That is, in fact, what she said.
Friends! Following a thoroughly successful day of adventures with Krys including, but not limited to: an examination of the medical oddities of the famed Mutter Museum, the sampling of oft and deservingly praised crepes at Beau Monde, missing a magpie, the exploration of most of the city's great antique shops, the acquisition of the second top hat of the week and a kneeler to accompany the Fort's church pew, a great feast occurred. Long lost friends gathered at The Fort for a grand tea party, at which we tasted a mirage of teas from the antipodes, watercress sandwiches, fine cheeses, strawberries, pears, and grapes (even in winter!), and wine. We spoke of art and politics! We wore hats! And, most important of all, we noted, as we have all been long aware, that all of the existing terms in the whole of the English language for, shall we say, the naughty bits, are painfully inadequate. So we made new ones. Below is a partial list. Please review, amend, and advise.
the teacup of Venus
the Spear of Destiny
the horn of the unicorn
his quivering tower
Christopher Walken
his Spanish cigar
her secret grotto
her dark cavern
her mysterious pocket
her blushing apple blossom
her chastity and virtue
her secrets and lies
her cavern of jewels
his divining rod
her flowing cup freshly remembered
his beautiful hookah
ein übermensch
her jar of fine ointments
his proud peacock
her unlit room
his devil's tower
his calvary and artillery
le croquet
his devastating cannon
the devil's wineglass
his swift rapier
his plus three mace of increased strength
The Nautilus (I think this works equally well for most people's bits, actually.)
his gentleman in a bowler
his bright candlestick
her snuff box
And a few for the act:
to throw one's gauntlet
once more unto the breech dear friends
with a led pipe in the conservatory
sailors fighting in the dance hall
Some of these are absurdly insular, and such in-the-moment drivel that come morning even I won't remember exactly what we'd been raving about, but they're still a good deal better than the alternatives. More, more!
And thank you for your attention to this matter.
the teacup of Venus
the Spear of Destiny
the horn of the unicorn
his quivering tower
Christopher Walken
his Spanish cigar
her secret grotto
her dark cavern
her mysterious pocket
her blushing apple blossom
her chastity and virtue
her secrets and lies
her cavern of jewels
his divining rod
her flowing cup freshly remembered
his beautiful hookah
ein übermensch
her jar of fine ointments
his proud peacock
her unlit room
his devil's tower
his calvary and artillery
le croquet
his devastating cannon
the devil's wineglass
his swift rapier
his plus three mace of increased strength
The Nautilus (I think this works equally well for most people's bits, actually.)
his gentleman in a bowler
his bright candlestick
her snuff box
And a few for the act:
to throw one's gauntlet
once more unto the breech dear friends
with a led pipe in the conservatory
sailors fighting in the dance hall
Some of these are absurdly insular, and such in-the-moment drivel that come morning even I won't remember exactly what we'd been raving about, but they're still a good deal better than the alternatives. More, more!
And thank you for your attention to this matter.