(no subject)
So this entry will serve mainly as catharsis.
I've got a crazy life going on right now.
First topic---- guys.
I've got Homie #1 (we'll call him H1) which I kind of dated/saw last year. He broke my heart so badly I never thought I'd bring myself out of that nasty daze I was in. Now I miss him so much. He used to make me laugh so much, I had never been happier. He would call me in the morning just to say 'good morning' though I'd see him within the next hour at school. Those mornings we were inseparable. He'd call me at night to say 'goodnight and sweet dreams'. He seemed so perfect. So loving&caring.
Homie #2 (H2) is the guy I'm involved with now. We're not dating, & nowhere near it. He's pretty much just a hook up buddy. There is wayy too much drama surrounding H2 to even consider that. He's perfect boyfriend material though, I swear. Like H1, he seems really perfect. But he's not. Not at all.
Homie #3 (you guessed it, H3) is Russell. I miss him only because he's one of the easiest people to talk to and I know that he cares for me so deeply. He truely loves me and that's something that I admire him for. I can't love anyone. It's impossible. I believe that you have to truely accept yourself first before you can start to worry about someone else.
Homie #4 is another ex that I dated in 10th grade. I just reconnected with him this week and I forgot how funny he is! Our relationship was very brief and awkward, but he makes me feel like the sexiest white girl ever and I always speak perfect spanish when talking to him.
Second topic----friends.
I've become really close friends with a select few girls very recently.
First there's Melinda. I love her to death. She is such a neat freak and has terrible OCD. She's so cute and petite and gorgey to the max. I love her so much! Her family is so welcoming and they care about me. Sometimes I wish she went to Westchester, but I'm kind of glad she doesn't, only because she'd hate it there.
Secondly, Kendra. She is like my little fashionista girl that I can share gossip with about bags&shoes & such. She just listens and is always there for me. She's the one that calls when I'm sick to give me the homework and make sure I'm not dead.
Then we've got Dimple. I love her to death, don't get me wrong. But she is crazy party college girl and I just can't handle that yet. Sometimes our conversations have awkward pauses in them, and it's weird. I feel like we don't have much to talk about these days.
I guess I felt like I would leave high school with no close friends and not have dated any worthy guys. I mean, there were some at least. I hope that I will keep these friends for life because they're the good ones that you can't find really anywhere else. They accept me for who I am and don't judge (especially when told about recent 'accusations'). So look, I don't care who thinks I have a bad reputation. If I do, then it just builds my character. Sorry I'm not so eloquent tonight. I have work in approx. 10 hours and I'm dreadful tired. I got lost coming home from San Juan Capistrano today.
So goodnight, and if you do read this, I'm sure you're already out of highschool so I wouldn't mind some feedback.
Thanks.
:]
I've got a crazy life going on right now.
First topic---- guys.
I've got Homie #1 (we'll call him H1) which I kind of dated/saw last year. He broke my heart so badly I never thought I'd bring myself out of that nasty daze I was in. Now I miss him so much. He used to make me laugh so much, I had never been happier. He would call me in the morning just to say 'good morning' though I'd see him within the next hour at school. Those mornings we were inseparable. He'd call me at night to say 'goodnight and sweet dreams'. He seemed so perfect. So loving&caring.
Homie #2 (H2) is the guy I'm involved with now. We're not dating, & nowhere near it. He's pretty much just a hook up buddy. There is wayy too much drama surrounding H2 to even consider that. He's perfect boyfriend material though, I swear. Like H1, he seems really perfect. But he's not. Not at all.
Homie #3 (you guessed it, H3) is Russell. I miss him only because he's one of the easiest people to talk to and I know that he cares for me so deeply. He truely loves me and that's something that I admire him for. I can't love anyone. It's impossible. I believe that you have to truely accept yourself first before you can start to worry about someone else.
Homie #4 is another ex that I dated in 10th grade. I just reconnected with him this week and I forgot how funny he is! Our relationship was very brief and awkward, but he makes me feel like the sexiest white girl ever and I always speak perfect spanish when talking to him.
Second topic----friends.
I've become really close friends with a select few girls very recently.
First there's Melinda. I love her to death. She is such a neat freak and has terrible OCD. She's so cute and petite and gorgey to the max. I love her so much! Her family is so welcoming and they care about me. Sometimes I wish she went to Westchester, but I'm kind of glad she doesn't, only because she'd hate it there.
Secondly, Kendra. She is like my little fashionista girl that I can share gossip with about bags&shoes & such. She just listens and is always there for me. She's the one that calls when I'm sick to give me the homework and make sure I'm not dead.
Then we've got Dimple. I love her to death, don't get me wrong. But she is crazy party college girl and I just can't handle that yet. Sometimes our conversations have awkward pauses in them, and it's weird. I feel like we don't have much to talk about these days.
I guess I felt like I would leave high school with no close friends and not have dated any worthy guys. I mean, there were some at least. I hope that I will keep these friends for life because they're the good ones that you can't find really anywhere else. They accept me for who I am and don't judge (especially when told about recent 'accusations'). So look, I don't care who thinks I have a bad reputation. If I do, then it just builds my character. Sorry I'm not so eloquent tonight. I have work in approx. 10 hours and I'm dreadful tired. I got lost coming home from San Juan Capistrano today.
So goodnight, and if you do read this, I'm sure you're already out of highschool so I wouldn't mind some feedback.
Thanks.
:]