The Sweetest Relief - Part 1
Just taking a short break from Power of Love - I started writing this around the same time as it so...Doing both at the same time now. Though I can't help doing that a lot of the time! ^^ Hope you like this anyway. It mainly revolves around Ennis and another character which I haven't really written before but I hope it's okay.
Title: The Sweetest Relief
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Admission
Genre: Kind of AU I guess/angsty/sad/fluffy...
Pairing: Ennis/OC, Ennis/Jack
Rating: PG for this part
Warnings: M/m sexual situations (though not much at the moment), Ennis with someone who's not Jack *sorry, wanted to try! ^^
Summary: Ennis is missing Jack after the last argument he had with him and winds up at a bar on his own, meeting up with a stranger who he has more in common with than he first thinks
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, apart from Frankie. Anyone who's not Frankie belongs to Annie Proulx. I'm not earning any profit from doing this - it's just for fun!
Feedback: That'd be great. I'm a little nervous about the whole Ennis/another character thing.
Ennis sat at the bar, looking out at the crowds of people as he nervously cradled his glass. It had been three months or more since he had since Jack Twist and as much as he tried to deny it, he missed him tremendously. They weren’t getting along all that well the last time they were together , due to (mainly Ennis’s concerns) about his wife and kids and virtually anyone else who may have had a chance of finding out about them but Ennis knew the cycle all too well. He’d meet up with Jack on a ‘fishing trip’, stay with him in a remote location where there was no one about for miles to catch them with one another, then end up arguing with him, resulting in going home to what he thought was a suspicious Alma with his heart as heavy as stone.
Yet what would be worse would be the months that followed, even when Ennis knew the date him and Jack would be meeting up on next. He’d start missing him terribly and wondering why they kept going round in a never ending circle like this. Reunion, short time together, argument, long time away and so on. That’s all that ever happened between them now.
However, a couple of ‘fishing trips’ back, Jack had suggested something that immediately and completely stopped Ennis in his tracks. He’d asked if he wanted to come and live with him down in Texas, where they could lick his Daddy’s ranch into shape and allow themselves to have a life together beyond the boundaries of one-off, secret unity in the distant mountains. Ennis hadn’t known what to say to this proposition at first. Jack had never hinted at anything like it before but he had obviously been doing a lot of thinking over their time apart. He seemed quite optimistic about it too yet pretty soon, Ennis reached the sad conclusion that it could never happen. The two guys he had seen living together when he was younger hadn’t come to a nice situation with society and he had been permanently scarred inside by the vision and memory of one lying beaten and dead in the irrigation ditch. There was no way he wanted to end up like that, or for Jack to end up like that. He’d had to say no, no matter how hard that was.
Yet Jack didn’t let go that easily. The last time he had seen him it was obviously still in his mind as he brought it up again, a glimmer of hope still existing in his voice and eyes. About a year apart to think hadn’t changed Ennis’s thoughts though. He couldn’t say yes and that’s what had driven his and Jack’s latest argument.
Yet, although he knew they’d be meeting up again in a few months or so (the wait seemed to be getting longer and longer each time), it felt worse than usual. He was confused over a lot of things, not least Jack’s life changing offer, and for the past couple of weeks, a horrible sense of loneliness had hung over him. Even though Alma was with him day and night, she wasn’t Jack and didn’t evoke the same emotions or sensations in him as Jack did. In the end, they had turned out arguing, yet Ennis would never tell her the real cause, and that was another reason he was sitting in the bar that evening. He couldn’t drink at home. Not with Alma lurking over him.
He couldn’t deny how much he missed Jack anymore. He stirred such feelings in him and he knew that no female could ever compete with him. They certainly couldn’t stimulate the emotions in the way he did.
Because it wasn’t the same with women. That was another thing Ennis tried to deny but in the end, he always realised it was true. He thought of his times with Jack and then his times with Alma and he couldn’t hide what a big difference it was between them. He guessed that all women would be like his occasions with Alma, certainly from what he had heard, and that notion brought up too many questions about too many things. The term he had heard time and time again kept creeping into his mind - queer - but confusion was already gnawing away at him and he knew he couldn’t think clear about anything more at that moment.
Instead, he let out a long sigh and glanced back up at the room in front, seeing people laughing and talking about their own little subjects. He seemed to be the only person in the building sitting alone but then, just as his heart sank even more at the thought, he noticed a dark haired, green eyed man crossing through the crowds towards him. Immediately, he looked down, feeling his painful shyness grip him, yet the other guy didn’t stop, instead choosing to perch on a nearby seat.
Ennis nervously pawed at his glass when he sensed his gaze on him, silently asking for introduction. Yet as he got none from his companion, he kindly stuck his hand out and offered his name. ‘’ Frankie Austin,’’ he said in a Western accent and Ennis slowly looked up, taking his hand and shaking it.
‘’ Ennis,’’ he murmured. ‘’ Del Mar.’’
Frankie smiled a little and nodded, bringing back his arm. ‘’ You from around here, Ennis Del Mar?’’ he continued. ‘’ ‘Cos ah ain’t seen ya in this bar before.’’
Ennis averted his eyes again, staring into his glass. ‘’ Yeah, ah’m from ‘round here,’’ he answered. ‘’ But ah jus’ never been in here before now.’’
‘’ Well, what brings ya here tonight then?’’ Frankie was on the borderline between kind and annoying for Ennis.
‘’ It’s a long story...’’ he replied, not really wanting to divulge any more to this stranger. But Frankie didn’t seem to be budging.
‘’ Ah’m not in a rush...’’ he said. Ennis sighed and glanced up at him, expecting to see mischief in his eyes or at least something to prove he was taking advantage and picking on the newcomer. Yet he was surprised to see there was nothing of the sort. Frankie looked genuinely curious but still gentle, obviously wondering how much he should ask. Ennis shook his head.
‘’ Ah cain’t say,’’ he finally replied. ‘’ Ah jus’ cain’t.’’
‘’ Is it a woman?’’ Frankie pressed on. Ennis’s stomach twisted.
‘’ Kinda...’’ he muttered. ‘’ It involves a woman...’’
‘’ Well, ah tell ya, ah’ve had mah fair share of woman trouble. An’ other types of trouble too...’’
Ennis looked back at up his sudden change in tone. He abruptly sounded quite serious. ‘’ What d’ya mean?’’ he asked, wondering why he felt interested in Frankie. Frankie just shrugged.
‘’ Ah don’t really wanna talk about it in here, Ennis. Some people might not understand, even though we’re all friends. D’ya wanna come outside?’’
‘’ ...okay then...’’ Ennis nodded and then stood up from the bar, following Frankie to the door. He’d known he’d felt lonely but he didn’t quite realise he’d felt this lonely. Suddenly, all he wanted was some company, if only for a few hours, and maybe even someone to talk to. He couldn’t believe he was thinking that. Jack must have really hurt him this time.
Frankie led him to his pick up truck where he unlocked the front doors and allowed him to get in, safe against the cold. They sat together in there for a while and talked but the Frankie brought up the subject they had been on in the bar and the atmosphere turned a little more serious again.
‘’ Well, Ennis, ah don’t know why ah’m tellin’ ya this but ah guess ya looked a lil’ lonely up there at the bar an’ ah been on the road nearly mah whole life - ah know a trustworthy face when ah see one - it’s one of th’ first things mah Daddy taught me...’’ Frankie continued, fiddling with his hands. He’d been doing most of the talking over the last ten minutes or so but now, he suddenly seemed a bit nervous. Ennis watched him. ‘’...but, Ennis, ah wanna tell ya now...If what ah say upsets ya or ya jus’ don’t like it, ya can get out an’ forget this ever happened. ‘Cos that’s how ah felt the first time ah found out. But, still, can ah trust ya won’t tell nobody?’’
Ennis glanced into his eyes, wondering what on earth he was going to tell him. No one had ever told him anything that had had a build up like this but suddenly, some guy he had only just met in a bar was about to. He tried to think if he had done anything to bring it on.
‘’ It depends, Frankie...’’ he finally muttered in response to his question. ‘’ Though ah don’t talk much anyhow...’’
Frankie smiled a little and nodded, again starting to fumble with his hands. ‘’ Well, ah’ll tell ya then... Jus’ don’t - never mind... Anyway, like ah said, ah been on the road fer as long as ah can remember, all through the States an’ the mountains an’ the prairies an’ so on, an’ ah met a lot a’ people. Some young, some old, some nice, some jus’ plain horrible but...quite early on, ah began to realise somethin’.... Ah was meetin’ all these gals and guys an’ ah discovered that - that ah had feelin’s fer both. Ah never told anyone, apart from the guys ah was with, but ah knew it was true an’ it was jus’ somethin’ ah couldn’t deny. It was never mah choice, Ennis, yet ah was fallin’ in love with gals and boys...’’
Ennis could feel his heart thudding as he spoke to him. He was speaking almost exactly what he was, and had been, experiencing and he couldn’t believe it. He had thought it was just him and Jack, alone in the world now, but he finally realised that that wasn’t the case. There were people just like them, who had maybe been brought up being told emotions like these were wrong and who had also possibly been traumatised by visions or stories, yet who, in the end, couldn’t deny their feelings. Ennis didn’t know what to say. He wanted to feel relieved but strangely, he somehow couldn’t. Jack was still on his mind. And his offer too. Did guys actually live together like he had suggested?
‘’ ...why - why are you tellin’ me this?’’ he asked after what seemed like ages, his hands shaking. Frankie smiled.
‘’ Because, Ennis, sometimes ah can see things in other people’s faces. An’ somethin’ tells me ya feel the same way.’’
Ennis froze. His heart skipped and he looked away, shyly picking at the material of the truck seat. He’d had an idea that the conversation might go like this but he’d had no clue that Frankie would actually pursue it. He hadn’t talked to anyone about this before, not even Jack, and he suddenly felt scared, not sure how to answer. He could just run out but Frankie had just revealed a secret to him hardly anyone else knew - he realised he couldn’t turn away from him. Yet what on earth should he say? After all, he wasn’t much of a talker and he certainly didn’t converse about things like this to anyone.
‘’ Frankie, I....I...Ah don’t know - ah don’t know what....’’
‘’ Don’t be frightened,’’ Frankie soothed. ‘’ Ah won’t hurt you, Ennis.’’
Ennis nodded and drew a hand across his forehead. ‘’ Ah know...’’ he muttered. ‘’ But ah jus’... Ah haven’t ever.... Ah haven’t told anyone about this... Apart from - from....’’
‘’ From who?’’
Ennis sighed and shook his head. ‘’ Okay, Frankie...’’ he said after a while, his voice trembling a little. ‘’ Ah’ll tell ya why ah’m here tonight...’’ He paused and then took another breath, wondering where to start. ‘’ When ah was younger, mah brother an’ sister raised me mainly after mah parents died in a car accident. Ah got me a year a’ High School an’ then after workin’ on a ranch near Worland with mah brother for a bit ah met a pretty lil’ gal called Alma who ah got engaged to. Ta get more money fer me an’ her, ah went up to get work on.... a mountain -‘’ Ennis couldn’t bare to say the name - ‘’...an’ met Jack Twist. We - well, we got t’gether on that mountain when we was herdin’ sheep but at the end a’ summer, we went back home an’ ah married Alma an’ had kids, he married Lureen an’ had a kid... We met up again four years after the mountain bah chance an’ ever since then, we been havin’ fishin’ trips - except they’re not really fishin’ trips, our wives jus’ think they are - an’ that’s the only chance we get to see each other. But...it’s damn hard, Frankie. A lot a’ the times we don’t get on ‘cos of...well, wives, kids an’ other stuff, but in the end ah always end up missin’ him so bad. Ah don’t know about him, though ah sometimes cain’t stand it. An’ there’s less an’ less time fer us now... Ah worry about mahself when he’s gone though as ah...well...’’ Ennis trailed off.
‘’ As what?’’ Frankie pressed.
‘’ As it...it don’t feel the same with gals anymore. Ya ever git that, Frankie? Alma jus’...well,
it’s jus’ not the same...’’
‘’ Mmmm...Yeah, ah know what ya mean...’’ Slowly, Frankie nodded and then looked up at Ennis, their eyes meeting. Ennis felt his heart skip and he glanced at Frankie’s soft, parted lips when he tenderly leant forward, bringing a hand up to stroke his cheek.
‘’ Ennis Del Mar...’’ he muttered quietly and Ennis let out a small, excited moan in response. Frankie’s outdoorsy scent, not that different to Jack’s, washed over him. ‘’...may ah kiss you?’’
‘’ Uhhh....’’ Ennis murmured as a reply and half closed his eyes, allowing Frankie to draw him in. Their lips touched in seconds, starting a soft, slow kiss as both gradually discovered how their mouths fit together and what the other liked and wanted. Frankie held Ennis gently when they did this, sensing he was trembling beneath his hands. He could tell he was thinking of Jack but he wasn’t surprised as he began to tenderly touch him, slipping his fingers into his hair to deepen the kiss.
Frankie leant forward further at this point, rubbing his thumbs over Ennis’s thighs a little and getting a soft groan in response. He felt him shiver and then pull him closer so they were now kissing very passionately (but still gently), embracing and fondling.
It lasted for a few more moments before Frankie finally stopped and parted their lips, brushing his forehead against Ennis’s. ‘’ Oh Ennis...’’ he whispered quietly. ‘’ D’you wanna get to a Motel...?’’
Ennis nodded and then allowed Frankie to sit back in the driving seat, starting the truck’s engine. He put his head on his shoulder and as they pulled out of the car park, he felt his arm curve around him.
TBC