Being Clueless
I'll be the first to tell you my husband can be clueless. What's kept me from smothering him in his sleep is the fact that usually, I can laugh about how clueless he is.
For example...He's knows practically nothing about computers. He's convinced that one day he'll click on something and the entire computer will implode. He'd never had a computer (or had to deal with one) until he'd married me nearly 10 years ago. I'm not kidding. So, to say he's clueless about computers is an understatement. Just last week, E was clicking away at the computer keys and he immediately began to panic.
M: "OH MY GOD. What did she DO? Did she break it? Why's that green light on?!"
Me: "Will you relax. My God, it's the caps/lock button."
True story.
That sort of cluelessness I can handle.
Then there's the kind that makes me want to pack up his shit and change the locks.
My mother-in-law threw us a baby shower Friday for all of M's female relatives. My mother and sisters were invited as well. My mom arrived about a half hour into the party, said hello to everyone and then sat beside me for the rest of the night. She hasn't seen M's relatives in nearly 3 years (since E's baptism) and by the time she'd arrived, everyone was already seated, so she couldn't really join any other table than ours. Fine. Where else would she really sit but with her daughters, right? There wasn't mingling at all. Everyone stayed seated for the majority of the night (there were nearly 40 of us in my mother-in-law's basement).
Fine.
My M-i-L paid for the catering ($400-$500) and announced that in addition to the shower, she and my F-i-L would also buy the babies their homecoming outfits. I thanked her for her gift and in my thank you speech, made certain to acknowledge their generosity in opening their home and hosting a shower for us in addition to the outfits.
My mom? My mom bought us a $50 gift set of bottles, $60 worth of towels, $45 worth of blankets, $75 worth of snowsuits, AND she is buying each of the babies a brand new crib (so figure another $700-$800 dollars).
When the shower was over, my mother and sisters said goodbye to everyone and left since my sister had to get back to her son and my mom had to work at 6 a.m. the following day.
STILL fine.
The next morning, M dropped E off at his mom's and returned home to get some work done. As I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was saying how nice the shower had been, M says in the snottiest, most asshole-y voice, loudly enough for me to hear:
"Yeah, tell her thanks for being so sociable last night."
Can you fuckin' believe the NERVE of this guy?
I thought my head was going to explode and the first thing out of my mouth SHOULD have been, "Why don't YOU thank her for spending nearly ONE THOUSAND dollars on your unborn children?!" but instead, all I could say was, "What did your bitch of a mother and sisters SAY when you went there this morning?"
Dude, I was pissed. Especially b/c I know he didn't really think it up on his own but that his mom or sisters put that negative thought into his head. They probably said something and then he came home and acted like an asshole to me. I wish I would have had the presence of mind to immediately call his mom and ask her if she had some sort of problem w/my mom and sort of shame her into realizing that instead of criticizing my mom for not being a social butterfly, she should have been commended for being so ABSOLUTELY generous to these triplets.
I'm still livid over this and I've barely spoken two words to him since Saturday morning. But he's SO FUCKIN' CLUELESS he doesn't even know why I'm SO PISSED.
I know, I know, I should explain it to him since all I'm doing is driving myself NUTS but a part of me (the evil part that doesn't think things through...) wants to pull a sneak attack and call his mom out of the blue and very nonchalantly ask if she has some problem w/my mom and mention that M came home to tell me that they'd been "wondering what was wrong with her." His words about what his mom and sisters said, as if I haven't been around this fuckin' family for the last FOURTEEN years, as if I didn't know how their minds worked.
Of course, the incredibly childish part of me wants to wait until he's on the phone with his mom and say, "Tell her thanks for being so frickin' cheap." I know, totally immature, but... *shrugs.*
For example...He's knows practically nothing about computers. He's convinced that one day he'll click on something and the entire computer will implode. He'd never had a computer (or had to deal with one) until he'd married me nearly 10 years ago. I'm not kidding. So, to say he's clueless about computers is an understatement. Just last week, E was clicking away at the computer keys and he immediately began to panic.
M: "OH MY GOD. What did she DO? Did she break it? Why's that green light on?!"
Me: "Will you relax. My God, it's the caps/lock button."
True story.
That sort of cluelessness I can handle.
Then there's the kind that makes me want to pack up his shit and change the locks.
My mother-in-law threw us a baby shower Friday for all of M's female relatives. My mother and sisters were invited as well. My mom arrived about a half hour into the party, said hello to everyone and then sat beside me for the rest of the night. She hasn't seen M's relatives in nearly 3 years (since E's baptism) and by the time she'd arrived, everyone was already seated, so she couldn't really join any other table than ours. Fine. Where else would she really sit but with her daughters, right? There wasn't mingling at all. Everyone stayed seated for the majority of the night (there were nearly 40 of us in my mother-in-law's basement).
Fine.
My M-i-L paid for the catering ($400-$500) and announced that in addition to the shower, she and my F-i-L would also buy the babies their homecoming outfits. I thanked her for her gift and in my thank you speech, made certain to acknowledge their generosity in opening their home and hosting a shower for us in addition to the outfits.
My mom? My mom bought us a $50 gift set of bottles, $60 worth of towels, $45 worth of blankets, $75 worth of snowsuits, AND she is buying each of the babies a brand new crib (so figure another $700-$800 dollars).
When the shower was over, my mother and sisters said goodbye to everyone and left since my sister had to get back to her son and my mom had to work at 6 a.m. the following day.
STILL fine.
The next morning, M dropped E off at his mom's and returned home to get some work done. As I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was saying how nice the shower had been, M says in the snottiest, most asshole-y voice, loudly enough for me to hear:
"Yeah, tell her thanks for being so sociable last night."
Can you fuckin' believe the NERVE of this guy?
I thought my head was going to explode and the first thing out of my mouth SHOULD have been, "Why don't YOU thank her for spending nearly ONE THOUSAND dollars on your unborn children?!" but instead, all I could say was, "What did your bitch of a mother and sisters SAY when you went there this morning?"
Dude, I was pissed. Especially b/c I know he didn't really think it up on his own but that his mom or sisters put that negative thought into his head. They probably said something and then he came home and acted like an asshole to me. I wish I would have had the presence of mind to immediately call his mom and ask her if she had some sort of problem w/my mom and sort of shame her into realizing that instead of criticizing my mom for not being a social butterfly, she should have been commended for being so ABSOLUTELY generous to these triplets.
I'm still livid over this and I've barely spoken two words to him since Saturday morning. But he's SO FUCKIN' CLUELESS he doesn't even know why I'm SO PISSED.
I know, I know, I should explain it to him since all I'm doing is driving myself NUTS but a part of me (the evil part that doesn't think things through...) wants to pull a sneak attack and call his mom out of the blue and very nonchalantly ask if she has some problem w/my mom and mention that M came home to tell me that they'd been "wondering what was wrong with her." His words about what his mom and sisters said, as if I haven't been around this fuckin' family for the last FOURTEEN years, as if I didn't know how their minds worked.
Of course, the incredibly childish part of me wants to wait until he's on the phone with his mom and say, "Tell her thanks for being so frickin' cheap." I know, totally immature, but... *shrugs.*