Green and Blue
Sometimes it feels as though the whole world will never work the way that I want to, or maybe it's just the way that I need it to.
I saw Emily today, but only for a few hours. She is one of those best friends that I can go forever without seeing and then when I do it's like no time has passed at all.
I have started to redecorate my room a little. Sometimes I feel like I change who I am every year and with that change comes new styles of clothes and posters and bed sheets and songs taking up space in my computer. I guess I am still finding out who I am, trying to define myself. And I worry that I will never be able to say, "This is who I am..." and then give a whole list of things. But why should I have to do that? No one ever said that I'm supposed to be one way, and so I guess it's fine to slide through life without ever having any sort of definition at all. It's almost better that way because then I can be something different every single day and it doesn't matter.
I have been so bored and lonely lately because none of my friends are out of school yet.
And yesterday my mom mowed the grass. And then it rained in the night so that this morning the air was filled with the scent of grass and rain. Green and blue. And it was so perfect that I forgot my boredom and then realized that I was glad to be home.
I saw Emily today, but only for a few hours. She is one of those best friends that I can go forever without seeing and then when I do it's like no time has passed at all.
I have started to redecorate my room a little. Sometimes I feel like I change who I am every year and with that change comes new styles of clothes and posters and bed sheets and songs taking up space in my computer. I guess I am still finding out who I am, trying to define myself. And I worry that I will never be able to say, "This is who I am..." and then give a whole list of things. But why should I have to do that? No one ever said that I'm supposed to be one way, and so I guess it's fine to slide through life without ever having any sort of definition at all. It's almost better that way because then I can be something different every single day and it doesn't matter.
I have been so bored and lonely lately because none of my friends are out of school yet.
And yesterday my mom mowed the grass. And then it rained in the night so that this morning the air was filled with the scent of grass and rain. Green and blue. And it was so perfect that I forgot my boredom and then realized that I was glad to be home.