Follow up
I wasn't going to do this, but since it got so much attention: a follow up to the last entry... Yes, all that happened, and he's goaded me like that before. I don't hold any sort of a grudge. I got mad for a few minutes and got over it. Posting that last message got it entirely out of my system. Forgiveness is the road to inner peace. :)
The subject of my disagreement with Blitzwing wasn't important. That's why I didn't elaborate on it. It was something really stupid. How he responded was important, but the real issue was that I lost my temper.
I almost never lose my temper. Last night I was in some pain from a pretty bad headache and in a bad mood. It's like I sometimes have dumbasses who yell, "Hey, hippie! Got any pot?" while they drive past me. I can normally just roll my eyes and ignore it. My bad mood made me respond negatively to a negative stimulus. He was trying to provoke me and I let myself be provoked. Ultimately it was my own fault.
I did some thinking on what made me upset by this. I was reminded of an incident in fifth grade. I was on very good terms with the teacher. I was pretty popular, as I was a cute and harmless-seeming little fellow. For some reason a few girls decided they didn't like me and teased me relentlessly. We had our desks in groups of four, and two of the girls were in my group. They started picking at imaginary things and went up to the teacher. The teacher asked me to move my desk out of the group. I felt betrayed and became very upset. (The teacher quickly pointed out that she did this to get me away from them, not as punishment.) Later, when hanging out with my friends on Fridays as we did for so long, the one guy was a real ass. It didn't bother me when he was being an ass, but rather when others agreed with him. (I've said later that he was like Cartman and I was like Kyle: the others would ignore his crap, but I always had to call him on it.) I think two days ago it was a simliar phenomenon. He was being ridiculous and that didn't bother me: it was that others seemed to be siding with him. I wonder what that says about me that such a thing consistantly bothers me...
Anyways, I sort of thought on it, realized that he was coming from somewhere and it wasn't just random, and next time I'll respond differently. Perhaps I'll try to represent his side as valid, so he doesn't perceive what I say as an attack. It may be that he feels I don't respect him or his perspective, and it makes him feel vulnerable, and in turn his antogonistic responses make me feel vulnerable. As said before, there are no hard feelings or bitterness over this. It's happened before and it may happen again, but I'll deal with it better next time.
The subject of my disagreement with Blitzwing wasn't important. That's why I didn't elaborate on it. It was something really stupid. How he responded was important, but the real issue was that I lost my temper.
I almost never lose my temper. Last night I was in some pain from a pretty bad headache and in a bad mood. It's like I sometimes have dumbasses who yell, "Hey, hippie! Got any pot?" while they drive past me. I can normally just roll my eyes and ignore it. My bad mood made me respond negatively to a negative stimulus. He was trying to provoke me and I let myself be provoked. Ultimately it was my own fault.
I did some thinking on what made me upset by this. I was reminded of an incident in fifth grade. I was on very good terms with the teacher. I was pretty popular, as I was a cute and harmless-seeming little fellow. For some reason a few girls decided they didn't like me and teased me relentlessly. We had our desks in groups of four, and two of the girls were in my group. They started picking at imaginary things and went up to the teacher. The teacher asked me to move my desk out of the group. I felt betrayed and became very upset. (The teacher quickly pointed out that she did this to get me away from them, not as punishment.) Later, when hanging out with my friends on Fridays as we did for so long, the one guy was a real ass. It didn't bother me when he was being an ass, but rather when others agreed with him. (I've said later that he was like Cartman and I was like Kyle: the others would ignore his crap, but I always had to call him on it.) I think two days ago it was a simliar phenomenon. He was being ridiculous and that didn't bother me: it was that others seemed to be siding with him. I wonder what that says about me that such a thing consistantly bothers me...
Anyways, I sort of thought on it, realized that he was coming from somewhere and it wasn't just random, and next time I'll respond differently. Perhaps I'll try to represent his side as valid, so he doesn't perceive what I say as an attack. It may be that he feels I don't respect him or his perspective, and it makes him feel vulnerable, and in turn his antogonistic responses make me feel vulnerable. As said before, there are no hard feelings or bitterness over this. It's happened before and it may happen again, but I'll deal with it better next time.