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[earth_to_amy]

so the only person who knew this before last night was andrew's girlfriend kelly. i don't know why i told her and no one else, it just popped out in the first e-mail i sent to her when she tried to contact me that first time after andrew went to jail. however, last night mike dragged it out of me and now the reality is starting to sink in

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[earth_to_amy]

you guys brought tears to my eyes (good ones)
thank you for the support, it means alot to me. honestly, i dont know why i dont grab onto hands of people who are grounded better than those i've been associating with, i suppose its fear of actually changing and possibly being truly happy without all the crap i've learned to live with, and not wanting to drag anyone else down.
mike has good intentions. hes an addict. he doesnt understand that yelling at people and deciding that anything they have to say about themselves is meaningless because they're an addict and are trying to be manipulative are two very bad ideas. hes been getting better, but i've already told him i want nothing more than friendship.
i know i need to stop hanging out with all the people who have been bringing me down. i'm working on it. i dont talk to mark anymore, though hes been calling incessently, and ive yet to write to andrew, but it sounds like hes actually learning a lesson. his girlfriend is a wonderful woman, i'm sure youd all love her, shes very different from him, in all the good ways.
and you're right about my mom. she definitely has good intentions, and definitely apologizes alot, and part of me resents it. on the other hand, she was raised by a mother who was a closet alcoholic so i can understand her problems and dont hold them against her. so yes, she is a wonderful woman who just happens to always say and do the wrong things at the wrong time with her kids (both me and my sister)
i've been busy lately (i'm working 6 days straight) but i'm sure ill get over there soon lauren! i dont know whats holding me up as i said earlier.
i'm off to dress up as a giant bear, thank you everyone
i love you all much

[wunderkin72]

We're having a 4th of July party tomorrow, you should come! It's going to be pretty tame, but we'll have yummy food and it will be very chill and relaxing. Just a few friends having a good time. It would be really nice to see you.... and we'll be here all day.
Miss you.
<3
-Lauren