drunk and confuzed but happy
so my request for membership in the Yahoo Group "ftmsurgeryinfo" has been denied, which confuses me greatly. I mean, if any one needs ftm surgery info, it's someone who's all but decided to do it... guess they have their reasons...
i need to find a doctor whose appointments, at least, will be covered by blue cross blue shield. figure out the best course of action for myself. ked and i have reached more of an understanding than we had at last update. she's keeping an open mind and seems to get that this isnt me selling out, it's me making a comfortable place for myself in our heavily gendered world. i am all for gender revolution. but i believe in baby steps to progress, and i vowed long ago i would not be poor forever. living in a perpetual state of ambiguous gender presentation will not allow me to live up to that promise, nor will it make me happy in general. she gets it. she's trying. and i feel she understands, or will soon, that my transition will not change who i am as a person.
the family issues will be interesting. i can't decide when to tell them. i'm afraid to wait til after i start hormones cuz i don't want to scare them by calling with a male voice... but i feel they'd take it more seriously if i've already taken the first steps. i dunno. advice, my tranny/sympathetic friends?
i had a good thanksgiving, despite my initial depression about not gettin to go home. party at work, party at maren's with ariana and jason and maren's friends. much fun. i feel all warm and cozy and fuzzy now that i'm home. and i will go to bed on this happy note.
happy turkey or tofurkey day, all!
~S.
i need to find a doctor whose appointments, at least, will be covered by blue cross blue shield. figure out the best course of action for myself. ked and i have reached more of an understanding than we had at last update. she's keeping an open mind and seems to get that this isnt me selling out, it's me making a comfortable place for myself in our heavily gendered world. i am all for gender revolution. but i believe in baby steps to progress, and i vowed long ago i would not be poor forever. living in a perpetual state of ambiguous gender presentation will not allow me to live up to that promise, nor will it make me happy in general. she gets it. she's trying. and i feel she understands, or will soon, that my transition will not change who i am as a person.
the family issues will be interesting. i can't decide when to tell them. i'm afraid to wait til after i start hormones cuz i don't want to scare them by calling with a male voice... but i feel they'd take it more seriously if i've already taken the first steps. i dunno. advice, my tranny/sympathetic friends?
i had a good thanksgiving, despite my initial depression about not gettin to go home. party at work, party at maren's with ariana and jason and maren's friends. much fun. i feel all warm and cozy and fuzzy now that i'm home. and i will go to bed on this happy note.
happy turkey or tofurkey day, all!
~S.