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Mar 26, 2009 12:48

Title: My Heart Draws A Dream!
Author: EarnestInBerlin
Beta: HYPRAKKTIV
Theme: 018. Dream
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: MiyavixBou (main)
Band[s]: Solo Miyavi, Antic Cafe
Disclaimer: I’m a lonely city girl~~ *Now do you want me to sing? Of course not! xD
Comments: Wow... I’ve been abandoning this fic over and over. Will you any of guys ever forgive me? D:
Summary: Bou is your not so average cross dressing student who has been going to Holy Garden University for the last two (and a half!) years. All he wants (and needs) is a quiet life and to finally graduate from the horrid school he’s been forced to attend.

Not going to happen to this cross dresser.

Previously:
Chapitre Un
Chapitre Deux
Chapitre Trois
Chapitre Quatre
Chapitre Cinq
Chapitre Six
Chapitre Sept (Bonus Chapter)
Chapitre Huit
Chapitre Neuf
Chapitre Dix
Chapitre Onze
Chapitre Douze
Chapitre Treize
Chapitre Quatorze
Chapitre Quinze
Chapitre Seize
Chapitre Dix-sept



For NOT the first time in his life, the ore-sama was confused and it was because of that stupid bomb shell.

How on earth could this happen? Wasn’t he trying his best to be a good guy? He even went as far as being patient with the blond that night, trying to hide his own irritations whenever Bou wanted this or that. Where did he go wrong? Shouldn’t Bou love him by now? Did Bou even love him at all? What on earth was he thinking?

Maybe the bastard at the bar was right. Maybe Bou was just forcing himself on him for the money. If he thinks about it, being with the ore-sama, the blond didn’t have to suffer the trials of being a red card victim.

Miyavi felt stupid, he felt hurt and he felt angry.

But Bou seemed so sincere, the type of person who wouldn’t do things like that. He buried his head on his arms, his cell phone ringing with calls from his sister who wanted to know what was going on. He hadn’t told her anything yet, but he wished he could. At least he could blow off some steam, and finally get the tears out of his eyes.

He had never cried for anyone before, not even for sister who left him at such an early age. Hell, Gackt- who was his close confidante- hasn’t even seen him cry before. He didn’t do crying very well, that’s why he looked really weird last night with Bou.

Bou. Yeah.

He smiled, bitterly but wiped it off hastily off his face.

He stood up; this was not making any sense. He should go walk or something, that’s what most people did when they’re trying to clearing their head. Maybe he should do the same thing; air would be good for him.

With that, he stood up and left the ringing cell phone on top of his desk.

69696969696

Miku and Bou stumbled while they walked home; it was morning by the time they got back to the apartment. The violet, twilit sky loomed while the sun started to rise from the edge of the earth, giving that almost ethereal colour to the canvas over their heads but they didn’t have time to look at that. All that the brunette wanted was to get Bou home, and get to sleep.

Miku had one of Bou’s arms over his shoulder, trying to get the blonde’s whole weight on him as they trudge forward. Most of their walk was shrouded in silence, Bou too tired to even cry. Miku attempted conversation earlier but gave up when the blond kept his silent front, later telling his best friend that his voice was giving him a headache- that certainly kept Miku shut.

They spent most of the time walking down dark streets with some people looking at them in concern while most just stared strangely. Other even dared hiss at them a bit. Miku just continued to lead Bou on, they didn’t need anyone else when they had each other.

They finally got to the door, Bou leaned more onto Miku, gripping him tight and afraid that he’ll disappear if he ever lets go. He grabbed for the keys in his pockets, but it took a while before he finally opened the door. The brunette led the boy inside their apartment, made him sit somewhere, making sure he was okay before he went back to the blond and tried to look at him.

The brunette was stopped, Bou’s hand over his when he tried to check his face, “Bou-chan?”

“No, Miku... just... no... I’m tired, I just... please I want to sleep” the blond looked at Miku with his tired and dirty face. His hair was all messy and his uniform was in all places wrong, scratches from here and there.

Miku tried one more time to help him, hold his hand as softly as he could with his own before the blond flinched and told him it hurt. The brunette stopped what he was doing and bit his lip, apologizing for causing pain to his friend.

He asked his best friend if he wanted to drink some water. He asked his best friend if he wanted to eat some food. He asked his best if he wanted to anything, running his hand through his hair carefully, not wanting to cause him pain. He pulled back when he saw the other frown again at his actions.

“I... I just want to lie down... please help me, Miku.” the blond silently requested. His best friend nodded his head before he lifted Bou again, trying his best to help him again. Bou let out a small moan of pain, something which made Miku stop his movements first asking him if he was okay.

“It’s... don’t worry Miku... just get me to bed... I’m just really tired.”

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“I told you to stop calling me; you’re not part of my life anymore! So please, unless you want me to call the police on you, stay out of this!”

Miyavi was minding his own business, walking on the park being the saddest piece of humanity the world has known when he bumped into someone. Because he was so busy in his musings, he didn’t have time to actually watch where he was going, ended in him colliding with a man who was busy on his cell phone and who like Miyavi wasn’t really paying attention to what might come his way.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” the ore-sama declared, angry at the other for not keeping track. He was on the floor, fallen on his butt, the other was in the same position as him.

“Oh I’m sorry! I hope I didn’t hurt you!” the man before him said, disregarding the fact that the ore-sama used a rather unfriendly tone with him. He first looked around and looked for his phone, grabbed for it and stood up, dusting the invisible dirt off his clothes. After that, he looked down on Miyavi who still looked a bit sour. He held out hand, “Do you need any help?”

“Yeah, thanks a lot” Miyavi said, taking that hand, looking up at the man before him. And then it struck him, “You look familiar... do I know you?”

“Uh... me?” the dark haired brunette asked, pointing at himself. And from the calm composure he had before he reverted to this very nervous person who didn’t seem to know what to say “Me? I never met you before... um... yeah, never met in my entire life! Of course we haven’t met, nope! Don’t know who you are! Me?”

And he laughed nervously, to which Miyavi raised an eyebrow. That man is really weird.

“Okay, you don’t have to overreact... I just thought you looked a tad bit familiar...” the ore-sama said, his lips curling.

“Of course not! We never met before!” the tall man said, he was tall partly because of the platform shoes he was wearing. “Believe me when I say we never met!”

“Fine! You don’t have to go all freak on me!” the ore-sama said, raising his hands in the air, “God, first I get separated with the one I love at a party who, may or may not be cheating on me. Then he has to lose the bracelet that was supposed to mean something, and now I get the fucking pleasure to meet a paranoid fuck like you! Can my life get any worse?”

“Hey, whoa! Back up!” the man before said, “I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that Paranoid comment in your sentence. But you sound like you’ve been having a terrible time over there”

“Yeah, it’s been one hell of a fucking rollercoaster” Miyavi said, kicking at the ground, “It’s... I don’t know really... I’m just fucking confused....”

The man before him looked down at the boy, shaking his head with his arms crossed over his chest.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” the ore-sama asked angrily, not liking the smile that crept up on the other’s face. He didn’t like it when people were laughing at him, it was just part of his bad-ass nature.

“You remind me of someone I know actually” the man laughed, not minding the glare that Miyavi was sending him “Short tempered and easily confused, you two are so similar.”

“So? It’s not like you understand anyway! Fuck, why on earth am I even telling you this!?”

“Don’t worry... I... um... don’t know you and you don’t know me,” the man said, hesitating a bit at somewhere, “And besides, it’s not like I’m going to tell anyone you know. You can lay it all out on me, I can help you”

Miyavi cocked his head to a side, this was really tempting. But he was just tad bit suspicious.

“Fine, just so you know, my name is Tetsuya, but you can call me tetsu for short.” he let out a small sound when he saw that look on Miyavi’s face so he held out a hand for Miyavi to shake. Hoping the concerned expression on his face was enough for the boy, and that he could trust him enough.

“Tetsu? That’s... I know I heard of that name before-” Miyavi said, furrowing his brows, he knows that face was very familiar and the name. Why does he feel like he’s seen it somewhere? As if-

“Yes, yes! I know me and the bassist of that pop band, Raru whatever chair have the same name” the man covered quickly, shaking Miyavi’s hand more than necessary, “But I assure you, the name is all we have in common... and maybe the fashion sense but everything else, we are totally different!”

“No, I didn’t mean that guy! I meant someone else, like from school. Have you ever been to Holy-?”

“We never met okay! We just met now” the now named brunette said, drawing up little patterns in the air just to keep the arrogant boy from trying to remember who he really was “Enough about me, who cares about me right?” He laughed out loud before he realized that the Ore-sama was staring at him as if he was going crazy. He coughed a bit before he tried to look normal, “What was that about your love life going down the rocks? Maybe I can help you”

“Fine...” Miyavi said, letting go of tetsu’s shake, looking at the older man as if he’s gone bonkers before he let out a small sigh and kicked back at the floor “It’s kind of pathetic actually... you might laugh at me”

“Kid, I’m old enough to know the pangs of love and war,” tetsu laughed heartily, he was really fond of laughing, Miyavi noted, “And if you’re like the person I think you are, and then I guess I can help you out.”

“Okay then,” the ore-sama started, ready to unload what made up his life for the last few days to a complete stranger- though he has his doubts “Let’s go to that bench over there, it’s going to be a very long story.”

69696969696

The sun burned down on the floor while they stayed the way they are.

Bou and Miku went and lie down together; the blond crying and biting his fingers. He wouldn’t let Miku fix him, so instead of pushing it, Miku just stayed with Bou in bed. Lying down on top of the bed while waiting for whatever, they waited for the sun to stop shinning or the rain to come pouring. Anything. And all the time the only sounds that could be heard was the sound of the blond cross dresser whining and moaning but that’s all. Each time he tried to say something, the words would just stay stuck inside his throat, and when he finally let the all out, they all came in a big mix of gibberish.

Miku sighed and just stroked Bou’s hair, holding a hand while he tried to console his friend with fake words and empty promises.

Maybe the sun will keep on shinning.

And maybe it won’t rain.

But all the time Bou just shook his head and wouldn’t reply, clutching the front of Miku’s shirt while he leaned his head on his chest. Not knowing what to do or say.

Blood and bones may break, but in time they will heal and he will even forget about them. But his heart wasn’t going to fare well in this.

“Miku…” Bou started, while he tried to keep the other voices in his head from screaming at him. He was so sore, and his chest hurt and his head was pounding badly. It was a miracle he could manage to move, to speak, to even breathe, “I don’t feel so good…”

“That’s okay, Bou-chan” Miku held Bou to him a bit closer, careful not to do anything that will hurt his best friend, “Just… don’t talk too much, I know you’re very tired”

“No... I’m tired of this Miku... I can’t... I can’t take it anymore,” Bou buried his head on Miku’s shoulder and cried, “I just... don’t want to anymore... “

“Bou, I know you can’t...” the brunette ran his hand in the femme’s hair, biting his lip while he tried to think of some way to console his best friend, “Look if you don’t want to go to school tomorrow you don’t have to-”

“No, it’s more than that Miku...” the femme cried while he looked down, “I... don’t want to go back anymore... I... can’t... It’s Miyavi... He hates me.”

“Bou,” Miku shook his head while he tried to console his friend, “It’s... stop thinking about him... he... doesn’t matter, why should you even care about him? He’s not important anymore... stop thinking about him-”

“Don’t tell me to forget about him, Miku!” the blond screamed, “I can’t... I love him, Miku... I want to be with him... I can’t... I can’t... I don’t want to go if... he hates me... I can’t...”

69696969696

Tetsu patted Miyavi on the head, he smiled vibrantly at the other and then said, “You’re really a stupid boy.”

“Where on earth did that come from?” after having to spill out his hear to the other, he didn’t expect to get a feedback like that. He was expecting something more dramatic or at least sentimental, or mushy. Something you get to read from a Hallmark card at least; not that.

“Because, sadly my dear boy, you really are” tetsu shrugged his shoulder, for someone who was supposed to be older than him, he acted younger than his age. “I mean, you didn’t even give this ‘Bou’-person to explain his side of the problem. I bet Bou misses you a lot right now, I mean... speaking from experience”

“I don’t know what to do okay?” the ore-sama tried to look for a good excuse, “I was angry, wouldn’t you be angry if you were just left behind? And you didn’t know the many people who were staring at us at that party, fuck. What’s even worse, he had to lose the fucking bracelet I gave him”

“So you love the bracelet more than you love Bou? You cared what those other people think than being with Bou?” Tetsu pointed out, a finger on his chin, as if trying to digest Miyavi’s words, “And have you ever thought about how Bou must’ve felt all throughout this? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe... he was desperate himself when he lost the bracelet?”

“But...”

“What do you care for more? The bracelet or Bou? It’s simple as that, actually”

Miyavi looked down. It was special to him, something he wouldn’t give away unless he found the one. Didn’t he explain that part thoroughly to the older man?

“Miyavi, if you love someone so much,” tetsu sighed, “You don’t care what other people do or say about them or about you. Do you want to know why Bou put up you so much even though he always seems to say he hates you? Because deep inside, he cares about you, even if you grate on his nerves.”

“Well, I guess.”

“No, don’t give me that!” the man said, giving Miyavi a slight push, “You’re stupid for not listening. You’re stupid for not even thinking of how Bou might feel right now. You’re stupid because... I guess, you’re just a little kid.”

“Hey, I’m not a little kid!”

“I don’t mean that way!” the brunette rolled his eyes, “I mean, you didn’t really think thoroughly about things, but that’s okay. It’s your first time right? But honestly Miyavi, if you care about Bou as much as you say, then regardless if he was wrong you would believe him. Why? Because he’s important to you and you would defend him no matter what the consequence.

“That’s why people who fall in love are stupid, because they are loyal.” there was an icy edge to tetsu’s voice, something that didn’t suit his rather warm personality. And Miyavi couldn’t help but notice it when he said these words specifically, but the brunette looked away from the youngster and continued with what he was saying, “Nothing matters because if you really care and if you really love him... It’s always you guys against the world.”

“Us against the world, huh?” Miyavi shook his head.

“I feel horrible, Miyavi, who am I to talk?” tetsu looked up to the sky, “I couldn’t even keep my relationship with my ex-boyfriend because I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Some things...” tetsu beamed at him, before he looked out back to the distance in silent contemplation before he continued “I can’t really tell you, even if I want to, there are some things that shouldn’t be said out loud, but Hyde scared me so much. I’m just... I’m just using my brother as an excuse to get away… because I’m too scared to face him.”

“That sucks.” Miyavi raised a brow and followed Tetsu’s gaze, trying to find whatever the older man was looking at “You sound like an asshole.”

“Am I? Well, I deserve that at least, I haven’t been the best person to him. So I guess should shut up about you and... what was his name? Boo? Moo? Anyway... I don’t deserve to say any of the things I told you.”

“It’s Bou... his name is Bou and you know what?" standing up all of a sudden and stalking to the direction to that one place he knows Bou could be right now, “You may be a weirdo... but you’re right”

“Where are you going?” tetsu looked at the boy surprised.

“I’m going to do what you say and look for Bou.”

“Did I say that?” tetsu scratched the back of his head, watching the other run away.

“Thanks a lot, Weirdo! I’ll never forget this!”

Tetsu lifted a hand and waved, relieved that the other boy didn’t really remember who on earth he really was.

“Thank god that boy was too stupid to remember who I am.”

A/N: First I just want to thank HYPRAKKTIV for taking the time to read and go over my fic and saying what’s wrong with it and all that. Sigh, I didn’t make any major changes to it but I’m happy with what I have so far. I mean, I know I want it to come out good but by the next time I will make it a whole lot better.

And I want to apologize to people who want to read this but I took my time with this. I’m sorry, I’m just a very lazy person and what with college staking its toll on me. I know this isn’t the best chapter and it’s horribly short. Left a lot of holes and not ever good conversation is going on up there. XD But I hope you guys will still like it ^^

And because I love my other fic:

Please read my other fic called 2 Seconds to the Top. It’s Bou x Miyavi just angst and angst and nonsensical over analyzing of what could be or might not be love. ^^ Sankyuu!

tetsuxgackt, manaxgackt, bouxmiyavi, fanfic, gacktxmana, hydextetsu, miyavixbou

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