Decadence, or, Why Poland? Part I
First off, a warning: As its title might suggest, this is going to be a long entry.
Secondly: The central thesis of this entry might be exactly the opposite of what you'd think based on the title. I hope that this will attract, rather than repel, readers, some of whom will want to challenge my assumption that they will think they know what this post is about based on the title.
All right then, are we ready?
OK.
It came to me in a flash yesterday, that the keystone of my critique of the Bay Area specifically, and the US in general, is Decadence. To the extent that there is an American "Empire," it is enjoying an unprecedented age of Decadence, and we in the Bay Area are in the forefront of this movement, just as we are generally always situated in the forefront of political and cultural movements. "Enjoying," I say, because let's face it, Decadence is fun.
But -- and this is the part where I'm concerned I will sound like some sort of "moralist" -- I am not, but let's postpone that discussion for just a moment -- there is something sinister at the root of this "Decadence." I am concerned because some of what I'm about to write is sounding like "fire and brimstone, Sodom and Gomorrah" preaching, even when I rehearse it in my head. But what is to be done? Laurence Stern, one of my all-time favorite novelists, made his living as a preacher, and yet was still the most creative writer in the English language for the next 150 years after his death in 1768. Anyway, I'm not a moralist because I am merely interested in observing and documenting this "Decadence" phenomenon, not in reversing it or "saving your souls" or some such insane mumbo-jumbo.
A little etymology, if you will permit me, Ladies and Gentlemen: The word "decadence" is based on the Latin decadere, to decay. The OED defines it as:
"The process of falling away or declining (from a prior state of excellence, vitality, prosperity, etc.); decay; impaired or deteriorated condition."
I found this excerpt from the Wikipedia entry surprisingly enlightening also:
"In modern use, decadence is often defined as a decline in morals and abandonment of the pursuit of ideals. It is typified by the elevation of superficial self-indulgence and intellectual pretension over experience and tradition, and is often considered materialistic."
Now we're getting somewhere. The part about "abandonment of the pursuit of ideals" was an epiphany to me. It came to me suddenly, why, in my own persistent pursuit of "ideals," such as Beauty, Truth, Love, I have failed to capture my heart's true desire. Because I am like a ghost from long ago, a guest who showed up twenty years late for the party, playing by a set of rules that have changed at least a dozen times since I was given them.
I really don't mean to sound bitter, or to adopt the "woe is me" stance. At least, I don't feel trapped by this realization, I feel like there is a way out for me. But more on that later.
For now, back to Decadence. To the extent that there is an American "Empire," it is undergoing right now an age of Decadence. That is to say, it is in decline. The era of American supremacy on the World Stage is coming to a close. Take note, because this is the closest many of you will ever see me come to being "political." Our leadership has failed us, and the outlook for the future does not look bright.
Meanwhile, many of us are fiddling while Rome burns. This is nothing more than the local manifestation of the decline of a civilization. I don't criticize these people though, because they are making the most of their situation, and doing so at least with a smile on their faces. However, my own smile has become like the forced-for-camera variety, and it shows in the photograph.
Maybe this is a good place for a segue into why I want to move to Poland. Many of you have asked, and I apologize that the response I give is sometimes unsatisfying. I don't just want to say "I felt at home there," or "I was happier there," I want to plumb the depths of this feeling and give you something of substance in return for your curiosity. It doesn't make sense to speak of a Polish "Empire" or "Civilization," so let me just say "Poland" is still a good several decades away from its age of Decadence. It is an incredibly fruitful, creative place right now, full of possibility. Artists can still afford to live there, so the arts are thriving. Capitalism has just barely begun to take hold, and there's a feeling over there similar to the optimistic consumerism in the US during the 50's. Yet it would be unfair to Poland to say that a trip there is like going back in time. It is like going back in time, but only superficially. And in some ways, ironically, they are more modern than us. One obvious example is high-speed internet -- they seem to have skipped the compromise of DSL/Cable and gone straight to T1 lines going to the home. But that is superficial too, and not the point of this post.
But wait, you say, I thought you were going to Poland for the girls! What of that? And this is true. But I haven't yet said it exactly this way: I think it will be more natural for me to fall in love there. I am a romantic, and a romantic temperament does not fare well in an age of decadence. A romantic is better suited to an age where "ideals" are considered worthy of pursuit. In the end, it will not be about the "girls," but rather about one. And with her I may not even yet be acquainted. But I'm willing to risk everything for her, whomever she may be, because the spoils of this age of decadence, though I have been fortunate to reap them, have yet left me cold, uninspired, and unsatisfied. Let's call her my Muse, for what better example of the "ideal" every existed in the history of civilization? And she has already inspired me to learn her language. And there is no limit to what she will further inspire in me.