(no subject)
Hello Live-Journalers,
I really don't update this thing very often. I update the Xanga like its my job, but the LJ just doesn't have the same draw anymore.
What's happening in the life of Stu? Oh, just the usual tale of love and loss, of friendship and loneliness. Night and day pass with the usual things of humanity, and thats okay. If you're living in Columbia or are free on April 27, 28, or the 29th, come out to CIU and see "EVE REDEEMED". It's a play. I'm working as the Production Assistant/Promotional Manager for it. Alison will possibly see posters for it popping up downtown wherever we can soon. It's a play with Theological overtones, but not a lame *christian* play. Hopefully we'll have escaped without any real cheese. It's not broadway, but its looking really good. I'll post showtimes here in a couple of days.
I'm trying to figure out where my life is going. There has been alot of healing this school year. Alot of pain precedes that, and I'm not sure healing happens without big doses of introspection for me. I have to understand myself before I can go forward. Things have to be sorted and neatly placed in my mind and heart. One thing I've realized is that I've felt the burden of responsibility to hold everything together for everyone around me since I was five. Since my dad died. While I didn't understand the ins and outs of adulthood that young, I did feel its emotional burdens. The trouble is, you isolate yourself as the emotional caretaker. And I've been isolated and alone since I was 5, I think. Knowing that only makes the present loneliness worse, but it also seems to make it a little more managable. We'll see.
I'll be 23 in a few months. Still a year and a half or more of school left. Maybe. Or maybe I'm just trying to stall because I don't see anything after it and I don't know where I'm going. As long as I have classes as a safety net and I have people here, there's a purpose to things. But an empty apartment and a job I hate are two of the scariest prospects in the world to me.
But thats ok. We survive or we die. And I'm not dead yet, so I must be pretty okay at the surviving thing. God will pull me through.
I really don't update this thing very often. I update the Xanga like its my job, but the LJ just doesn't have the same draw anymore.
What's happening in the life of Stu? Oh, just the usual tale of love and loss, of friendship and loneliness. Night and day pass with the usual things of humanity, and thats okay. If you're living in Columbia or are free on April 27, 28, or the 29th, come out to CIU and see "EVE REDEEMED". It's a play. I'm working as the Production Assistant/Promotional Manager for it. Alison will possibly see posters for it popping up downtown wherever we can soon. It's a play with Theological overtones, but not a lame *christian* play. Hopefully we'll have escaped without any real cheese. It's not broadway, but its looking really good. I'll post showtimes here in a couple of days.
I'm trying to figure out where my life is going. There has been alot of healing this school year. Alot of pain precedes that, and I'm not sure healing happens without big doses of introspection for me. I have to understand myself before I can go forward. Things have to be sorted and neatly placed in my mind and heart. One thing I've realized is that I've felt the burden of responsibility to hold everything together for everyone around me since I was five. Since my dad died. While I didn't understand the ins and outs of adulthood that young, I did feel its emotional burdens. The trouble is, you isolate yourself as the emotional caretaker. And I've been isolated and alone since I was 5, I think. Knowing that only makes the present loneliness worse, but it also seems to make it a little more managable. We'll see.
I'll be 23 in a few months. Still a year and a half or more of school left. Maybe. Or maybe I'm just trying to stall because I don't see anything after it and I don't know where I'm going. As long as I have classes as a safety net and I have people here, there's a purpose to things. But an empty apartment and a job I hate are two of the scariest prospects in the world to me.
But thats ok. We survive or we die. And I'm not dead yet, so I must be pretty okay at the surviving thing. God will pull me through.