languishing...

[earthborn]

rub my eyes
and
your there behind my lids
curve of your back
your breathing
your hands on my hips as we
fuck
i'm late again
throw myself out of bed
mirror's spiteful look
dark circles, dried tears
throw myself out the door
s.u.v. halitosis
talk radio
traffic light changes
close my eyes
and
your there behind my lids
the way you stand
how you take your coffee
your whispering in my ear like an obscence
phone call
inbox
water cooler jive
trading my hours for a handful
of blissfully empty thoughts
blink
and
your there behind my lids
your fingernails scraping my back
your pretty words rasping my thoughts
your slow heart
beat
lassitude greets me at my door
law and order
chicken and brocoli -
couch for one
i call him over at
10:06
he wants to fix me
he is standing in your shadow
i get on top of him
avoid his eyes
and
your not there