Hooked on a feeling.
I just now identified this mood that I am in. It is a mood that I have experienced throughout my life in various contexts but have never had an adequate name for. The current context is having all the roommates in the kitchen at once, chattering and talking to me while I'm clearly trying to read and singing along to my music, and I really just want to be quiet and calm but they are not down with that. It's the mood that has had people throughout my life constantly, naggingly asking me "Are you all right?" or "What's the matter?" The mood is autistic. It came to me as I was trying to clean up my dishes and get the hell out of there. There is no better word for it. It is a mood where I feel overburdened by sensory and social input and my fondest desire is to be quiet and rock, or to act out and holler at them to shut up, shut up, you're making me hurt, please shut up!
So now I'm sitting in my room, as I do, listening to the Who, as I do. Because my brain is currently only set to a certain kind of filter. Even the music's getting to be a bit much. I think I'm going to go stand in the shower and let the running water be my filter for a while. And then I will either feel normal again, or I will go to sleep.
So now I'm sitting in my room, as I do, listening to the Who, as I do. Because my brain is currently only set to a certain kind of filter. Even the music's getting to be a bit much. I think I'm going to go stand in the shower and let the running water be my filter for a while. And then I will either feel normal again, or I will go to sleep.