17
Over at Kyle's. Not in a great mood, but then again.. When am I? Yea, you all probably think I am just this fucken fucked up person who gets mad all the time and way to easily. And to tell you the truth, you are all probably right. What makes me happy, besides when I get my way? Because, I can't live my life being happy only when I get what I want. Sure, I love to give people things just as much, because I like to see that I can make others happy. But, how long has it been since I have given to someone else? And, I mean really given to someone else? I wish I wasn't so damn selfish, it just makes me mad at myself. Aloha dance was last night. I was pretty mad at Kyle because we had been planning last night ever since before school even started and he just forgot about it in 1 hour, and said he would work. Kind of makes me mad that he can just forget about things I say. It kind of makes me feel like, well then why do I even say them if all you are going to do is forget? I know Jasmine or someone I know is sitting here reading this thinking I need to stop getting mad about everything. Well, I can't help it ok? It is just the way I am. And, to tell you the truth, I don't want to change. I want to be the way I am to anyone and everyone. But, in the end me and Kyle got to end up going last night. It was a lot of fun! The fucken freshmen were annoying as hell, but other than that, it was great. All the girls that like Kyle seemed to keep following us around. Like Jessa and Caitlyn. Everytime I would turn around, there they were... Looking at me and him. And, a bunch of girls walked by saying hi to him which kind of bothered me. Why am I such a jelous person? Why can't I just not care about what he thinks of other girls and just keep in mind, that he is mine, not theirs? Well, he dropped me off around 10:50 last night, then I went inside and called him on his cell phone. I didn't want to talk to my parents because my mom was being a total bitch, so I just snuck in through my back door to my room. Then, I had a dream about him and one of his ex's. I always seem to have those after nights when me and him go out and have fun. Why is that? And, now we are at his house, which is getting to me. I didn't feel good on the car ride here, and when I opened his door to his truck, I just let it go, and it accidently hit this thing in his garage and he started being a total jerk about it. He is all, "Auuugh." Like I totally did it on purpose. And, then we walk in and his sis and her friend were sitting there in their bathing suits and all of a sudden, he wants to go swimming. Whenever he usually wants to go, he tells me so I can bring a bathing suit. He didn't say one word to me about it, until he told Kim he wanted to go. And, I also don't want to be here because now that I am feeling like I am fitting in with his mom I feel like I am fitting in less and less with his dad. What is it with me and his damn family? Am I ever going to fully fit in or what? I just don't want to deal with my parents or his. How am I ever going to win? Well, I guess I will get going now... Not much more to write. See ya!