i lost my rose tinted glasses
it is wierd how you can go a while and just feel positive and hopeful and just be oblivious, then wam you get knocked on your ass and set back in reality. i hate this fucking city. to many people crammed in and trying to make space for themselves. there isn't enough for what they want so they push otheres around disrespect. people seem so angry andy more. they cut you off to just simply be in front of you when you are going the same speed as the other person, like it is a status quo or something. if you take the time to actually look at other drivers or just the people around us it is unsetteling at how many people are scowling or depressed. it hurts me so much. i just don't know how to process these thing in my brain and then the physicle takes over and i just want to take a rusty spoon and rip my heart out just to dull the pain. i find myself wanting to just curl up and go back to sleep. then you turn on the radio to blur out the sights around you and they are talking about a girl that killed her friend. they say mabe it was her parents fault they are abusing her or there is not enough love. anything to scapegoat the problem and deny that it is our problem. our societies problem as a whole there is to much abuse and not enough love. how often do we chat at people not looking to see if they are even looking or listening just because we need to talk. we know they are rarley listening just nodding their head and faining concern. we feel relived and walk away forgetting to even take into account that they may need to be heard. this is normal behavior, i expierience it and see it and regretfully am guilty of it to. i apologise to everyone who needed a friend and i was not mentaly there. i don't have the answers for what this tangent is about. i just needed to ease the hurt a little. i wish i could fix it, but i can't. i have hope in my child and the children to come. i have hope that if i start to show a little kindness others will take note and try to change our sense of normality. things need to change our children even we as children were making this known for age now. but it seems that with adulthood we are numbed or just so self absorbed to see what is happening. my chalange for anyone who actually got this far and endured my ranting is to get your head out of your little world and take not of those around you. look at your neighbor and see what is really going on. look between the lines, try to care. work not to judge and ridicule and just celebrate the fact that they are alive. respect them as a feeling and thinking human being with their own history and reality. we are different and that is ok. well i will shut up.