my mom . . .
(I've wanted to write, but I have been at a loss for words . . .)
I awoke last Saturday morning with such a strong feeling that I needed to talk to my mother. I wanted to tell her it was okay for her to let go and leave us now. That it was time for her to go be with Dad and John, her mother and father, her sister and brothers - that they were waiting for her. And I wanted to tell her goodbye and other things I hadn’t said to her, only in my thoughts.
My sister put the phone to her ear and I said to my mother what was in my heart. She lay there very still, but ML said she raised her eyebrows a bit when I started talking, and then tried to move her lips a little, too.
It’s strange to say, but I felt good afterwards. I was so sad, but I felt a relief like something dark breaking loose from me and floating away.
On Sunday, I believe, at last she began her journey.
She passed away so very peacefully on Monday morning about 8:30.
It’s been hectic here with people calling, stopping by, things to think of and take care of in preparation for our trip north. My planning mind is way into overload. I really don't think it has all sunk in yet, but I know it will when I get home . . .
It had rained during the night and I went down to the park early this morning. No one was there. I began walking towards the pond, past the bed of roses and something happened. It was like everything around me became faded like a fog and all I could see was this one rose in front of me. I took the picture, then bent down to smell it.
Many roses don’t have a fragrance - they are beautiful, but it is always kind of disappointing when you find out there is no smell. My mother loved roses so much and grew many in her life. One thing she tried to make sure of when she bought her rose bushes was that they had a fragrance.
This one had a sweet, light smell.
I have been looking since Monday for my “penny from heaven” and I think this is it.
Pete and I will be leaving soon for the old homestead in PA. Our daughters, Laurie and Tracy will be flying up to join us. They spent so much time with their grandparents while growing up and loved them dearly. Pete and the girls will fly back home together and I will stay there for awhile and help my sister go through our parent’s things. Then the two of us will drive back to Florida and she will be here with us for awhile then she will fly home.
It will be good, and we will take care of each other, I know.
I awoke last Saturday morning with such a strong feeling that I needed to talk to my mother. I wanted to tell her it was okay for her to let go and leave us now. That it was time for her to go be with Dad and John, her mother and father, her sister and brothers - that they were waiting for her. And I wanted to tell her goodbye and other things I hadn’t said to her, only in my thoughts.
My sister put the phone to her ear and I said to my mother what was in my heart. She lay there very still, but ML said she raised her eyebrows a bit when I started talking, and then tried to move her lips a little, too.
It’s strange to say, but I felt good afterwards. I was so sad, but I felt a relief like something dark breaking loose from me and floating away.
On Sunday, I believe, at last she began her journey.
She passed away so very peacefully on Monday morning about 8:30.
It’s been hectic here with people calling, stopping by, things to think of and take care of in preparation for our trip north. My planning mind is way into overload. I really don't think it has all sunk in yet, but I know it will when I get home . . .
It had rained during the night and I went down to the park early this morning. No one was there. I began walking towards the pond, past the bed of roses and something happened. It was like everything around me became faded like a fog and all I could see was this one rose in front of me. I took the picture, then bent down to smell it.
Many roses don’t have a fragrance - they are beautiful, but it is always kind of disappointing when you find out there is no smell. My mother loved roses so much and grew many in her life. One thing she tried to make sure of when she bought her rose bushes was that they had a fragrance.
This one had a sweet, light smell.
I have been looking since Monday for my “penny from heaven” and I think this is it.
Pete and I will be leaving soon for the old homestead in PA. Our daughters, Laurie and Tracy will be flying up to join us. They spent so much time with their grandparents while growing up and loved them dearly. Pete and the girls will fly back home together and I will stay there for awhile and help my sister go through our parent’s things. Then the two of us will drive back to Florida and she will be here with us for awhile then she will fly home.
It will be good, and we will take care of each other, I know.