(no subject)

[earthboundhero]

everything I try, I am putting my all into.
I am trying so fucking hard to break this cycle.
I am trying so fucking hard to keep from failing. I am trying so god damn hard at this.
It seems everywhere I turn, I have to hide my face. I am embarassed of myself. I feel that I still don't belong in the situations I put myself into. Everywhere I look, there are these eyes glaring at me from everywhere.
every window
every door
every nook
every crany

grah.
I can't seem to keep my head down low enough.

I am constantly worried, constantly sick to my fucking stomach.
If I could only just hide away,
What do they care?
I am a failure in their eyes. Such a dramatic change I would have to make in order to turn that around.
I personally do not think I can be anything else, but there are few people who belive I can be. I will hate myself for good, more than I already do now, if I were to fail them too.
an embarassing life it is to me.
Nothing more.
i am feeling the pressures of the air all around me, caving in.
constantly. my head can not be pushed lower, I am sure.
if I was to be caught off guard again, this time I swear my jaw would be smashed into the pavement.
i have always walked with my eyes on the ground