I think I need to begin trying harder to be social.

[earlpolliwog]

I am so very distractible. Even when I'm sitting down with my work and not getting up to check my mail or get some delicious tea, it's so hard to focus on it. My problem is that I find it very hard to get bored because there's always something to think about. I think I developed that when I was younger - the ability to get lost in thought when I'm bored. I was alone too much, or I needed to find some way to keep myself occupied when I couldn't sleep so I let my mind wander. Maybe there are more reasons. Anyways, now it's much easier to do that than to sit down with math homework. It's just so tough sometimes and my brain's like "hm, do I want to work hard at this stuff that's not so fun, or I'm a sex machine on my way to Maaaaars, like an atom bomb! I'm gonna go, go, go, there's no stoppin' mee! Hehe, on my way to Mars like an atom bomb. As if it were common practice to just nuke Mars when we feel like having a good time. That's funny! Also, if that's the case, why would a metaphorical sex machine be going there?" And so on.

So, I think if I give myself more motivation - "Hey, I'm excited to hang out with these people but I can only do it if I get this done before then" - then I'll be able to focus better. I've been too isolated lately and while it's partly cause I have genuinely been busy, it's also true that most of the other students seem to be able to handle at least some semblance of a social life while carrying similar workloads. So that's one of my goals for the future - after I get finals out of the way.