fuckin trippin on trying to say shit right, now!
i feel like luna must feel right now at this very moment.. she is pawing me and standing on my knees..and trying to get my attention and licking my face.. so on and so on..
i think i feel the same way lulu!! a bit anxious, antsy and probably a lil like licking someones face too.
i can always count on lulu::
yesterday i went to never never land
and flew around with peter pan
i forget how on the same page jenny (sis) and i usually are.
our potential is fucking threw this roof.
it was like jenny and i shared the same eyes yesterday
and the same mind, and the same everything else.
maybe in the end we all understand each other more then we are thinking all along.
and that scares us.
maybe in the end we all love each other more then we ever wanted to and that scares us too.
maybe in the end love was just some made up term for a chemical reaction taht happens when we feel happy with ourselves more then ever.
and that scares us most of all.
maybe love exists only for ourselves.
im not saying either way.
but its possible.
i personally might stoop to say that love is a mutual happiness.
and thats all i will say without sugar coating.
the key is in the word happiness.
some might define happiness as having someone by their side.
some might define happiness as being by someones side.
or the more lone people might define happiness as being just that, lone.
i define happiness as flying around in never never land.
taking the gift that it gives you.
and realizing that only a small percentage of people actually take gifts out of never never land and how lucky i am.
but that doesnt mean that all people cant take gifts from never never land.
there is a basket at the door, most people just dont look around enough to see it.
and one might think.
what is her gift?
the gift of understanding self.
i know exactly what i want.
happiness exactly.
memoirs of drug inducements:
"if you go with it, it wont break." ~me
"jenny is feng sui "ing" her budweiser table.. (hence the shoe, knife, harmonica, lighter, capri sun, tabacco, papers, cigar)
see alot is always going on" ~me
"its sad that the world doesnt make this much sense to everyone else RIGHT NOW!" ~jenny
"i agree" ~me
"what if what we unknowing call retarded is really the luckiest of them all who are always trippin?" ~me (justa thought. nothing personal)
"mindy has a light coming from her, even im not qualified to see it YET. maybe one day. right over her." ~jenny
"i agree". ~me
(except one thing jenny how do we know this?)
listen to the ice
the ice in my hand
theres a hawk flying over
"go with it" he whispers
jenny is taking magic carpet rides into the back yard
the hawk likes 'the be good tanyas'
i like 'the sun'
and i hate to be haten but i wish the trees that are blocking the sun would go away
and come back a hotter day
jenny and her harmonica is going somewhere even w/ just one note
my palms are sweaty
2 notes now
tea
im making sweet tea
hum the splinter in jennys hand ran from the ice
........................
let me just recap here
i define realization as 'an awakening'. yesterday i was more core then ever before and at the very core of existing alot goes on.
for me. alot went on. i felt like a painting quiet vulnerable and easy to watch and take all kinds of ways. i dont mind it being that way.
but my existing on the wall, made me very paranoid, or maybe it was my fear of rejection.
i realized that your light is what i have been trying to pinpoint all along. i have alot of faith in you. i guess you could kinda say i believe in you, although i dont like to throw that word around alot. its the way your light shines that i realized. fuck.. i have alot, alot of love for you and your light. thats what i realized.
i think i feel the same way lulu!! a bit anxious, antsy and probably a lil like licking someones face too.
i can always count on lulu::
yesterday i went to never never land
and flew around with peter pan
i forget how on the same page jenny (sis) and i usually are.
our potential is fucking threw this roof.
it was like jenny and i shared the same eyes yesterday
and the same mind, and the same everything else.
maybe in the end we all understand each other more then we are thinking all along.
and that scares us.
maybe in the end we all love each other more then we ever wanted to and that scares us too.
maybe in the end love was just some made up term for a chemical reaction taht happens when we feel happy with ourselves more then ever.
and that scares us most of all.
maybe love exists only for ourselves.
im not saying either way.
but its possible.
i personally might stoop to say that love is a mutual happiness.
and thats all i will say without sugar coating.
the key is in the word happiness.
some might define happiness as having someone by their side.
some might define happiness as being by someones side.
or the more lone people might define happiness as being just that, lone.
i define happiness as flying around in never never land.
taking the gift that it gives you.
and realizing that only a small percentage of people actually take gifts out of never never land and how lucky i am.
but that doesnt mean that all people cant take gifts from never never land.
there is a basket at the door, most people just dont look around enough to see it.
and one might think.
what is her gift?
the gift of understanding self.
i know exactly what i want.
happiness exactly.
memoirs of drug inducements:
"if you go with it, it wont break." ~me
"jenny is feng sui "ing" her budweiser table.. (hence the shoe, knife, harmonica, lighter, capri sun, tabacco, papers, cigar)
see alot is always going on" ~me
"its sad that the world doesnt make this much sense to everyone else RIGHT NOW!" ~jenny
"i agree" ~me
"what if what we unknowing call retarded is really the luckiest of them all who are always trippin?" ~me (justa thought. nothing personal)
"mindy has a light coming from her, even im not qualified to see it YET. maybe one day. right over her." ~jenny
"i agree". ~me
(except one thing jenny how do we know this?)
listen to the ice
the ice in my hand
theres a hawk flying over
"go with it" he whispers
jenny is taking magic carpet rides into the back yard
the hawk likes 'the be good tanyas'
i like 'the sun'
and i hate to be haten but i wish the trees that are blocking the sun would go away
and come back a hotter day
jenny and her harmonica is going somewhere even w/ just one note
my palms are sweaty
2 notes now
tea
im making sweet tea
hum the splinter in jennys hand ran from the ice
........................
let me just recap here
i define realization as 'an awakening'. yesterday i was more core then ever before and at the very core of existing alot goes on.
for me. alot went on. i felt like a painting quiet vulnerable and easy to watch and take all kinds of ways. i dont mind it being that way.
but my existing on the wall, made me very paranoid, or maybe it was my fear of rejection.
i realized that your light is what i have been trying to pinpoint all along. i have alot of faith in you. i guess you could kinda say i believe in you, although i dont like to throw that word around alot. its the way your light shines that i realized. fuck.. i have alot, alot of love for you and your light. thats what i realized.