fic: snake eyes (gh, scrubs and family, lanaverse)
Title: Snake Eyes
Author: empressearwig
Claim: Robin/Patrick
Fandom: General Hospital
Theme: 13 - Pets
Disclaimer: Any character first appearing on the series General Hospital does not belong to me.
An ear piercing scream shattered the relative peace of the house.
Robin and Patrick were in the kitchen enjoying their morning coffee before their children invaded to eat breakfast before heading off to school. They looked at each other in panic. Yelling was normal for their house, screams of terror were not.
In unison, they ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs to find their daughter standing in the hall wrapped in a towel, hair wet and stringy.
“What happened?” Patrick demanded.
Lana just pointed at the closed bathroom door and shuddered.
Patrick opened the door cautiously, poking his head inside. “What am I looking for Lana?” he asked impatiently, pushing the door farther open and stepping inside. “Because if there’s not a good reason…”
He yelped, jumping backwards.
“See?” Lana retorted smugly.
“What on earth is going on?” Robin questioned, joining Patrick in the bathroom. She spotted the snake that was slithering around in the bathtub. “Ah.”
“Ah? Is that all you’re going to say, ah?” Patrick pouted. “Couldn’t you pretend to be freaked out by the snake?”
“No, that’s not all I’m going to say,” Robin said, rolling her eyes at him. “Matthew!” she bellowed. “Get your butt in here right now!” Turning back to Patrick, she laughed at the expression of terror on his face. “Do you not remember our trip to the Maarkham Islands? I’m not the one that’s afraid of snakes.”
Matt stumbled out of his bedroom still dressed in his pajamas. He blinked his sleep heavy eyes at the crowd in the hallway. “What happened?”
“Matt, why is there a snake in the bathroom?” Robin asked sternly.
“A snake?” Matt looked confused.
“Don’t pretend it isn’t yours, twerp,” Lana said angrily. “That thing scared the hell out of me while I was in the shower, and now I’m going to be late.”
“Lana, go use our bathroom,” Robin instructed. “You can finish getting ready for school in there. I promise there are no snakes.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Lana said gratefully, glaring one last time at her younger brother before flouncing down the hall to her parents’ bedroom.
“The snake, Matthew?” Robin prompted.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matt insisted.
“Come here,” Robin ordered, stepping back so he could join them in the bathroom.
He shuffled forward, and looked down where Robin was pointing. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Robin repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Does that mean you do know something about the snake?”
“Yes?” Matt said, looking up at his mother and smiling sheepishly, hoping to charm his way out of trouble.
Her arms folded across her chest. “Talk.”
“I found him outside and brought him up to my bedroom,” Matt explained. “I thought it was dead.”
“You brought a dead snake inside?” Patrick asked. “Why?”
Matt shrugged. “I thought it was cool.”
“Matthew,” Robin groaned.
“I’m sorry?” he tried, adopting his best ‘I know I did something wrong, but you love me anyway’ expression.
“You’re charming, but you’re not that charming, kiddo,” Robin laughed, ruffling his hair.
“Give it time,” Patrick advised. “You’ll grow into it.”
Robin turned to glare at her husband. “Do not give him advice about how to get his way right now.”
“No, please do, Dad!”
Robin let out a strangled groan. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” she said, mostly to herself.
Patrick laughed, and wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You love us and you know it.”
“Want to bet?”
Matt watched his parents banter carefully. If they were flirting it usually meant he wasn’t in trouble after all. He decided to check to see. “Should I go get ready for school?”
Robin turned back to him, eyes narrowed. “Nicely done.”
He let out a deflated sigh. “So that’s a no?”
“No, that’s a yes, but you’re still in trouble for bringing a snake into the house.”
“But I thought it was dead!”
“What were you going to do with a dead snake?” Robin asked, trying for a reasonable tone of voice.
He shrugged. “Show it to my friends? I bet Sean would think it’s cool.”
“Leaving aside what Sean would think was cool…”
“I don’t know, okay?”
Defeated, Robin gave in. “Okay. Go get ready for school.”
“Fine,” Matt grumbled, turning around and heading back to his bedroom. Something occurred to him and he turned back around to face his parents. “Hey, what are you going to do with it?”
Patrick blinked. “With the snake?”
Matt nodded.
Robin and Patrick exchanged looks.
“Put it back in the yard, I guess,” Robin said suspiciously. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”
“Could I maybe keep it?” Matt asked quickly, hopeful expression on his face. “I can’t have a dog or anything because of Lana’s allergies, but she’s not allergic to snakes, is she?”
“No,” Robin said slowly.
“Well, then can I keep it? Please?”
Patrick and Robin exchanged dubious looks.
“Please?” Matt begged. “Please?”
Robin sighed. “We’ll talk about it. Go get ready for school.”
Sensing that it was the best he could do, Matt ran back down the hall to his bedroom.
Patrick looked at Robin with panic in his eyes. “A snake?”
Robin shrugged. “Like I said, we’ll talk about it.”
“So what are we going to do with it in the meantime?”
“You mean what am I going to do with it in the meantime,” Robin corrected. “Scardy-pants.”
Patrick shuddered. “Damn straight.”
She laughed. “Go make breakfast. I’ll deal with the snake.”
“And that’s why I love you.” Patrick grinned at her and pressed a swift kiss to her lips, before running out of the room as quickly as he could without seeming like a wimp.
She laughed again and bent down to look at the snake in the bathtub, which was slithering around, making itself at home. “What the hell am I going to do with you?” she asked to no one in particular.
Patrick was going to owe her big time for this.
Big time.
Author: empressearwig
Claim: Robin/Patrick
Fandom: General Hospital
Theme: 13 - Pets
Disclaimer: Any character first appearing on the series General Hospital does not belong to me.
An ear piercing scream shattered the relative peace of the house.
Robin and Patrick were in the kitchen enjoying their morning coffee before their children invaded to eat breakfast before heading off to school. They looked at each other in panic. Yelling was normal for their house, screams of terror were not.
In unison, they ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs to find their daughter standing in the hall wrapped in a towel, hair wet and stringy.
“What happened?” Patrick demanded.
Lana just pointed at the closed bathroom door and shuddered.
Patrick opened the door cautiously, poking his head inside. “What am I looking for Lana?” he asked impatiently, pushing the door farther open and stepping inside. “Because if there’s not a good reason…”
He yelped, jumping backwards.
“See?” Lana retorted smugly.
“What on earth is going on?” Robin questioned, joining Patrick in the bathroom. She spotted the snake that was slithering around in the bathtub. “Ah.”
“Ah? Is that all you’re going to say, ah?” Patrick pouted. “Couldn’t you pretend to be freaked out by the snake?”
“No, that’s not all I’m going to say,” Robin said, rolling her eyes at him. “Matthew!” she bellowed. “Get your butt in here right now!” Turning back to Patrick, she laughed at the expression of terror on his face. “Do you not remember our trip to the Maarkham Islands? I’m not the one that’s afraid of snakes.”
Matt stumbled out of his bedroom still dressed in his pajamas. He blinked his sleep heavy eyes at the crowd in the hallway. “What happened?”
“Matt, why is there a snake in the bathroom?” Robin asked sternly.
“A snake?” Matt looked confused.
“Don’t pretend it isn’t yours, twerp,” Lana said angrily. “That thing scared the hell out of me while I was in the shower, and now I’m going to be late.”
“Lana, go use our bathroom,” Robin instructed. “You can finish getting ready for school in there. I promise there are no snakes.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Lana said gratefully, glaring one last time at her younger brother before flouncing down the hall to her parents’ bedroom.
“The snake, Matthew?” Robin prompted.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matt insisted.
“Come here,” Robin ordered, stepping back so he could join them in the bathroom.
He shuffled forward, and looked down where Robin was pointing. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Robin repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Does that mean you do know something about the snake?”
“Yes?” Matt said, looking up at his mother and smiling sheepishly, hoping to charm his way out of trouble.
Her arms folded across her chest. “Talk.”
“I found him outside and brought him up to my bedroom,” Matt explained. “I thought it was dead.”
“You brought a dead snake inside?” Patrick asked. “Why?”
Matt shrugged. “I thought it was cool.”
“Matthew,” Robin groaned.
“I’m sorry?” he tried, adopting his best ‘I know I did something wrong, but you love me anyway’ expression.
“You’re charming, but you’re not that charming, kiddo,” Robin laughed, ruffling his hair.
“Give it time,” Patrick advised. “You’ll grow into it.”
Robin turned to glare at her husband. “Do not give him advice about how to get his way right now.”
“No, please do, Dad!”
Robin let out a strangled groan. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” she said, mostly to herself.
Patrick laughed, and wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You love us and you know it.”
“Want to bet?”
Matt watched his parents banter carefully. If they were flirting it usually meant he wasn’t in trouble after all. He decided to check to see. “Should I go get ready for school?”
Robin turned back to him, eyes narrowed. “Nicely done.”
He let out a deflated sigh. “So that’s a no?”
“No, that’s a yes, but you’re still in trouble for bringing a snake into the house.”
“But I thought it was dead!”
“What were you going to do with a dead snake?” Robin asked, trying for a reasonable tone of voice.
He shrugged. “Show it to my friends? I bet Sean would think it’s cool.”
“Leaving aside what Sean would think was cool…”
“I don’t know, okay?”
Defeated, Robin gave in. “Okay. Go get ready for school.”
“Fine,” Matt grumbled, turning around and heading back to his bedroom. Something occurred to him and he turned back around to face his parents. “Hey, what are you going to do with it?”
Patrick blinked. “With the snake?”
Matt nodded.
Robin and Patrick exchanged looks.
“Put it back in the yard, I guess,” Robin said suspiciously. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”
“Could I maybe keep it?” Matt asked quickly, hopeful expression on his face. “I can’t have a dog or anything because of Lana’s allergies, but she’s not allergic to snakes, is she?”
“No,” Robin said slowly.
“Well, then can I keep it? Please?”
Patrick and Robin exchanged dubious looks.
“Please?” Matt begged. “Please?”
Robin sighed. “We’ll talk about it. Go get ready for school.”
Sensing that it was the best he could do, Matt ran back down the hall to his bedroom.
Patrick looked at Robin with panic in his eyes. “A snake?”
Robin shrugged. “Like I said, we’ll talk about it.”
“So what are we going to do with it in the meantime?”
“You mean what am I going to do with it in the meantime,” Robin corrected. “Scardy-pants.”
Patrick shuddered. “Damn straight.”
She laughed. “Go make breakfast. I’ll deal with the snake.”
“And that’s why I love you.” Patrick grinned at her and pressed a swift kiss to her lips, before running out of the room as quickly as he could without seeming like a wimp.
She laughed again and bent down to look at the snake in the bathtub, which was slithering around, making itself at home. “What the hell am I going to do with you?” she asked to no one in particular.
Patrick was going to owe her big time for this.
Big time.