Fic: Raison d'être
*noms edamame* Um... yeah. I was really stuck on a name for this... so I came up with raison d'être , which means "reason for being". >> I'm not too good with story names... >+<
I am also just a little iffy about the ending. I may edit it eventually. But for now, for my peace of mind... I'm putting it up here...
Anyway. I will cross post this to my fanfic account, but not yet. I will also cross post this on some communities, but I don't know whether to link them to this (which has correct formatting, though it is minor) or to fanfiction. Bother.
My first (and quite possibly last) foray into the Get Backers’ fandom. Be kind to me! This has been my baby for a hella long time, (I’m pretty sure it’s been more than two U.S. presidential terms) so yeah. Enjoy! (If you’re wondering why the rant is so short here, wait till you get to the bottom!
Disclaimer: Absolutely no rights belong to me; this is all just twisted fun.
XxX
Ban sat at the top of the highest school building, one leg dangling precariously over the edge as he held a cigarette between his lips. His shirt wasn’t tucked, his tie was missing altogether and his shirt buttons were opened halfway, a black shirt peeking from underneath the white.
The smoke he blew out curled around him, forming some kind of corrupted halo. He flicked the ash into the air, the wind carrying it away before tearing it apart. He smirked as he dropped the still smouldering fag, sadistically hoping it fell on some hapless idiot running around beneath him. He scowled at a blond boy who scored a basketball hoop, the adoring, mindless crowd ‘ooh’ing and ‘ahh’ing. It must be the ever-popular Ginji, student representative and all-around Mr-Nice-Guy. The yellow spikes bobbed up and down as he slapped high fives with everyone.
Disgusted, Ban looked away from the crowd and looked off into the horizon, towards the direction where Germany, his birthplace was supposed to be. He pulled out another smoke and lit it up, sighing in satisfaction as the poisoned nicotine air filled his lungs, indulging his oral obsession. He didn’t notice the blond head turn in his direction. Ban was yawning, cigarette already halfway through, when he heard running footsteps on the stairs, and the door slammed open, the broken lock (courtesy of Ban) dangling uselessly. Ban blew another breath calmly.
“Ban!” Ginji rushed up to him and tore the cigarette from between his fingers, before throwing it onto the ground and extinguishing it.
“I wasn’t finished with that.” Ban said absently, yawning again. Ginji fumed, and planted his hands on his skinny hips.
“Do you know just how bad those things are for you?!” He lectured, and Ban tried to stifle a groan.
“They give you heart disease, asthma, tar in your lungs, c-cancer…”
“Not exactly a problem for me here.” Ban snapped tersely, pushing his glasses back onto his nose viciously.
“Ban-chan…” Ginji said again, trailing off.
“Save it.” Ban said again, and his tone told Ginji not to push it further. Ban almost wanted to reach for another, but he glanced at Ginji and instead he began playing with his Zippo lighter, barely noticing the voluptuous and rather naked relief of a woman. The bell rang, deafening in their ears. When the last note faded and Ginji was still there, Ban turned towards his best, and undoubtedly only friend.
“Aren’t you supposed to go to class, Mr Student Representative?” He asked drolly. Ginji looked almost sheepish, as he ruffled his blond spikes and laughed, scuffing the ground with his sneakers.
“Nah. Think I’ll stay with you a little longer.” He said, and flushed at the admittance and how sentimental it sounded. Ban shrugged his shoulders, kind of glad for the company but not willing to admit it.
“Suit yourself. But you know you’ll get the rap if they catch you with a ‘bad influence’ like me.” Ban smirked. He can almost see it now, the teachers having an apoplectic fit over their favourite pet shirking class to hang out with the school’s infamous criminal.
Ban flicked the lighter open and ignited a flame, passing his fingers through dangerously slow. The school seemed to not quite know what to think of him, when he first transferred at the start of the year, the only thing they were sure of was their utter bewilderment and despair that Amano Ginji, their very own Golden Boy, made it his personal mission to become Ban’s best friend, and wouldn’t hear of any of their warnings. They comforted themselves in thinking Ginji was just being an angel, saving a devil from his sins, as Ban quickly made it obvious that he was very much a delinquent. He was highly amused at some of the hardier rumours still going around. That he went to clubs every night and went home with twenty women; he had mafia connections and was involved in arms and drugs trafficking, that he was the ringleader of some underground anarchist group. That he was a murderer. The lighter snapped shut. At least that wasn’t a rumour. They simply didn’t know that.
Soon they heard heavy, measured steps on the stairs again. Ban stiffened and a snarl curled his lip. Ginji looked worried. Fuyuki Shido opened the door the roof, an unpleasant expression on his face.
“Ginji.” He gave him a respectful nod. “Midou.” He said with a lot more venom, “What a surprise to see you up here smoking and skipping class.”
“Suck it up and shove it where the sun don’t shine.” Ban replied casually. “It’s actually more of a surprise not to see you licking your own package like the dog you are.”
“What did you just say?!” Shido snarled, and advanced. Quickly, Ban had flipped around to stand on his feet, looking casual but his eyes were focused and deadly behind their tinted lenses. Ban spat at the ground, highly annoyed. He’d never like this guy, no matter what universe they were in, and Ban sneered.
“Couldn’t hear me? Thought dogs had exceptional hearing. You must be of a lower breed then.”
Shido seemed disinclined to reply, except with his fist. Ginji got up in time to push the two apart.
“Honestly! You two are such children!” Ginji scolded, shaking a finger at them. Ban and Shido looked at Ginji, of all people saying that in incredulity. And for the first time, the two nemeses agreed upon something and started laughing. Ginji looked bemused.
“What? What did I say?” He pouted. Ban shook his head and leaned on Ginji. “Baaaaan-chaaaaan~” Ginji whined, tugging at his sleeve. Ban laughed harder. Finally, the laughter dissipated, and the two men wiped away tears while Ginji pouted.
“Ginji.” Shido said, his face back into its stoic mask, laughter lightening his eyes, “The teacher is looking for you.” Ginji cocked his head.
“About the festival next month?”
“Yeah.” Ginji stuck his lower lip out.
“She can keep looking then.” He said petulantly. Shido looked surprised. Ban snickered. “I’m sick of her shoving all the work she should be doing at me.” Shido gave a shrug.
“Alright then. But you know she’s just going to go badger Kazuki.” Ginji’s eyes widened, and he began flapping his arms.
“Whaaat? Aw man, I should go find her then.”
“It’s fine, Ginji.” They looked towards the door again to see Fuuchouin Kazuki in the doorway with his boyfriend Kakei Juubei leaning against the doorjamb.
“Bloody hells, what is this, invade my private space hour? Even the sewing kit duo is here.” Ban griped, referring to the fact that they were the presidents of the sewing club.
“It’s public property, moron.” Shido snapped.
“If I say it’s mine, it’s mine, dog-breath.” Ginji looked pleadingly at Shido, who seemed to restrain himself with great will. “Christ, practically all of the student representatives here. I feel so honoured.” Ban snarked, honestly irritated at the lot, especially Ginji for attracting them, and went back to standing on the ledge, overlooking the school and rather pointedly ignoring them.
Ginji pouted at Ban’s backside, and turned back to his friends with a rather dejected air. “I guess we’ll have to find ol’ Fujisaka-sensei and talk to her about the festival?” Shido was about to reply, when Kazuki stepped in and waved a hand elegantly.
“Like I said, it’s fine Ginji. I’ll sort it out.”
“But - ” Ginji protested.
“No, no. I insist. Emishi thought up a good theme this year, and he wants to run with it. You don’t mind?” Ginji blinked, while Shido turned around to eye Kazuki, wondering if the elegant man had lost his marbles somewhere.
“Of course not, Kazuki-kun. I was stumped for a theme actually. So he has it sorted? Does he need any help?”
“Oh, no he’s fine! I’m helping him actually, don’t worry.” Kazuki gave Ginji a wide smile, before turning to Shido “Shido, Emishi wanted to talk to you about animal attractions.” Shido cautiously followed Kazuki and Juubei down the stairs again, looking back over his shoulder suspiciously at Ban.
“Ne, isn’t the festival exciting?” Ginji chirped as he climbed up to sit beside Ban. Ban grunted, an unlit smoke dangling from his mouth. Anything Emishi thought up would undoubtedly be in technicolour and plastered with Hawaiian floral prints. He sucked through the filter to get a little taste of the nicotine. "Maa maa, Ban-chan, you're going to come right?" Ginji looked up at him from under his messy fringe. Ban felt like saying no, simply because he really wasn't interested, but he had a bad habit of caving in to whatever Ginji wanted. Ban sighed to himself. That was a dangerous weakness to have for him.
"I’ll think about it." He muttered, and gave a faint smile when Ginji jumped up and cheered, since that was usually Ban-speak for ‘I don’t want to, but I’ll let you drag me there’. His jumping however, was miscalculated by one step, and next thing he knew he was tilting over the edge. Ban wished he could say it happened in slow motion for him, but before his brain had even processed the thought that Ginji was about to die, his reflexes had his hand snapping out to wrap itself around Ginji’s arm and jerk him back.
Ginji righted himself quickly, hand to his thundering heart as the adrenaline rushed through him. He stared at Ban, who looked nonchalant and somewhat disinterested.
"You alright?" He asked, pushing his glasses up and chewing the filter slightly.
"Y-yeah... But Ban-chan, you -” Ban bopped him over the head with his knuckles.
"Dummy. Watch where you're stepping next time." Ginji clutched his sore head, and watched as Ban casually walked down the stairs. With the shock out of his system, Ginji became distinctly aware of the throbbing in his arm. Lifting it, he found an ugly bruise about the shape of a large hand forming. Ginji stared at where Ban's retreating back had disappeared to, and rubbed his sore arm. He wasn't sure if Ban was deliberately avoiding the subject, but... Ban hadn't moved an iota when he pulled him back. Only his arm had moved, and Ginji hadn’t even seen it, and the other hand was still firmly in his pocket. Ginji was no light weight, and neither had his fall been slight. And no normal person could have a grip so strong it left such serious bruises so quickly. Ban-chan...
Ban stopped at the landing of the stairs, one hand leaning against the rail. Stupid, goddamn idiot! He swore inside his head. If Ginji hadn't been so careless, he wouldn't have lost control like that and gripped him that hard. His hand tightened, heart racing against his will, and the steel railing creaked as it bent and warped out of shape. Moron. Such a moron.
XxX
"Ban-chan!" Ban turned around when he heard his name called, and sure enough, it was Ginji at the school gates, his bag at his feet and his basketball jacket on, waving furiously. Ban couldn't help but think of that arm as a tail, and Ginji the ever-loyal puppy. The other students were so used to his antics that they barely paid any attention, including the fact that he dared to call Midou Ban 'Ban-chan'. The local Yankees had the thought to pick a fight over it, but after Ban wiped the floor with them and both parties received a scolding from Ginji, the gangsters decided they loved Ginji quite as much as everybody else, and left Ban alone. As Ban moved up to him, Ginji excitedly hopped forward to fall into step with him, so easily, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Ban tried to shake off the comforting feeling this gave him.
"Ban-chan, you heading home?" Ginji asked him as they walked along their usual route, before they parted ways in the park.
"Yeah, I am." Ban replied, and ignored Ginji's surprised look. Ginji always asked him that question, even though he knew Ban usually went anywhere but back to his lonely apartment, not until late in the night. It was usually bars or pachinko parlours.
"Then you wanna come back to my place?" Ginji bounced on the balls of his feet. "Mum made your favourites and - and today she's gonna be visiting auntie so we'll have the house to ourselves and we can play video games till really late and she won't yell at us." Ginji grinned at him, and Ban sighed. Oh he was not naive at all - Ginji's mother could be near diabolical when she wanted something, and it was usually a baby-sitter for Ginji. But he agreed, because the woman could cook like the best, and he was sick of takeouts. Ginji cheered and chattered besides him.
Ban glanced at his companion, and tightened his hold on his bag, cuffing the blond for some stupid remark about penguins at the North Pole. He gave an inward sigh. He really wasn’t supposed to be here anymore, he was meant to take stock of the situation, take appropriate action for it, and then leave. But Ginji clung on stubbornly like some kind of persistent fungus, and now he was stuck here for an indefinite amount of time. It’s not that he wasn’t flattered, but there was only so much time, so many chances you could take before your past, and your demons, caught up with you. He was fast running out of both and the price was something far too high for him to pay. He looked at Ginji again, unknowing of his wistful expression.
"Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!" Ginji bellowed when he entered the house, kicking his shoes off haphazardly. Ban took his shoes off in a much more elegant manner, and arranged Ginji's shoes. A blonde woman came down the stairs, her arms full of washing for the week. Her hair was of a browner shade than those of Ginji's, having darkened with age. Raising a son alone had also put lines on her face, but she was still the stunning beauty she once was when younger. Ginji had inherited her slender face shape, though his jaws were more prominent. His eyes however were from his father - Eliza had dark blue eyes.
"Ginji, what did I tell you about kicking your shoes off when we have vases in the foyer?" Eliza scolded, and her son whined at her. She turned to Ban, who stood there with a slight knowing smile. She beamed at him "And it's always good to see you Ban! Nice to see someone in this day and age with some manners!" She huffily went into the kitchen to sort the laundry, while Ginji trailed behind her, protesting and asking for food in the same breath.
"Oh here you go you monster. Just keep growing why don't you?" She complained good heartedly, shoving a plate in front of Ginji, who dug in ferociously. "You want anything Ban? Your dinners are in the fridge by the way boys; just heat it up when you want it. Your favourite too, Ban!" She smiled at him, almost innocently, and Ban smirked at her.
"Of course, you need something to lure the baby-sitter in, right? Well, hook line and sinker, I'm here." She grinned at him, and ruffled her son's hair affectionately when he insisted through a full mouth he did not need a baby-sitter; yet the newly repaired hole in the far corner of the kitchen wall from the last time he was left alone spoke volumes in its silent accusation.
As the energetic blond told her about his day, blow by blow with his usual wild gestures and exaggerations, she ‘hmm’ed and nodded and gasped appropriately at all the right places while she sorted and folded the clothes, smelling gorgeously of warmth and laundry detergent. Ban watched the picturesque scene for a moment, an unnamed emotion crawling down his throat, then slipped away quietly to Ginji's room on the top floor. The house Ginji lived in with his mother wasn't grand, but it was quite well to do. When Ginji's father had died, he had left his considerable wealth to his widow and son. Having paid for the house entirely, the mother and son pair lived comfortably, though Eliza still worked to keep herself busy, 'in case I get senile' she claimed, though she had just brushed her late thirties. Ginji's room was typical of him. There appeared to be attempts at some sort of organisation, but as most things with Ginji were, the order seemed a little ADD and most things were lying in the way. Still, Ban manoeuvred his way around easily, dumping his bag by the foot of the bed and settling into the rumpled bed. Picking up Ginji's latest bedtime read, Death Comes for the Archbishop - Ban snorted at the morbid title, and began to read. Half an hour later, Ginji poked his bright blond head around the door and motioned for him. Ban's eyes did not miss that while Ginji's jacket had come off, there was dressing on where the bruise would be. Fist clenching, the brunet followed him down the stairs to bid farewell to Eliza, who warned them to behave themselves before waving cheerily and closing the door.
"It's soooooo gooooood to have the house to ourselves!" Ginji crowed as he rolled around on the bed, loosening his tie as he did so. Ban kicked him slightly with his foot.
"Don't you get too excited, I'm still keeping an eye on you." He crouched down to fiddle with the video game console.
"But Ban-chan," Ginji chirped as he hung over the side of the bed and poked at him, "it's still gonna be great cos I'm gonna beat your ass to the ground this time in Tekken!"
"In your dreams, dope."
In the end, Ban still won by a wide margin. "Whyyyyy..." Ginji moaned as he hung his head dejectedly, "can I never winnnn?" Ban looked back from where he was smoking outside on the balcony, and smirked smugly.
"You mash the buttons. There's finesse in what I do." Ginji stuck his tongue out at him.
"I bet you just get lucky."
"I must be the luckiest guy on earth then. Or maybe you just have the shittiest luck." He laughed, while Ginji fumed at him.
Ban had just put out his last cigarette for the night when he felt Ginji come up behind him, mimicking him by leaning on the banister. "Maa maa, Ban-chan…" He trailed off, looking thoughtful. Ban pushed his glasses up and looked over the darkening sky, intense orange and crimson overcome by velvet blue and black. A soft hand on his arm made him look at Ginji, and the younger boy reached up slowly to his face. Instinctively, his hand flew up lightning-quick to grab his wrists. "Please..." Ginji murmured, and Ban was surprised enough to let go of him, curious to what he wanted. Ginji took off his glasses, and Ban blinked at the sudden colours brought to his vision. The blood orange of the setting sun set off reddish highlights in Ginji's hair, while his tanned skin was accentuated with the warm tones of the light. Ban blinked, like it had just struck him how pleasing his best friend was on the eyes. He was rather discomforted by that thought - his life was complicated enough as it is.
The violet lenses in Ginji's hands weren't something he really needed; his vision was just fine without them. But they put something between him and other people, more so perhaps for their sake. Most found his clear electric blue eyes unnerving. Ginji perched the round spectacles in his hair and grinned at him brightly. Ban sighed, "Ginji, give them back."
He shook his head. "Nope!" And continued to look towards the flaming horizon. Ban could easily swipe those glasses so fast Ginji wouldn't even realise they were gone until he looked at him again to see him wearing them, but for some reason he refrained. Maybe he wanted to see how Ginji reacted to his eyes and their terrible gaze.
"We should grab some dinner." Ginji said suddenly, and started for the stairs. Ban blinked at his retreating back. For a split second there, the situation had become something Ban did not understand. And worst of all, did not have control over. Slightly disconcerted, he went down to join Ginji, who had somehow managed to make dark smoke billow out of the sparking microwave already. Thankfully, it was only a small portion of their dinner, as Eliza made food for them like a famine was about to come upon an army. This of course meant that the two still fought over who got to have the best bits, and spent the next ten minutes feeling like a round beach ball, waddling up the stairs to collapse on the bed and chair.
"God I'm so full..." Ginji gasped from the bed, and Ban grunted in agreement. "I don't think I should have had dessert." The blond groaned, and Ban threw a cushion at him.
"I told you..." He burped, and groaned too.
"Uuugghhh... Let's watch something... take my mind off this... I feel so bloated..." In the end, the two of them settled down enough to watch some action packed movie that always had Ginji jumping excitedly at the loud explosion scenes. Soon enough though, Ginji had fallen asleep, lulled by a full stomach and the warmth of another person, despite the loud movie. Ban glanced at the clock: 11:46, no later than if his mother had been home anyway. He sighed, and looked at the blond, who was currently drooling profusely all over his shoulder. His eyebrow twitched a merry dance.
"Dear god, Ginji, wake your ass up, you're slobbering all over me!" He pushed at the sleeping boy, who smacked his lips and drooled a bit more before he woke enough to mutter sleepily if the house was on fire - and if not, please shut up. Eventually Ban had to pinch him hard on the arm before Ginji yelped awake, and was pulled into the bathroom to get them prepared for bed. Ban shuddered as he tore off the half soaked shirt, dumping it in a corner before pulling one of Ginji's wife beaters on. He sniffed, and for a moment appreciated the smell only a mother could bring to laundry.
While he had been brushing his teeth with the spare toothbrush they kept for him, he looked at himself in the mirror, and beside him Ginji was brushing half-heartedly with closed eyes. Ban stared at his purplish blue eyes, looking like shards of broken glass even in the dim light. He blinked, remembering that Ginji had taken his glasses. He glanced at him, who now looked like he was foaming at the mouth, and sighed. Trust Ginji to be impervious to his piercing gaze - hell the boy was immune to everything else about him that made him dangerous. Maybe the boy had an impaired survival instinct… Ban glanced at Ginji again, and saw that the foam had dribbled onto his shirt. Among many other impairments...
And for the next part (since this is too long for LJ to handle... earth-borne.livejournal.com/48562.html