(no subject)
This morning is going pretty well. I have to be really carefull when I'm at work around other people's energy. I have to be very aware of not taking on their problems and cleansing my space often. The last couple of days have been rough...yesterday the roughest. Thing is, when I leave work....I'm fine! When I'm working alone...for the most part...I'm fine! I'm my usuall ball of sunshine.
But I also realize...that it's time to leave this place. I've changed. I've grown. I've out grown this place. I need an enviroment that suits where I'm at right now on an energetic level. I have faith that that job will come through. And I will keep up the faith. It's easy to know when to leave...but it takes courage and faith to compelete the task put before you. I have courage and faith.
I have Tourmaline sitting on my upper back slightly below the neck up my spine. Ahhhhhh...it feels great! And Citrine resting in my belly button. I really is making a difference right now at work. I'm so greatful for the healing energy of gemstones!!
I went to the bookstore last night, a new age one, and they had a speaker there. He had a very strong A type personality...very. It was very interesting to see how people kept their space...or didn't. He randomly, without notice, told his people he had worked on to come up to the front and talk about their experience. Many protested...but went up anyway. One gentleman he called on....said no...the speaker said yes...the gentleman then took a moment and said..let's save it for another time. And that ended that. It was amazying to see how he kept his space. He didn't want to do it...and stood by it. I think being caught off guard had a lot to do with people loosing their space. But still he kept his. It was nice to see that working...
I evntually had to leave. The energy was wierd and way to strong. Very demanding and agressive....in my opinion. But i've learned and have been learning. It doesn't matter why....but if a situation makes me feel uncomfortable....I have every right to walk away. And I've been doing that more and more often. I'm very proud of myself for having the courage to do so.....and taking care of me as well.
I understand just as well the lesson to seeing him. He helps people access their anger and rage. So, his personality is PERFECT. LOL. I've been getting a lot of messages on anger lately. Accessing it. I think for me...it will be communicating what I've never told people. Like talking to my mom and dad...for real. Without placing blame...just expressing how I feel and learning the full story. I want to do that soon...
So many changes! I'm learning to trust myself and stand strong to myself. In the past (even recent), someone I'm close with would want to get together. I wouldn't neccessarly...so I'd say no immediatly. Then....after talking and thinking..and feeling guilty...I'd change my mind and tell them to come on over. Then feeling remorsefull for not listening to myself. Well...last night I did different. I know that I'm not done with me time. This weekend I still want me time. I know this to my core. True girl wanted to see me this weekend and I stuck by knowningness and said that I'm going to be busy (which is true). I felt guilty afer and this morning. But I'm making a decision. Once I say something....stick to it. And to always listen to my inner self and trust that. Know that others may not like it...but I have to take care of me first. So it's ME weekend! Whoohoo! *happy dance*
The other thing that I'm working on changing is the..."Well if you want to....or...If they want to..." Thing that has been my following for years. Now it's going to be....."If I want to. Do I want to?" To listen to my still inner voice and follow it. Self respect. Self love. I am at the center of my space! I am the most important person in my space! *grins*
Blessed day to you all! Remember, there's always something great waiting around the cornor to surprise you.....
----take a peak sometime.........
.............and then boldy embrace it........ It's been waiting for you all along!