Ficlet: Crawl Inside Your Wounds (GH, Brenda, Lainey)
Title: Crawl Inside Your Wounds
Author: empressearwig
Prompt: 59 - Insomnia
Pairing/Character(s): Brenda, Lainey
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mined.
Word Count: 1197
Spoilers/Warnings: Part of the Lana!AU. This story follows The Submerged Truth.
Summary: "Is that why you're here? To be fixed?"
Author's Notes: Written for theechochorus.
“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.” - Tori Amos
Brenda sat cross legged on the couch in Lainey’s office, practically vibrating with nervous energy.
Lainey watched her from the doorway of the office for a moment, before walking in and seating herself on the chair opposite the couch. “It’s nice to see you again, Brenda.”
At the sudden noise, Brenda almost jumped out of her skin. “Do you always try to scare people to death before you try to fix them?” she asked, tugging the sleeves of her sweater down over her hands.
“Is that why you’re here?” Lainey countered, crossing her legs smoothly and opening her notebook. “To be fixed?”
“What? No,” Brenda protested. “I’m here because Robin made me make an appointment. Nothing more.”
“Why did Robin think you needed to come see me?”
Brenda narrowed her eyes. “Because I’ve been having problems sleeping and Robin thinks it’s symptomatic of some unknown trauma in my past.”
“And you think she’s crazy,” Lainey surmised.
Brenda shrugged, and looked out the window of the office. “Doesn’t it sound ridiculous? I’m visiting a place I haven’t been in a long time. Lots of people have problems sleeping in strange locations.”
“You worked as a model for a number of years,” Lainey pointed out. “Did you ever have problems sleeping while traveling in the past?”
“Well, no,” Brenda admitted reluctantly. “But people change, don’t they?”
“Certainly. But your problems sleeping started before you even arrived in Port Charles, didn’t they?”
Lainey could see Brenda stiffen.
When she answered, it was in a tight voice. “Are you really supposed to use information you’ve apparently gotten from other people while treating me?”
“Brenda, Robin is one of my friends. She was concerned about you and mentioned that your problems had started before you came back. If you’re uncomfortable with me as your doctor, I can give you a referral to a different one, one that has less of a personal relationship with Robin.”
“I guess it’s fine,” Brenda said grudgingly. “I’d rather deal with someone I know, even if it’s only a little. Besides, I’m fine.”
“If you say so,” Lainey said, tongue in cheek. “Why can’t you sleep?”
Brenda toyed with the frayed cuff of her jeans. “It started out that I was having these weird dreams, which kept causing me to wake up. Now I don’t think I can sleep because I don’t want to dream.”
“What were the dreams about?”
“I don’t know that they were about anything… all I can ever remember about them is the sound of a baby crying, and I wake up out of breath and shaking.”
Lainey frowned. “A baby crying? Well, if we’re to believe that what happens in your dreams is symbolic, that typically means that something in your life is lacking. That you feel like you need more attention or nurturing. Does any of that sound right?”
Brenda wrinkled her nose. “No. I have a great life. Do you think it sounds right?”
“Well, dream symbolism isn’t my specialty,” Lainey admitted. “But no, it doesn’t sound right. Now, I understand that for a time you thought you had a mental illness that you would have inherited from your mother, correct?”
“Yes,” Brenda said suspiciously. “How did you know about that, more of Robin’s big mouth?”
Lainey laughed, and tapped the file that was sitting on her lap. “Brenda, that’s right here in your medical records. Along with the fact that you were declared dead in 1998 after your car went off a cliff. Do you want to talk about that time in your life?”
Brenda stiffened again. “Not really.”
“Why not?” Lainey pressed gently.
Brenda shrugged. “I don’t really remember a lot of it, so there wouldn’t be a lot to tell.”
“What’s the first thing you remember after the accident?”
Brenda closed her eyes and tried to remember. “I remember being in the hospital or some sort of medical ward for a long time. It’s all blurry. I always assumed I was hurt and suffered some sort of head trauma that was responsible for the memory loss.”
Lainey frowned. “Didn’t you want to know what had happened?”
“I thought I had a disease that was going to make me want to kill myself,” Brenda said flatly. “I didn’t really care what happened to me.”
“Who caused you to think that you had inherited your mother’s condition?”
Brenda crossed her arms across her chest and shivered a little. “Luis Alcazar. He found me after the accident and took care of me. He told me that I had my mother’s illness, and I didn’t want anyone that I loved to see me deteriorate like she had, so I agreed to let him take care of me till I died.”
“What made you change your mind about that?” Lainey asked carefully.
“I realized that I loved them all too much to leave them behind without saying good-bye.”
“And Luis didn’t want to let you go, correct?”
“Yes,” Brenda acknowledged. “But what does that have to do with anything? It’s just more proof of my supremely bad taste in men.”
“Don’t you think that Luis might have done something to you in the time that you don’t remember? Don’t you think that remembering that time might help you get over whatever is wrong with you now?”
“I hadn’t ever thought about it,” Brenda said. “And no, I can’t say I’d ever thought about remembering that time in my life, which I assume was mostly filled with doctors and nurses and the like, but it’s obvious that you think it’s important.”
“I do.” Lainey leaned forward a little in her chair. “I’d like to put you under hypnosis to see if that could help you recover any of the memories you’re missing. Even if they’re not responsible for what you’re dealing with now, I think that knowing what happened to you would help you resolve that period in your life.”
“How would hypnosis work, exactly?” Brenda asked skeptically. “You dangle a watch in front of my eyes and then I spill my guts?”
“Sort of,” Lainey said. “But if you’re uncomfortable with the idea, we can try other ways to recover your missing memories.”
Brenda sighed heavily. “No, I guess I should try this.” She looked down at her watch. “But I think my hours up. I assume you’ll want me to set up another appointment?”
“Probably several,” Lainey said ruefully. “It’s not a quick process, Brenda. It might take some time, but I think it’ll ultimately prove fruitful.”
“If you say so, doc.” Brenda stood, and crossed to the door. “Thanks Lainey.”
Lainey smiled at her. “Anytime. See you next week, alright?”
Brenda nodded and let herself out of the office closing the door behind her.
Lainey looked down at her notes. It might take some time to help Brenda, but Lainey was sure she’d be able to.
She just hoped that she didn’t find anything that would make things worse.
Author: empressearwig
Prompt: 59 - Insomnia
Pairing/Character(s): Brenda, Lainey
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mined.
Word Count: 1197
Spoilers/Warnings: Part of the Lana!AU. This story follows The Submerged Truth.
Summary: "Is that why you're here? To be fixed?"
Author's Notes: Written for theechochorus.
“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.” - Tori Amos
Brenda sat cross legged on the couch in Lainey’s office, practically vibrating with nervous energy.
Lainey watched her from the doorway of the office for a moment, before walking in and seating herself on the chair opposite the couch. “It’s nice to see you again, Brenda.”
At the sudden noise, Brenda almost jumped out of her skin. “Do you always try to scare people to death before you try to fix them?” she asked, tugging the sleeves of her sweater down over her hands.
“Is that why you’re here?” Lainey countered, crossing her legs smoothly and opening her notebook. “To be fixed?”
“What? No,” Brenda protested. “I’m here because Robin made me make an appointment. Nothing more.”
“Why did Robin think you needed to come see me?”
Brenda narrowed her eyes. “Because I’ve been having problems sleeping and Robin thinks it’s symptomatic of some unknown trauma in my past.”
“And you think she’s crazy,” Lainey surmised.
Brenda shrugged, and looked out the window of the office. “Doesn’t it sound ridiculous? I’m visiting a place I haven’t been in a long time. Lots of people have problems sleeping in strange locations.”
“You worked as a model for a number of years,” Lainey pointed out. “Did you ever have problems sleeping while traveling in the past?”
“Well, no,” Brenda admitted reluctantly. “But people change, don’t they?”
“Certainly. But your problems sleeping started before you even arrived in Port Charles, didn’t they?”
Lainey could see Brenda stiffen.
When she answered, it was in a tight voice. “Are you really supposed to use information you’ve apparently gotten from other people while treating me?”
“Brenda, Robin is one of my friends. She was concerned about you and mentioned that your problems had started before you came back. If you’re uncomfortable with me as your doctor, I can give you a referral to a different one, one that has less of a personal relationship with Robin.”
“I guess it’s fine,” Brenda said grudgingly. “I’d rather deal with someone I know, even if it’s only a little. Besides, I’m fine.”
“If you say so,” Lainey said, tongue in cheek. “Why can’t you sleep?”
Brenda toyed with the frayed cuff of her jeans. “It started out that I was having these weird dreams, which kept causing me to wake up. Now I don’t think I can sleep because I don’t want to dream.”
“What were the dreams about?”
“I don’t know that they were about anything… all I can ever remember about them is the sound of a baby crying, and I wake up out of breath and shaking.”
Lainey frowned. “A baby crying? Well, if we’re to believe that what happens in your dreams is symbolic, that typically means that something in your life is lacking. That you feel like you need more attention or nurturing. Does any of that sound right?”
Brenda wrinkled her nose. “No. I have a great life. Do you think it sounds right?”
“Well, dream symbolism isn’t my specialty,” Lainey admitted. “But no, it doesn’t sound right. Now, I understand that for a time you thought you had a mental illness that you would have inherited from your mother, correct?”
“Yes,” Brenda said suspiciously. “How did you know about that, more of Robin’s big mouth?”
Lainey laughed, and tapped the file that was sitting on her lap. “Brenda, that’s right here in your medical records. Along with the fact that you were declared dead in 1998 after your car went off a cliff. Do you want to talk about that time in your life?”
Brenda stiffened again. “Not really.”
“Why not?” Lainey pressed gently.
Brenda shrugged. “I don’t really remember a lot of it, so there wouldn’t be a lot to tell.”
“What’s the first thing you remember after the accident?”
Brenda closed her eyes and tried to remember. “I remember being in the hospital or some sort of medical ward for a long time. It’s all blurry. I always assumed I was hurt and suffered some sort of head trauma that was responsible for the memory loss.”
Lainey frowned. “Didn’t you want to know what had happened?”
“I thought I had a disease that was going to make me want to kill myself,” Brenda said flatly. “I didn’t really care what happened to me.”
“Who caused you to think that you had inherited your mother’s condition?”
Brenda crossed her arms across her chest and shivered a little. “Luis Alcazar. He found me after the accident and took care of me. He told me that I had my mother’s illness, and I didn’t want anyone that I loved to see me deteriorate like she had, so I agreed to let him take care of me till I died.”
“What made you change your mind about that?” Lainey asked carefully.
“I realized that I loved them all too much to leave them behind without saying good-bye.”
“And Luis didn’t want to let you go, correct?”
“Yes,” Brenda acknowledged. “But what does that have to do with anything? It’s just more proof of my supremely bad taste in men.”
“Don’t you think that Luis might have done something to you in the time that you don’t remember? Don’t you think that remembering that time might help you get over whatever is wrong with you now?”
“I hadn’t ever thought about it,” Brenda said. “And no, I can’t say I’d ever thought about remembering that time in my life, which I assume was mostly filled with doctors and nurses and the like, but it’s obvious that you think it’s important.”
“I do.” Lainey leaned forward a little in her chair. “I’d like to put you under hypnosis to see if that could help you recover any of the memories you’re missing. Even if they’re not responsible for what you’re dealing with now, I think that knowing what happened to you would help you resolve that period in your life.”
“How would hypnosis work, exactly?” Brenda asked skeptically. “You dangle a watch in front of my eyes and then I spill my guts?”
“Sort of,” Lainey said. “But if you’re uncomfortable with the idea, we can try other ways to recover your missing memories.”
Brenda sighed heavily. “No, I guess I should try this.” She looked down at her watch. “But I think my hours up. I assume you’ll want me to set up another appointment?”
“Probably several,” Lainey said ruefully. “It’s not a quick process, Brenda. It might take some time, but I think it’ll ultimately prove fruitful.”
“If you say so, doc.” Brenda stood, and crossed to the door. “Thanks Lainey.”
Lainey smiled at her. “Anytime. See you next week, alright?”
Brenda nodded and let herself out of the office closing the door behind her.
Lainey looked down at her notes. It might take some time to help Brenda, but Lainey was sure she’d be able to.
She just hoped that she didn’t find anything that would make things worse.