Random Thoughts...
I derive such pleaure in learning, growing, and expanding my mind. Sometimes I have difficulty with understanding why others are not as interested in truly understanding life and themselves. I feel this phenomenom is a result of many factors, including systems which do not attempt to give learners the appropriate tools they need to learn and be fully whole, as well as a society which seeks to keep us scared, uninformed, and unaware.
I want to break free from this. I do not want to live my life within a series of unquestioned routines. I want to question habits, thoughts, behaviors, etc. to become my complete self. I know this will never be stagnant, at least I hope. I will strive to always question myself and what is around me. At the same time, I want to live in the moment by appreciating the beauty which exists in our world.
I also must recognize how far I have come in my life. I have survived many forms of hardships including abuse. Surviving everything has taught me to keep going even if I might hate myself. We are all worthy of love. I am not being fair to me right now because I can not seem to figure my thoughts out. I feel I am a failure because of having to adjust to studying in a different educational setting. I have to make changes to get away from this place I am in mentally. I am attempting to do that slowly but I am not sure if it will be fast enough.
I want to break free from this. I do not want to live my life within a series of unquestioned routines. I want to question habits, thoughts, behaviors, etc. to become my complete self. I know this will never be stagnant, at least I hope. I will strive to always question myself and what is around me. At the same time, I want to live in the moment by appreciating the beauty which exists in our world.
I also must recognize how far I have come in my life. I have survived many forms of hardships including abuse. Surviving everything has taught me to keep going even if I might hate myself. We are all worthy of love. I am not being fair to me right now because I can not seem to figure my thoughts out. I feel I am a failure because of having to adjust to studying in a different educational setting. I have to make changes to get away from this place I am in mentally. I am attempting to do that slowly but I am not sure if it will be fast enough.