all excuse me..."
"Go," Demi orders, making shooing motions with her hands. "I don't want to see you again tonight, you hear?"
Nick grins. "I am so glad you're going to be my sister," he says, bending his head to kiss her cheek quickly. He turns, intent on heading for the door, for Miley, but she's not there any longer. He squares his shoulders and goes after her. It's past time he got out of his own way.
***
He finds Miley sitting outside, on the front steps. He doesn't say a word, just settles down next to her, so that they're sitting hip to hip. Her skin is hot against his. He resists touching, barely.
"That was beautiful," she says finally.
He starts, not sure if he's been sitting there for five minutes or five seconds. "It was all true," he says, sneaking a glance at her profile.
She nods, just once. She reaches over and takes his hand. "Come with me."
She stands, not waiting for an answer. He follows, just like she had to know he would. She leads him to a car parked on the street, slips behind the wheel. He sits in the passenger seat. She starts the car and they drive away.
###
Miley takes him back to her hotel. It feels right somehow, like the only place this can end. They haven't said a word or made any promises, but from the moment he touched her tonight, somehow she always knew it would end with him in her bed.
As much as she wants the words and the feelings, at this exact moment, she wants him in her bed more. If he doesn't put his hands on her soon, finish what he started with a press of his hand and a heated look, she's going to lose her mind.
They don't touch as the elevator rises. They just stand side by side, the air between them charged with electricity. When the elevator doors open to her floor, she takes his hand and leads him down the hall to her room. She fumbles with the key, she can feel him behind her, his warmth enveloping her. His breath hits her ear and she shivers just a little. The door opens and she almost falls through.
He reaches out, steadies her, even as he's following her inside. The door closes. She turns to face him and she sees him open his mouth to speak. She doesn't let him; she kisses him instead.
If she startles him, he doesn't show it. He just kisses her back, folding his arms around her, drawing her into him. She presses back against him, twining her hands in his hair.
It's like coming home; it's like nowhere she's ever been. She wants to stay here for the rest of her life.
They stumble their way toward the bed, neither willing to stop touching the other for even a second. She learns the ways that the planes of his shoulders have changed, been reshaped. He traces the new curves of her body, rediscovering the places that still make her arch into him and finding new ones all at once. Her hands slip beneath the hem of his shirt and he shudders, just like he used to. It makes her happy that some things don't change.
She falls back onto the bed, Nick looming above her. She scoots backward, pulling him down with her. As she moves back, her skirt bunches up around her thighs. He traces the newly exposed skin with his hands, leaving goosebumps in his wake. She works frantically at unbuttoning his shirt, needing to touch more of his skin. He helps her push the shirt off his shoulders, she turns her back so that he can draw down the zipper of her dress. He does it slowly, pressing kisses along the length of her spine as more and more skin is revealed. When he's finished, he helps peel the fabric away, leaving her practically bare before his hot gaze.
She thinks she should be self-conscious, he hasn't seen her like this since she was nineteen years old, but somehow it's the most natural thing in the world. When she pulls him down on top of her and they meet, skin to skin, it feels like the most right thing Miley's ever done. He reaches behind her to unfasten her bra, she fumbles with his belt buckle. She shoves his pants down his hips, palming him through the cotton of his boxers. He hisses and suddenly things become urgent.
They separate for seconds only, each rushing to remove the rest of their clothes, before they twine themselves back together. He suckles at her breast, she strokes his cock. Their skin is sweaty, pressed together, moving against each other. A hand snakes down her body, presses between her legs. Her flesh is slippery against his fingers and she arches into the touch as he slips one finger, than another inside her. She squirms restlessly as he touches her; his thumb grazes her clit and her hips buck up against his hand.
"Now," she says. It is the only word either of them has spoken.
He draws back, fumbling for his pants. She watches him through heavy eyes, anxious to have his hands back on her, anxious to have him inside her. He finds his wallet, draws out a condom. She sits up, takes it from him. She tears open the package, rolls it onto him slowly, deliberately. She watches him, sees the moment when his eyes close and his teeth grit. She smiles. The moment she's finished, he's pushing her back onto the sheets. He slides inside her, holding her gaze, daring her to look away. She doesn't.
They move together. Her hands grasp at his back, her nails digging into his shoulders. She knows she is leaving marks and is glad of it. He bends his head, pressing open mouthed kisses along her collarbone. He slides a hand between their bodies, finds her clit again, and suddenly she's going off like a rocket. She moans his name as she comes, raking her nails against his back, tangling a hand in his hair. She feels him thrust once, twice more and then he's following her off the edge, her name against his lips as he does.
She strokes her hand gently against his back as he comes back to himself. He rolls off her and out of bed, she assumes to get rid of the condom. When he comes back, he slides back into bed, gathering her to him. She lets him cuddle her against his chest, wraps a leg around his. He turns his head toward her, burying his face in her hair. She feels the moment he drifts off to sleep.
She lies awake in the dark, trying not to wonder if despite everything she's just made a horrible mistake.
###
When Nick wakes up in the morning, Miley is gone. Her bags are gone and there's a note on her pillow. That, and the lingering smell of her perfume, are the only signs that the night before wasn't all a dream.
Nick reads the note. It's short, simple. Just two sentences. Please forgive me, it says. I'll call.
He doesn't notice as the paper crumples in his fist.
[Part Four]