Chaos Theory in Vortex Orbits in Relative Dimensions in Time and Space (18/27)
Title - Chaos Theory in Vortex Orbits in Relative Dimensions in Time and Space (18/27)
Author --
earlgreytea68
Rating - Teen
Characters -- Ten, Rose, Jackie, Pete, Owen, OCs
Spoilers: Through the end of S2.
Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make money off of them, but I don't like to dwell on that, so let's move on. (Except for Brem and Athena. They're all mine.)
Summary - And then there came a day when Rose said she was having a baby. Hijinks ensue from there.
Author’s Notes - I keep doing this to you guys, and I'm sorry for posting on consecutive days and then disappearing. I fail at organizing my weeks for you, I really do...
The icon was created by
punkinart , commissioned by
aibhinn , who graciously offered it to me for my use.
jlrpuck is so awesome and so in-demand that I am terribly flattered that somehow I stumbled into having her as a beta. Many thanks also to Kristin-who-won't-get-an-LJ, who brainstormed this fic with me endlessly, and
bouncy_castle79 , who gave it the first major outside-eyes read-through.
Ch.1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Ch. 10 - Ch. 11 - Ch. 12 - Ch. 13 - Ch. 14 - Ch. 15 - Ch. 16 - Ch. 17
Chapter Eighteen
The doctor Pete came up with was named Owen Harper. His bedside manner may have been a bit lacking, as he was more of a scientist than a doctor, but there was a matter-of-factness to him that soothed Rose.
“So you’re havin’ an alien baby, I’m told,” he said, upon meeting her, as if he were saying, So there’s a history of high cholesterol in your family, I’m told. Rose wasn’t entirely sure if he was trustworthy-that same matter-of-factness made him seem conviction-less, which worried her; she’d lived with the Doctor long enough that creatures without convictions scared her-but Pete seemed to think it would be fine, and she had to trust Pete.
Owen, though, listened to everything she said with an accepting intelligence. “Triple helix DNA?” he repeated, when she said that was the reason he couldn’t get a clear reading on the baby. “That’s some advanced species who got you knocked up.” Which wasn’t exactly a nice thing to say, but at least wasn’t panic. And, when he announced she was having twins and she said, “No, hopefully not. Two hearts, one baby, that’s the way it goes,” he merely shrugged.
Owen Harper, she thought, might possibly be able to help her have this baby. And the thought relieved her.
And then, one night, three months after her arrival in Pete’s world, she dreamed of the Doctor. This was not unusual in and of itself; she dreamed of him often. But this dream was different: Even as she was dreaming it, she was aware that it was an important dream, that she needed to pay attention to it.
They met in a velvet black sky scattered with stars, which was impossible, of course, but seemed only appropriate. He gave her an achingly sweet smile and followed it up with the merest brush of his lips over hers. She knew he kissed her but she couldn’t feel his lips, which was odd. Normally her dreams of him were so vivid that she woke with the heat of his fingertips still on her skin, and she would be shivering with the cold of his sudden disappearance, as if going through it all over again.
“Rose,” he whispered at her ear. “Can you hear me?”
And she could. He seemed to be whispering from inside of her. The words swept through her bloodstream, pushed against her skin. “Yes,” she whispered back. She lifted her hands to the hair at the nape of his neck, knew she was touching him but couldn’t seem to feel him at all. “What is it?” She sensed he had something important to tell her.
“Follow me,” he whispered. “Follow my voice. Rose.”
She woke with a start, sitting up in bed in a cold sweat. The echo of the Doctor’s voice was fading inside of her, but it was crystal clear what she had to do. He was calling her. She couldn’t explain exactly how it was happening, but he was calling her.
She leaped out of her bed, her heart in her throat as she raced to her mum and Pete’s bedroom and knocked on the door. Her mother answered sleepily, after a moment. “What is it?” she asked, alarmed.
“Mum. I have to go to Norway.” She wasn’t sure where that location had come from, just that she knew it was right.
Jackie stared at her. “What?”
“He’s calling me, Mum. He’s calling me. I have to pack and I have to go to Norway.”
Jackie was awake enough to say, “You’re not going alone.”
“Fine,” Rose agreed. “But we have to hurry.”
She flew back to her room. There wasn’t really anything to pack, once she stopped to think about it. She’d fallen into this world with nothing, and she could leave it just as easily. She threw a few of the articles of clothing she’d purchased into a bag, and then waited downstairs for Mum. She picked up her pendant. It was still ashy gray, but she still felt closer to the Doctor and the kids than she had in months. She was bouncing with excitement by the time her mother bustled down the staircase, followed by a yawning Pete.
“Norway?” he said. “You’re sure?”
“I’m positive.” The conviction came from a place deep inside her that she could never have explained.
They piled into Pete’s car and took off, driving and driving and driving. The Doctor kept calling, his voice whispering inside of her, and she became more and more confident that it was Norway. She only wished they could get there more quickly. She needed a TARDIS, she thought. For many, many, many reasons.
“Where in Norway?” Pete asked, finally, when they reached it.
“Keep going,” Rose said. “It’s a shoreline. It’s a…beach. That direction.” His voice was stronger now, and Rose’s knuckles were white with tension as she twisted her hands together on her lap. She looked at the diamond ring, where her hand rested, just over the womb where the baby was growing. And she smiled, imagining the look on the Doctor’s face when she told him. She imagined how Brem would react. He would probably be alarmed, she thought, fondly. Whereas Athena would probably be thrilled, in her placid fashion.
She knew the spot as soon as she saw it, made Pete pull the car up on the sand, and she clambered out of it. It was freezing, and the wind rushed up and stole her breath away. “Where are we?” she asked, turning back to Pete.
He was fussing with the navigational system. “Dårlig ulv stranden,” he said. “On the Norwegian map. On the English map, it says Bad Wolf Bay.”
“Bad Wolf Bay,” Rose repeated, and grinned. “How appropriate.” She turned back and looked out over the beach.
“Where are they?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know.” Rose fished her crystal pendant out, and laughed with relief. “But they’re close!” It was no longer grey, was not really any one colour but was instead a swirl of suggestions of colours that were trying to assert themselves.
Rose walked out over the beach, trying to look in every direction at once. And then, suddenly, they appeared on the beach. The Doctor, holding Athena in his arms and Brem by the hand. Brem waved at her enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down, and Athena tried to make a leap for her. Rose heard the “oof” that her sudden squirm elicited from the Doctor. She broke into a huge grin and raced for them, and then she was so full of emotion that she could think of nothing to say but, “You look like ghosts. I can see right through you.”
“Oh,” said the Doctor, letting go of Brem’s hand to reach the sonic screwdriver and pointed it. Their figures instantly solidified.
She reached for Athena, who was still leaning toward her, anxious to cuddle her.
“No touch,” the Doctor said, when her hands swiped through air.
Athena suddenly began crying. “Mum,” she said, reaching for her.
Rose, shocked, stared at the baby. “It’s okay,” she said, automatically, to Athena. “It’s fine.”
“Remember I said?” the Doctor said into Athena’s cheek. “You can’t touch but you can talk to her. Go ahead. Tell Mummy what we taught Madrid yesterday. Tell her.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Brem. “We taught him-”
“Let your sister tell her,” the Doctor interrupted, sharply.
Athena was swallowing her tears. “We taught him to play dead.”
Rose smiled, trying to swallow her own tears, her heart aching with love. “Did you?”
Athena nodded, gaining momentum now. “He lays on his back with his paws in the air, you should see it.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” said Rose.
“And Dad lets me drink tea,” inserted Brem. “Hot tea.”
“Does he? And do you like it?”
“I love it. But it’s better with milk. The way you have it.”
“I know. I keep telling your father that.” She looked at the Doctor. “How do I get back? What do I have to do?”
He hesitated. And she knew, at that moment, that she wasn’t getting back. He had no idea, she could see it in his eyes. And he wouldn’t say it out loud, she knew he wouldn’t, not in front of the children, and not in front of her, and maybe not even in front of himself, but he was at a loss and she knew it. “I’m working on it,” he said, finally.
“Okay.” She tried to look as if she could handle that, as if she wasn’t breaking inside. “Okay. But we can do this? We can talk?”
He took a deep breath, and she knew the answer to that as well, and suddenly thought she might collapse to the sand. It was only the fact that Athena and Brem were watching her that kept her upright. “It…took a supernova to get this projection across, and even now we haven’t much time.”
“Not much time?” She looked at the kids, thinking she hadn’t had nearly enough time with them.
“Two minutes,” said the Doctor.
“Two minutes?” she gasped, feeling dizzy.
“But we’re gonna get you back,” Brem inserted, anxiously. “Dad’s working on it.” Brem looked up at him. “Tell her how you’re working on it.”
“I am,” the Doctor managed, but he sounded like he was barely hanging onto his composure, which was not encouraging. “I’m working on it. I’ll figure it out, Rose. I promise.”
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Rose said. Her mind was flooded with everything that had to be said.
The Doctor’s eyes flickered beyond her. “They’re taking care of you?”
She knew he meant her mother and Pete. “They’re…Yeah. And the baby.”
The Doctor blinked. “The baby? You’re not…?” His eyes swept up her figure.
She went to say it, went to say yes, and the words died on her lips. She knew what it felt like to be separated from her children. And she suddenly couldn’t make herself say the words, to have the Doctor, on top of everything else, worry about this as well. She knew she should tell him. She knew it. And yet, when she opened her mouth, she heard herself say, “No. It’s Mum’s…Mum is…”
“Get out,” said the Doctor, looking back at Jackie and grinning. “What about that, kids? You’re going to have an aunt or uncle who’s younger than you.” He looked back at her. “How long has it been for you?”
“Three months,” she said, and the Doctor winced. “How long has it been for you?”
“Two weeks.”
She nodded.
“Where did the breach come out?” asked Brem.
“What?” She looked at him, almost not understanding the question because it seemed so unexpected.
“Dad and I were trying to plot it,” Brem explained, proudly. “Where we thought it’d be.”
It was a good way to get Brem involved, to distract him, and Rose was proud of the Doctor for coming up with it. “Oh, yeah? And where’d you think?”
“Norway,” said Brem. “Or Finland. Dad insists Finland.”
Rose smiled. “Norway.”
Brem bounced with triumph. “I knew it!”
The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Now he’s going to be insufferable.”
“It’s called Dårlig ulv stranden. .”
The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Dalek?”
She shook her head. “Dårlig. This place is Bad Wolf Bay.”
“Bad Wolf Bay?” echoed the Doctor. “Really?”
Rose nodded, and tried to figure out how much time she had left with them. Her eyes sought out Athena’s, then Brem’s. “You’ll be good for Daddy, right?”
“We’ll be fine,” the Doctor assured her, voice full of false joviality. “Tell Mum what we’re going to do tomorrow.”
“We’re going to see Kaj and Muj,” Athena managed, lower lip trembling.
“Oh, that’s an excellent idea.” Rose swiped hastily at her tears. “You,” she said to Brem. “Be patient with your father.”
Brem puffed up indignantly. “Don’t worry. I’ll watch him.”
Rose smiled. “That’s fine. But you don’t have to always be the brave one, you know. And try to comb your hair once in a while. And be nice to your sister.” She looked at the Doctor. “And make sure you make them eat vegetables. They can’t survive on just ice cream. And I love all of you so much.” She looked at each of them in turn. “I will always love all of you so much. Always.”
“We love you, too,” said Brem, readily, and Rose’s heart broke a little more. He was clearly doing his Doctor thing, pretending to be completely okay when nothing could be farther from the truth.
“Tell your mother you love her,” the Doctor murmured against Athena.
“I love you,” she said, her eyes swimming.
“I know,” Rose said, and looked at the Doctor. “I know,” she said again, putting into the phrase everything they had never said.
The Doctor opened and closed his mouth. “Rose,” he said, his voice breaking on the word.
And then they vanished, without warning. She flinched as if someone had reached out and slapped her, staring in disbelief at the empty beach in front of her. Then her legs buckled under her, and she found herself sitting on the cold, wet sand, sobbing into her hands.
**********************
Athena turned her face into the Doctor’s neck, but she did not cry. She took a long, deep breath of him, but she did not cry. She clung tightly to him, her tiny hands pulling at the hair on the nape of his neck as if she was afraid he would disappear, too.
“Okay,” said the Doctor, conversationally, clearing his throat and holding Athena to him. He looked at Brem, who was still looking at the spot in the control room where his mother had just disappeared. “What should we do? We could play a game. What do you think? Um, Pictionary, maybe? Or Fleurdian snap?”
Brem didn’t say anything. He was very still. The Doctor looked at him carefully.
Athena lifted her head up. “Can we talk to Mum again?”
“Not right now,” said the Doctor.
“I didn’t get to tell her about my new ribbon,” said Athena. The Doctor had given Athena a ribbon he had found in the wardrobe for her hair. It had stopped her complaining momentarily about his inability to properly brush it into a ponytail; she loved it because it was pink. He was quickly discovering that Athena was enchanted by all things pink. How he had not realized this before?
“I know,” he said. “It’s okay. Brem, do you want to go to the library? Maybe I’ll make hot cocoa? We could watch a movie? Would you like to watch a movie?”
“Can we watch The Little Mermaid?” asked Athena, brightly.
“Let’s see what your brother wants to watch. Brem?” The Doctor was concerned by Brem’s utter stillness. He had thought letting the kids talk to their mother for a couple of minutes-the best he could do-would help. But now he was worried that it hadn’t; hadn’t helped them and hadn’t helped him. It had just reminded all of them of what they’d lost.
Brem forced himself to look at his father. He seemed to be miles away, even as he answered. “It’s fine,” he said. “The Little Mermaid is fine.”
“And hot cocoa?” asked the Doctor, watching him.
Brem nodded.
The Doctor made them the hot cocoa and they settled in the library. Athena watched the movie raptly. The Doctor watched Brem, who sat in the corner of the couch, Madrid on his lap. His eyes were on the movie, but the Doctor didn’t think he saw any of it. Just as Sebastian was urging Eric to kiss the girl, Brem said abruptly, “I’m going to go get my blender-can opener-grill.”
Brem had been trying to combine the three appliances in a workable fashion, before they had lost Rose. The Doctor thought it was a good sign that he wanted it back, wanted to tinker again. “Okay,” he agreed. Athena had not even looked up from the movie, so involved in it was she.
He sat with Athena, watching the progression of the Eric-Ariel romance. He was always with Athena now. She cried miserably when he was not with her; she would not even consent to sleep without him being in the room. If she woke up to find him gone, it would take hours for him and Brem to calm her down.
But the Doctor shifted after a little while, when Brem did not return. “I’m going to check on your brother, do you mind?”
Athena looked briefly away from the movie. “No,” she said.
“If it gets scary, hide your eyes. I’ll be right back.” He kissed the top of her head as he settled her in the corner with Madrid and went off in search of Brem.
Brem was not in the nursery, the blender-can opener-grill was on the floor where Brem had left it weeks earlier, and for a moment the Doctor panicked. Then he thought to walk through the attached door to Brem’s bedroom. Brem’s bedroom had used to have an ever-changing theme. It seemed he never used the same colours, the same interests, for more than a few days. The Doctor realized, as he walked in, that the room was still Olympic-themed, that it hadn’t changed at all in the weeks since Rose had disappeared. He had had this happy, enthusiastic, curious little boy, and he knew he had to figure out some way to get him back.
Brem was curled into a ball on his bed, and the Doctor was relieved to see him. It was only after the initial relief that he realized that Brem was crying, tiny, furtive sobs against his bedspread with the Olympic rings. Brem had been such a rock, so reasonable, so in charge, while he had been flailing about not knowing what Pinky was and bewildered by Athena’s insistence that crusts be cut off her sandwiches. And he had let him, because it had been so easy to have someone be capable while he was busy falling apart. And now he had a four-year-old who felt he had to cry in secret over his missing mother. Rose, he thought, would kill him.
He walked into the room, crawled onto the bed with Brem, and gathered him into his arms. Brem’s hands closed into his father’s lapels and he snuggled against him.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” he said, catching his breath.
“Stop it,” the Doctor commanded, firmly. “Don’t you dare apologize. You’ve been holding all of us together, which isn’t your job and never should have been.”
“I miss Mum.”
“I know. I miss her, too.”
“You have to get her back, Dad. You have to. Please. I’ll never ask for anything else ever again, I promise.”
The Doctor stared up at Brem’s ceiling. “If I’m going to get your mother back, I’m going to need some help.”
Brem lifted his head, sniffling. “I’ll help you. I will. I promise. Whatever you want.”
The Doctor smiled. “What I want is for you to change this room. Haven’t you had it like this for a while?”
Brem looked around him musingly. “I was thinking maybe I’d do a green ceiling. Kind of like the sky on Muscatan.”
“That’d be nice,” the Doctor agreed.
“You think so?”
“Yeah.”
Brem settled his little head on his father’s chest, and the Doctor listened to him take heavy, tear-laden breaths. He combed his messy hair. “You’ve been…You saved us. You saved all of us. I’ll handle it from this point on, I promise. I will get you back your mother. But we’re going to have to stop travelling for a little while. I need to concentrate.”
“That’s okay,” Brem said, anxiously, lifting his head again.
The Doctor looked at him and smiled.
“What?” asked Brem, tipping his head as his father stayed silent.
“Two things,” said the Doctor. “First, I am impossibly proud of you. Second, and more importantly, we are so lucky, your mother and I, to have you.”
Brem suddenly giggled.
“What’s so funny?” the Doctor asked, surprised.
“Mum’s right about you.”
“How?” the Doctor asked, a trifle suspiciously.
“She said you’d never use three words to say ‘I love you’ if you could use three hundred instead.”
“She said that?”
Brem nodded, looking delighted at being able to share this revelation.
“Welllll,” considered the Doctor, thoughtfully. “Good to know she knows that about me.”
“Mum knows everything,” Brem said, wisely.
“Oi,” said the Doctor, good-naturedly. “She doesn’t know anything about the seven seasons of Hibrgex.”
Brem grinned, enjoying the teasing. His eyes were bright with humour, and he looked a hundred times better than he had just minutes earlier. “Yeah, and she thought the Head Consul on New Burftyria was a rock, remember?”
The Doctor enjoyed seeing Brem even marginally happy for a change. Everything seemed fixable suddenly. So what if he hadn’t a single idea on how to safely get across the Void? He would figure it out. He would. “She does know everything important, though,” he allowed.
“Yeah,” Brem agreed, and cuddled against his father.
They fell into a companionable silence, until Athena abruptly rounded the corner into the bedroom, Madrid on her heels. The Doctor lifted his head a bit to look at her. “What’s up?” he asked.
“Ursula was…” Athena shuddered eloquently then leaped onto Brem’s bed, crawling to find space on the other side of her father.
The Doctor felt somewhat content for the first time since he’d sensed the storm approaching. “Let’s go over Earth’s periodic table,” he said. “I’ll go first. Hydrogen.” And he and the kids named the elements, on Brem’s bed, as they orbited the supernova.
Next Chapter
Author --
earlgreytea68
Rating - Teen
Characters -- Ten, Rose, Jackie, Pete, Owen, OCs
Spoilers: Through the end of S2.
Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make money off of them, but I don't like to dwell on that, so let's move on. (Except for Brem and Athena. They're all mine.)
Summary - And then there came a day when Rose said she was having a baby. Hijinks ensue from there.
Author’s Notes - I keep doing this to you guys, and I'm sorry for posting on consecutive days and then disappearing. I fail at organizing my weeks for you, I really do...
The icon was created by
punkinart , commissioned by
aibhinn , who graciously offered it to me for my use.
jlrpuck is so awesome and so in-demand that I am terribly flattered that somehow I stumbled into having her as a beta. Many thanks also to Kristin-who-won't-get-an-LJ, who brainstormed this fic with me endlessly, and
bouncy_castle79 , who gave it the first major outside-eyes read-through.
Ch.1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Ch. 10 - Ch. 11 - Ch. 12 - Ch. 13 - Ch. 14 - Ch. 15 - Ch. 16 - Ch. 17
Chapter Eighteen
The doctor Pete came up with was named Owen Harper. His bedside manner may have been a bit lacking, as he was more of a scientist than a doctor, but there was a matter-of-factness to him that soothed Rose.
“So you’re havin’ an alien baby, I’m told,” he said, upon meeting her, as if he were saying, So there’s a history of high cholesterol in your family, I’m told. Rose wasn’t entirely sure if he was trustworthy-that same matter-of-factness made him seem conviction-less, which worried her; she’d lived with the Doctor long enough that creatures without convictions scared her-but Pete seemed to think it would be fine, and she had to trust Pete.
Owen, though, listened to everything she said with an accepting intelligence. “Triple helix DNA?” he repeated, when she said that was the reason he couldn’t get a clear reading on the baby. “That’s some advanced species who got you knocked up.” Which wasn’t exactly a nice thing to say, but at least wasn’t panic. And, when he announced she was having twins and she said, “No, hopefully not. Two hearts, one baby, that’s the way it goes,” he merely shrugged.
Owen Harper, she thought, might possibly be able to help her have this baby. And the thought relieved her.
And then, one night, three months after her arrival in Pete’s world, she dreamed of the Doctor. This was not unusual in and of itself; she dreamed of him often. But this dream was different: Even as she was dreaming it, she was aware that it was an important dream, that she needed to pay attention to it.
They met in a velvet black sky scattered with stars, which was impossible, of course, but seemed only appropriate. He gave her an achingly sweet smile and followed it up with the merest brush of his lips over hers. She knew he kissed her but she couldn’t feel his lips, which was odd. Normally her dreams of him were so vivid that she woke with the heat of his fingertips still on her skin, and she would be shivering with the cold of his sudden disappearance, as if going through it all over again.
“Rose,” he whispered at her ear. “Can you hear me?”
And she could. He seemed to be whispering from inside of her. The words swept through her bloodstream, pushed against her skin. “Yes,” she whispered back. She lifted her hands to the hair at the nape of his neck, knew she was touching him but couldn’t seem to feel him at all. “What is it?” She sensed he had something important to tell her.
“Follow me,” he whispered. “Follow my voice. Rose.”
She woke with a start, sitting up in bed in a cold sweat. The echo of the Doctor’s voice was fading inside of her, but it was crystal clear what she had to do. He was calling her. She couldn’t explain exactly how it was happening, but he was calling her.
She leaped out of her bed, her heart in her throat as she raced to her mum and Pete’s bedroom and knocked on the door. Her mother answered sleepily, after a moment. “What is it?” she asked, alarmed.
“Mum. I have to go to Norway.” She wasn’t sure where that location had come from, just that she knew it was right.
Jackie stared at her. “What?”
“He’s calling me, Mum. He’s calling me. I have to pack and I have to go to Norway.”
Jackie was awake enough to say, “You’re not going alone.”
“Fine,” Rose agreed. “But we have to hurry.”
She flew back to her room. There wasn’t really anything to pack, once she stopped to think about it. She’d fallen into this world with nothing, and she could leave it just as easily. She threw a few of the articles of clothing she’d purchased into a bag, and then waited downstairs for Mum. She picked up her pendant. It was still ashy gray, but she still felt closer to the Doctor and the kids than she had in months. She was bouncing with excitement by the time her mother bustled down the staircase, followed by a yawning Pete.
“Norway?” he said. “You’re sure?”
“I’m positive.” The conviction came from a place deep inside her that she could never have explained.
They piled into Pete’s car and took off, driving and driving and driving. The Doctor kept calling, his voice whispering inside of her, and she became more and more confident that it was Norway. She only wished they could get there more quickly. She needed a TARDIS, she thought. For many, many, many reasons.
“Where in Norway?” Pete asked, finally, when they reached it.
“Keep going,” Rose said. “It’s a shoreline. It’s a…beach. That direction.” His voice was stronger now, and Rose’s knuckles were white with tension as she twisted her hands together on her lap. She looked at the diamond ring, where her hand rested, just over the womb where the baby was growing. And she smiled, imagining the look on the Doctor’s face when she told him. She imagined how Brem would react. He would probably be alarmed, she thought, fondly. Whereas Athena would probably be thrilled, in her placid fashion.
She knew the spot as soon as she saw it, made Pete pull the car up on the sand, and she clambered out of it. It was freezing, and the wind rushed up and stole her breath away. “Where are we?” she asked, turning back to Pete.
He was fussing with the navigational system. “Dårlig ulv stranden,” he said. “On the Norwegian map. On the English map, it says Bad Wolf Bay.”
“Bad Wolf Bay,” Rose repeated, and grinned. “How appropriate.” She turned back and looked out over the beach.
“Where are they?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know.” Rose fished her crystal pendant out, and laughed with relief. “But they’re close!” It was no longer grey, was not really any one colour but was instead a swirl of suggestions of colours that were trying to assert themselves.
Rose walked out over the beach, trying to look in every direction at once. And then, suddenly, they appeared on the beach. The Doctor, holding Athena in his arms and Brem by the hand. Brem waved at her enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down, and Athena tried to make a leap for her. Rose heard the “oof” that her sudden squirm elicited from the Doctor. She broke into a huge grin and raced for them, and then she was so full of emotion that she could think of nothing to say but, “You look like ghosts. I can see right through you.”
“Oh,” said the Doctor, letting go of Brem’s hand to reach the sonic screwdriver and pointed it. Their figures instantly solidified.
She reached for Athena, who was still leaning toward her, anxious to cuddle her.
“No touch,” the Doctor said, when her hands swiped through air.
Athena suddenly began crying. “Mum,” she said, reaching for her.
Rose, shocked, stared at the baby. “It’s okay,” she said, automatically, to Athena. “It’s fine.”
“Remember I said?” the Doctor said into Athena’s cheek. “You can’t touch but you can talk to her. Go ahead. Tell Mummy what we taught Madrid yesterday. Tell her.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Brem. “We taught him-”
“Let your sister tell her,” the Doctor interrupted, sharply.
Athena was swallowing her tears. “We taught him to play dead.”
Rose smiled, trying to swallow her own tears, her heart aching with love. “Did you?”
Athena nodded, gaining momentum now. “He lays on his back with his paws in the air, you should see it.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” said Rose.
“And Dad lets me drink tea,” inserted Brem. “Hot tea.”
“Does he? And do you like it?”
“I love it. But it’s better with milk. The way you have it.”
“I know. I keep telling your father that.” She looked at the Doctor. “How do I get back? What do I have to do?”
He hesitated. And she knew, at that moment, that she wasn’t getting back. He had no idea, she could see it in his eyes. And he wouldn’t say it out loud, she knew he wouldn’t, not in front of the children, and not in front of her, and maybe not even in front of himself, but he was at a loss and she knew it. “I’m working on it,” he said, finally.
“Okay.” She tried to look as if she could handle that, as if she wasn’t breaking inside. “Okay. But we can do this? We can talk?”
He took a deep breath, and she knew the answer to that as well, and suddenly thought she might collapse to the sand. It was only the fact that Athena and Brem were watching her that kept her upright. “It…took a supernova to get this projection across, and even now we haven’t much time.”
“Not much time?” She looked at the kids, thinking she hadn’t had nearly enough time with them.
“Two minutes,” said the Doctor.
“Two minutes?” she gasped, feeling dizzy.
“But we’re gonna get you back,” Brem inserted, anxiously. “Dad’s working on it.” Brem looked up at him. “Tell her how you’re working on it.”
“I am,” the Doctor managed, but he sounded like he was barely hanging onto his composure, which was not encouraging. “I’m working on it. I’ll figure it out, Rose. I promise.”
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Rose said. Her mind was flooded with everything that had to be said.
The Doctor’s eyes flickered beyond her. “They’re taking care of you?”
She knew he meant her mother and Pete. “They’re…Yeah. And the baby.”
The Doctor blinked. “The baby? You’re not…?” His eyes swept up her figure.
She went to say it, went to say yes, and the words died on her lips. She knew what it felt like to be separated from her children. And she suddenly couldn’t make herself say the words, to have the Doctor, on top of everything else, worry about this as well. She knew she should tell him. She knew it. And yet, when she opened her mouth, she heard herself say, “No. It’s Mum’s…Mum is…”
“Get out,” said the Doctor, looking back at Jackie and grinning. “What about that, kids? You’re going to have an aunt or uncle who’s younger than you.” He looked back at her. “How long has it been for you?”
“Three months,” she said, and the Doctor winced. “How long has it been for you?”
“Two weeks.”
She nodded.
“Where did the breach come out?” asked Brem.
“What?” She looked at him, almost not understanding the question because it seemed so unexpected.
“Dad and I were trying to plot it,” Brem explained, proudly. “Where we thought it’d be.”
It was a good way to get Brem involved, to distract him, and Rose was proud of the Doctor for coming up with it. “Oh, yeah? And where’d you think?”
“Norway,” said Brem. “Or Finland. Dad insists Finland.”
Rose smiled. “Norway.”
Brem bounced with triumph. “I knew it!”
The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Now he’s going to be insufferable.”
“It’s called Dårlig ulv stranden. .”
The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Dalek?”
She shook her head. “Dårlig. This place is Bad Wolf Bay.”
“Bad Wolf Bay?” echoed the Doctor. “Really?”
Rose nodded, and tried to figure out how much time she had left with them. Her eyes sought out Athena’s, then Brem’s. “You’ll be good for Daddy, right?”
“We’ll be fine,” the Doctor assured her, voice full of false joviality. “Tell Mum what we’re going to do tomorrow.”
“We’re going to see Kaj and Muj,” Athena managed, lower lip trembling.
“Oh, that’s an excellent idea.” Rose swiped hastily at her tears. “You,” she said to Brem. “Be patient with your father.”
Brem puffed up indignantly. “Don’t worry. I’ll watch him.”
Rose smiled. “That’s fine. But you don’t have to always be the brave one, you know. And try to comb your hair once in a while. And be nice to your sister.” She looked at the Doctor. “And make sure you make them eat vegetables. They can’t survive on just ice cream. And I love all of you so much.” She looked at each of them in turn. “I will always love all of you so much. Always.”
“We love you, too,” said Brem, readily, and Rose’s heart broke a little more. He was clearly doing his Doctor thing, pretending to be completely okay when nothing could be farther from the truth.
“Tell your mother you love her,” the Doctor murmured against Athena.
“I love you,” she said, her eyes swimming.
“I know,” Rose said, and looked at the Doctor. “I know,” she said again, putting into the phrase everything they had never said.
The Doctor opened and closed his mouth. “Rose,” he said, his voice breaking on the word.
And then they vanished, without warning. She flinched as if someone had reached out and slapped her, staring in disbelief at the empty beach in front of her. Then her legs buckled under her, and she found herself sitting on the cold, wet sand, sobbing into her hands.
**********************
Athena turned her face into the Doctor’s neck, but she did not cry. She took a long, deep breath of him, but she did not cry. She clung tightly to him, her tiny hands pulling at the hair on the nape of his neck as if she was afraid he would disappear, too.
“Okay,” said the Doctor, conversationally, clearing his throat and holding Athena to him. He looked at Brem, who was still looking at the spot in the control room where his mother had just disappeared. “What should we do? We could play a game. What do you think? Um, Pictionary, maybe? Or Fleurdian snap?”
Brem didn’t say anything. He was very still. The Doctor looked at him carefully.
Athena lifted her head up. “Can we talk to Mum again?”
“Not right now,” said the Doctor.
“I didn’t get to tell her about my new ribbon,” said Athena. The Doctor had given Athena a ribbon he had found in the wardrobe for her hair. It had stopped her complaining momentarily about his inability to properly brush it into a ponytail; she loved it because it was pink. He was quickly discovering that Athena was enchanted by all things pink. How he had not realized this before?
“I know,” he said. “It’s okay. Brem, do you want to go to the library? Maybe I’ll make hot cocoa? We could watch a movie? Would you like to watch a movie?”
“Can we watch The Little Mermaid?” asked Athena, brightly.
“Let’s see what your brother wants to watch. Brem?” The Doctor was concerned by Brem’s utter stillness. He had thought letting the kids talk to their mother for a couple of minutes-the best he could do-would help. But now he was worried that it hadn’t; hadn’t helped them and hadn’t helped him. It had just reminded all of them of what they’d lost.
Brem forced himself to look at his father. He seemed to be miles away, even as he answered. “It’s fine,” he said. “The Little Mermaid is fine.”
“And hot cocoa?” asked the Doctor, watching him.
Brem nodded.
The Doctor made them the hot cocoa and they settled in the library. Athena watched the movie raptly. The Doctor watched Brem, who sat in the corner of the couch, Madrid on his lap. His eyes were on the movie, but the Doctor didn’t think he saw any of it. Just as Sebastian was urging Eric to kiss the girl, Brem said abruptly, “I’m going to go get my blender-can opener-grill.”
Brem had been trying to combine the three appliances in a workable fashion, before they had lost Rose. The Doctor thought it was a good sign that he wanted it back, wanted to tinker again. “Okay,” he agreed. Athena had not even looked up from the movie, so involved in it was she.
He sat with Athena, watching the progression of the Eric-Ariel romance. He was always with Athena now. She cried miserably when he was not with her; she would not even consent to sleep without him being in the room. If she woke up to find him gone, it would take hours for him and Brem to calm her down.
But the Doctor shifted after a little while, when Brem did not return. “I’m going to check on your brother, do you mind?”
Athena looked briefly away from the movie. “No,” she said.
“If it gets scary, hide your eyes. I’ll be right back.” He kissed the top of her head as he settled her in the corner with Madrid and went off in search of Brem.
Brem was not in the nursery, the blender-can opener-grill was on the floor where Brem had left it weeks earlier, and for a moment the Doctor panicked. Then he thought to walk through the attached door to Brem’s bedroom. Brem’s bedroom had used to have an ever-changing theme. It seemed he never used the same colours, the same interests, for more than a few days. The Doctor realized, as he walked in, that the room was still Olympic-themed, that it hadn’t changed at all in the weeks since Rose had disappeared. He had had this happy, enthusiastic, curious little boy, and he knew he had to figure out some way to get him back.
Brem was curled into a ball on his bed, and the Doctor was relieved to see him. It was only after the initial relief that he realized that Brem was crying, tiny, furtive sobs against his bedspread with the Olympic rings. Brem had been such a rock, so reasonable, so in charge, while he had been flailing about not knowing what Pinky was and bewildered by Athena’s insistence that crusts be cut off her sandwiches. And he had let him, because it had been so easy to have someone be capable while he was busy falling apart. And now he had a four-year-old who felt he had to cry in secret over his missing mother. Rose, he thought, would kill him.
He walked into the room, crawled onto the bed with Brem, and gathered him into his arms. Brem’s hands closed into his father’s lapels and he snuggled against him.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” he said, catching his breath.
“Stop it,” the Doctor commanded, firmly. “Don’t you dare apologize. You’ve been holding all of us together, which isn’t your job and never should have been.”
“I miss Mum.”
“I know. I miss her, too.”
“You have to get her back, Dad. You have to. Please. I’ll never ask for anything else ever again, I promise.”
The Doctor stared up at Brem’s ceiling. “If I’m going to get your mother back, I’m going to need some help.”
Brem lifted his head, sniffling. “I’ll help you. I will. I promise. Whatever you want.”
The Doctor smiled. “What I want is for you to change this room. Haven’t you had it like this for a while?”
Brem looked around him musingly. “I was thinking maybe I’d do a green ceiling. Kind of like the sky on Muscatan.”
“That’d be nice,” the Doctor agreed.
“You think so?”
“Yeah.”
Brem settled his little head on his father’s chest, and the Doctor listened to him take heavy, tear-laden breaths. He combed his messy hair. “You’ve been…You saved us. You saved all of us. I’ll handle it from this point on, I promise. I will get you back your mother. But we’re going to have to stop travelling for a little while. I need to concentrate.”
“That’s okay,” Brem said, anxiously, lifting his head again.
The Doctor looked at him and smiled.
“What?” asked Brem, tipping his head as his father stayed silent.
“Two things,” said the Doctor. “First, I am impossibly proud of you. Second, and more importantly, we are so lucky, your mother and I, to have you.”
Brem suddenly giggled.
“What’s so funny?” the Doctor asked, surprised.
“Mum’s right about you.”
“How?” the Doctor asked, a trifle suspiciously.
“She said you’d never use three words to say ‘I love you’ if you could use three hundred instead.”
“She said that?”
Brem nodded, looking delighted at being able to share this revelation.
“Welllll,” considered the Doctor, thoughtfully. “Good to know she knows that about me.”
“Mum knows everything,” Brem said, wisely.
“Oi,” said the Doctor, good-naturedly. “She doesn’t know anything about the seven seasons of Hibrgex.”
Brem grinned, enjoying the teasing. His eyes were bright with humour, and he looked a hundred times better than he had just minutes earlier. “Yeah, and she thought the Head Consul on New Burftyria was a rock, remember?”
The Doctor enjoyed seeing Brem even marginally happy for a change. Everything seemed fixable suddenly. So what if he hadn’t a single idea on how to safely get across the Void? He would figure it out. He would. “She does know everything important, though,” he allowed.
“Yeah,” Brem agreed, and cuddled against his father.
They fell into a companionable silence, until Athena abruptly rounded the corner into the bedroom, Madrid on her heels. The Doctor lifted his head a bit to look at her. “What’s up?” he asked.
“Ursula was…” Athena shuddered eloquently then leaped onto Brem’s bed, crawling to find space on the other side of her father.
The Doctor felt somewhat content for the first time since he’d sensed the storm approaching. “Let’s go over Earth’s periodic table,” he said. “I’ll go first. Hydrogen.” And he and the kids named the elements, on Brem’s bed, as they orbited the supernova.
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